A devil's thrill
by Konnie-chan
Summary: Can a desperate soul finally find rest? FINISHED Pairings Tsusoka, TsuHijiri, TatsWat
1. 1

**_A/N: My first YNM fic. It's funny, two weeks ago I didn't know what YNM was. I have to thank Shiozaki for that. I read her FAKE fic and loved it, so I wanted to read another one of hers but, as a rule, I only read fics about things I like, and so I started looking for YNM. In two days I'd read every scanlation, review and translation available. It is now, without fear of exaggerating, my favourite manga ever!_**

**_I hope I didn't mess up with the characters much. This fic is a multi-parted fic, but it wont be very long. It's actually inspired on another fic, but I can't thank the author properly for the idea, nor apologize for ripping off her story, until it's over, because it'd spoil the surprise. I promise I will thank her in due time._**

**_Another thing, if anyone's reading my CCS fic, I won't update until someone reviews. I think people must have gotten the wrong idea with that fic, and that's why it's a failure. I guess, if I ever finish it, I'll know for sure._**

**_I hope you like, I hope you review, I hope this is not too long an a/n._**

**_I don't own anything, not even my clothes._**

**_Enjoy!_**

**A DEVIL'S THRILL**

It hurt. Every noise, every unsuspected movement of his head; everything just worsened the sting behind his eyes. He should haveknown better by now. Seventy years of pulling this stunt every week, knowing full well that Monday would be hell, and yet he kept doing it.

"Baka no Tsusuki." he whined/whispered.

Slow, carefully calculated steps led him through the Shokan division building's halls. Other Shinigami passed his way but he didn't acknowledge them. His primal concern was to get to his office undetected by Tatsumi, who'd probably give him hell... again.

His former partner knew him better than anyone, with the possible exception of Konoe, and he was sure he wouldn't be able to lie through his teeth as he did with Hisoka when he asked him- 'cause he knew he'd ask him- why he'd gotten himself drunk the night before.

Lying was becoming both a habit and absolutely useless at the same time. Everyone, including the people who didn't know him too well, knew what had happened in Kyoto. It wouldn't take a genius to put two and two together and figure out that he wasn't coping as well as he told everyone.

"Next time I try to off myself, I'll do it in private," he thought bitterly.

The fact that he thought there would be a next time wasn't comforting. Was there ever going to be a time when he didn't feel like this? So disgusting and unworthy of the affection everyone had for him? So dangerous?

It was a matter of time before they realised what a monster he was. The problem was that in Enmachou, people really seemed to take an awful lot of time before realising about anything.

"Just look at Watari and Tatsumi," he muttered with a smirk.

Oh, like he was one to talk.

But he didn't have time to let that thought develop. He opened the door to his office, after taking a minute or so to place that carefully designed mask of happiness on his face.

"Ohayou, Hisoka-kun!" he cheered.

Hisoka lifted his eyes from his paperwork and focused a severe, scolding glare on him.

"You're late, as usual."

Usually he wouldn't care about Hisoka doing all his paper work. Today, it was just another reminder of how much of a burden he really was. He slumped on his chair with a vague, apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry," he said softy, avoiding Hisoka's eyes. If he'd seen his partner's face, he'd seen the startled look he gave him.

"Tsusuki?"

The questioning tone of his partner helped his mood sink a few feet lower; now he'd managed to worry him. He managed to place the most infuriating smile on his face; the one that he knew would annoy Hisoka to death, and laughed.

"I just have a hangover. I guess I should stop drinking on Sunday, ne?"

Hisoka rolled his eyes.

"Drunk," the younger man muttered, focusing his attention back to the files.

Hisoka was at a loss. Ever since Kyoto, Tsusuki hadn't been the same. Or maybe he had, but it was just now that he could see through the lie. That said a lot about his empathic abilities, didn't it?

The worst part was that he couldn't just talk to him. Partly because he knew Tsusuki wouldn't open up; he was the kind of guy who thought that sharing his problems was passing them to others, and he didn't realise that attitude only helped worrying everyone even more. But Hisoka himself couldn't go pass his inability to express his feelings. He couldn't level with Tsusuki; tell him how worried he really was.

His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Hisoka looked up to greet the new comer, who this time happened to be Watari, wearing a cheerful smile.

"Konnichi wa Hisoka-kun, Tsusuki-san." the scientist bowed gracefully.

"Konnichi wa Watari-san," the younger of the three said, a smile creeping to his face.

Watari's cheerfulness was very contagious when it wasn't dangerous and, since last week the crazy scientist had turned Tatsumi into a cat for an entire day and all research was absolutely forbidden until further notice, Hisoka felt it was safe to be near the genki blond.

Tsusuki lazily waved hello from his desk and groaned. His face was buried in his folded arms.

"Partied too much last night, Tsusuki?" The mass of brown hair moved up and down slowly, so Hisoka, as well as Watari, assumed Tsusuki was nodding. "I have just the thing to cheer you up!"

In spite of the throbbing headache, Tsusuki couldn't help to rise his gaze in fear. Wasn't Watari supposed to be banned from the lab, therefore from creating anything that would "cheer him up"?

He glanced at Hisoka, who was wearing a preoccupied frown. The younger man returned the glance equally scared.

"N-nani?" Tsusuki stammered.

Watari beamed.

"I have wonderful news!" the scientist gracefully and somewhat suggestively sat himself on Tsusuki's desk and crossed his legs. He then proceeded to lower his face mere inches away from Tsusuki's. "You have a visitor!" he whispered.

* * *

This was unacceptable. It was down right outrageous! 

Tatsumi was pissed.

A human... human, on Meifuu; and for a social visit?! Maybe Konoe was going senile. Could shinigamis go senile?

Well, he thought, it wasn't that bad. The boy had already been there once and Tatsumi had no reasons to mistrust him. Besides, it may be just what Tsusuki needed to feel better.

Hadn't it been Hijiri the one to help him last time he had let himself fall into depression? This was a little different; worse, but the shadow master didn't think it could hurt to give it a try. Still, if Konoe was senile that would mean a juicy raiseto his pay check when he got the promotion. Maybe he should still suggest to Enma to retire the old man.

Hijiri had said he was there to visit Kazusa, but one look at the boy's face when Watari suggested he'd pay a visit to Tsusuki had been enough to guess his real reasons. Not that he blamed him; Tsusuki could be quite the charmer. He shook the memories of a certain dark haired man in a certain hot spring and opened the door to Watari's lab. He was thereto make sure there were no experiments in process and, while he was at it, pay a visit to the blond man. Instead of his cheerful friend, hewas welcomedby a pair of round, inquiring eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," he whispered. "It wasn't my fault I attacked you. Blame your master."

003 still sported a bandaged wing and Tatsumi thanked for the thousand time he still had both his eyes and couldn't remember anything from his death match with the owl a week before. He sat on a chair, purposely ignoring the bird'sunfriendly stare as he waited for Watari. Tatsumi, out of having anything better to do, began to study his surroundings. Watari wasn't what one could call organized, exactly. Actually, everything was quite messy; but Tatsumi had to admit the mess was not unpleasant, it was almost feminine; delicate and most definitively Watari-like. He wasn't sure what was more surprising, that a room could say so much about someone, or that he knew Watari well enough to recognise him in his laboratory.

The man in question walked in and, far from being his usual cheerful self, Tatsumi noted helooked quiteworried.

"Watari-san," he greeted the other man, standing up and bowing slightly.

The blond man seemed startled upon hearing his voice, which confirmed to Tatsumi that his friend was indeed worried, because he hadn't seen him sitting there as soon as he had entered.

"Oh, Tatsumi-san! You scared me!" Watari laughed with a hand close to his heart.

Tatsumi wondered if it was a condition to become a shinigami to be able to hide one's feelings. God only knew how good he'd got at it through the years.

"Gomen, Watari. I was just doing my daily inspection and I thought I'd wait for you to see how things had gone with Tsusuki..." he paused and looked down. "I guess it didn't go well?"

Watari waved him off with a smile.

"No, it was ok. Hijiri-kun and Tsusuki-san are talking outside as we speak." He shook his head and motioned at his stuff. "And, as you can see, I've been a good boy. You may wanna consider an early release?"

Tatsumi snorted.

"Maybe; and maybe it'll snow in hell."

"Oh." Watari pouted.

Tatsumi shook his head, amused.

"Now, now..." he patted Watari's back. "So..." He sobered up a little and looked at his friend with a concerned expression. "...uhm... How was Tsusuki-san this morning?"

Watari sighed and took off his glasses to clean them.

"Same as yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that..." The scientist looked at the door of the lab with a wistful expression. "And Hisoka doesn't seem to be helping," he said rather frustrated.

Tatsumi raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean? Hisoka has tried to help him as much as he could. Everyone has!"

With a weary smile, Watari shook his head.

"I know that. But I also know he needs more than that. He needs someone to show him that he's loved and that he deserves it. Maybe I..." Watari's face saddened a little. "...maybe I'm wrong in assuming Hisoka is the one for the job though. Maybe you..."

For some reason, Tatsumi felt a lump forming in his throat. He couldn't lie to Watari and tell him that he didn't love Tsusuki. He did, and had loved the other man for a long time, but having Watari next to him, with that look on his face that he so much wanted to believe it meant something, Tsusuki was the last thing on his mind. Acting on impulse- something he very rarely did- Tatsumi tucked a lock of the beautiful blond hair behind Watari's ear. The blond man looked up, shocked, and locked eyes with him.

Tatsumi shook himself from his dazed state and smile sheepishly, walking towards the door.

"Well, I have work to do. Remember to stay away from any chemicals until I tell you otherwise."

Watari gave him his brightest smile.

"I don't know why you're so angry. You were so cute as a kitten!"

The shadow master would have blushed, if he had been able to, and decided to leave as fast as he could, before Watari said something that would embarrass him further.

* * *

The Sakura petals flowed softly around them, perfuming the air of that eternal spring that was Meifuu. Hijiri and Tsusuki had walked in comfortable silence for a while, but the younger man wanted to know why his friend looked so gloomy so, as much as it seemed wrong to break that silence, he spoke. 

"You don't look so good," he said, not really passing judgement or inquiring, just stating a truth.

Tsusuki looked at him smiling slightly.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask."

"What do you mean?" Hijiri asked curiously.

"I know why you came. I'm not stupid. A human on Meifuu, for a social visit? Tell me, did you have a hard time finding the entrance?"

There was the slightest hint of spite in Tsusuki's voice, as well as a healthy dose of sarcasm,that caused Hijiri tofrown.

"Kazusa sent for me. Of course I couldn't have come here on my own, but since I was here I thought I'd pay you a visit. Am I bothering you?"

Hijiri heard Tsusuki sigh. He noticed for the first time that the older man had not looked at him directly in the eye once in all the time they been together and started to wonder if there wasn't something seriously wrong with him. The little time they'd spent together before that dayhad been enough for Hijiri to learn how sensitive Tsusuki was, in spite his carefree appearance.

"Of course you're not bothering me," Tsusuki said softly. "I just don't like being tricked. I wouldn't have minded if you'd been honest with me. You could have told me why they'd sent for you."

The younger man stopped and took hold of Tsusuki's arm, forcing him to face him.

"Apparently you seem to think there's another reason for me to be here. Unfortunately I ignore it. Why don't you tell me why I'm here?"

Tsusuki's shoulders slumped. He had done it. 'Good for you, baka!' he thought. Not only he'd been rude to his friend, now he'd have to explain where all that load of crap had come from. He could tell now that Hijiri didn't know what he was talking about. He sighed again and motioned to the nearest tree so they could sit down and talk. Maybe it would be a good thing. He'd meant to talk to someone for a while, but no one in the Shokan division could really hear what he wanted to say.

They both sat under the protective shadow of an old tree; Tsusuki purposely avoiding Hijiri's concerned stare. Those green eyes filled with worry and affection; he wanted to see that so much; that same face, those same eyes, but another soul, and he couldn't bare the similarity.

"So, you don't know?" Tsusuki whispered. Hijiri seemed to sense the seriousness of the topic, because he just nodded, compelling him to continue and took his hand in his. The older man cleared his throat. "I... I tried to kill myself a while back and..." Tsusuki winced when he heard the sharp intake of breath coming from his companion.

"Why?" Hijiri asked. His voice was filled with hurt and a quiet desperation.

"That's not important," the shinigami said hastily. "It's just that...now everyone treats me like I'm going to break and..."

"Do you still want to... to die?" Hijiri averted his eyes from his friend's face, afraid of hearingthe answer. His fears apparently, were well founded.

"Yes," Tsusuki answered, determined. He then shrugged and smiled. "But I'm not going to do anything. I promised Hisoka I wouldn't."

Relief washed over Hijiri.

"Oh, that's good. You need to find something to cling to, I guess... I don't know."

Tsusuki's face saddened. It was now or never. He had to tell someone or he'd go mad.

"I just don't think it's fair," he whispered. Hijiri frowned.

"What isn't?"

"Me, having to stay here, when I'm so tired of this; of living, out of a promise I made to someonewho hates me."

Hijiri shook his head fervently.

"He doesn't hate you! Why would you think that? I remember the way he almost dies to get you off that demon's claws!"

Tsusuki snorted.

"He certainly seems determined to keep me here, that's for sure; but he doesn't even like me! He thinks I'm useless, a drunk, an idiot!" Tsusuki's voice was starting to falter. "The worst of it is that he's right."

Before he had time to protest, Tsusuki found himself trapped in a firm embrace. The arms weren't that strong, but not because of that the embrace was any less comforting, and he buried his face on the younger man's chest, wondering why the tears wouldn't come out.

"I don't care what you think, what anyone thinks, I love you. Please don't leave me." Hijiri whispered pleadingly into his ear, comfortingly stroking his hair. Tsusuki tightened the embrace, circling Hijiri's waist with his arms as if he was his life line. He was, in a way, Tsusuki mused.

A few feet away, behind one of the trees near them, a pair of green eyes had witnessed the scene, and now they were clouded with tears.

**_TBC_**


	2. 2

**_A/N: I can't believe how fast part two got here! I'm on fire! I really don't know how to summarize this story without giving it away. _**

**_I'm sorry if this fic is too Tsusuki centric. I just love him the most! I know he's not everyone's favorite, but I can't help myself! He's so much like me, it's scary! _**

**_Should I put a shounen ai warning? I mean, c'mon, it is a shounen ai manga! BTW, to me shounen ai means kissing (tongue too :P), groping and tasteful non descriptive 'love' scenes. Yaoi, as far as I know, is pure, un-plotted porn( is it porn if it's written?) Maybe I did need a warning after all. _**

**_Another very important thing. I need suggestions on how to make Muraki show up! Even if it's only a flash back! (hey, there's an idea...) He's too good a baddy to stay out of this but he doesn't fit at all with the plot. (cries missing her Muraki )_**

**_Thanks to Taiyu, Aikawa Fuuko and firskey- You reviewed so quickly it made my head spin! _**

**_I still don't own anything; maybe my pants, cuz they were a gift, do they count? _**

**_Enjoy!_**

**A DEVIL'S THRILL **

It was heaven. Tsusuki had died and gone to heaven.

Yup, yup- he thought- heaven.

Sweets, everywhere in sight! All kinds and flavors! The amethyst eyes danced around the contains of the table, while Tsusuki, who certainly resembled a puppy, bounced up and down in sheer delight. Hijiri was such a good friend!!

Tatsumi watched with concern as the possibility of hyper-Tsusuki, hyper-Watari and hyper-Kazusa became a reality at an incredible speed.

The shadow master, the mad scientist, the boss, the puppy, the empath, the kid and the fiddler. Quite a group to be sitting around the same table. Hijiri had brought a few things to celebrate the reunion, taking special consideration to Tsusuki's tastes. It was a well deserved break; for once everyone enjoying time together without the ever present black cloud looming over them. And it would have been the perfect afternoon, with everyone chatting happily about trivialities, if it hadn't been for Hisoka feeling miserable.

Of course no one noticed. The boy simply acted as he always did, no reason to suspect something was amiss. But it's not everyday that you realise what a fool you've been, and that there's nothing you can do about it because you're so stuck on your inhibitions and fears to change.

All he could do was stare at Tsusuki from his concealed position at the table behind Konoe. It's all he'd be able to do from now on, he realised. Tsusuki and Hijiri chatting; Tsusuki and Hijiri joking and laughing; Tsusuki and Hijiri...Tsusuki and Hijiri...

Hijiri was a stupid name. Yes, very stupid! And who wants to be with a stuck up snob that likes classical music? He probably only talked about it. My violin this and that; this piece of music that I'm learning and blah blah blah and Hisoka wanted to punch him in the face.

Tsusuki looked happy.

At that very moment, the older man and the cause of everything that was wrong with his world...no, the second one, (wouldn't want to leave 'my name is stupid' Hijiri out) was giving the idiotic fiddler his best puppy eyes for his last bit of chocolate. Unable to take it any longer, Hisoka glanced at his plate; he hadn't touched his share of sweets, so he grabbed his piece of chocolate, stood up and threw it at Tsusuki right in the head with deathly accuracy.

"Here, you asshole! There's your chocolate, now knock it off!" he yelled.

A thick silence fell on the small crowd and everyone turned their eyes to Hisoka. The young man could only see the hurt on Tsusuki's, though. Still, the number one slacker of the Shonkan division smiled a little and took the piece of chocolate that had fell in front of him on the table.

"A...Arigatou." he whispered and begun eating it slowly, with shaky fingers.

Hisoka sat back down, utterly ashamed. What the hell was wrong with him? Just a moment ago he'd been thinking about how much of a bastard he'd been to his partner, only to bite his head off a second later! He wouldn't look up, but he could feel the angry stare coming from Hijiri. Why wouldn't Tsusuki like him better? Hijiri only went out of his way to make him feel good while all he did was abuse the poor man. Hisoka was a stupid name, Hijiri sounded better, he concluded with a weary sigh.

Everyone eventually went back to work with smiles on their faces. Such pleasant gatherings were very rare in Enmachou; particularly since Tatsumi refused to spend any money on edible food that wasn't absolutely justified.

Watari had been in cloud nine during the reunion, and hadn't seemed to find his way back down. He bounced up and down around Tatsumi, commenting on the afternoon's events, making Tatsumi recall a cartoon he'd seen a while back. There was this very serious, very kick-ass bulldog who had to put up with this puppy that followed him around like a disease asking over and over again "Can I be your friend?!" Inwardly he smiled, remembering how the bulldog had really cared for the puppy in the end. He shook himself from his meditation. Watari could make him think of the strangest things. His attention went back to the mad scientist's ramblings.

"...and then Hisoka throws that jealous tantrum. It would've been hilarious if Tsusuki hadn't taken it so personal." Watari paused, looking pensive, just to smile brightly a second later. "No! It's still funny!"

Tatsumi blinked in confusion.

"Jealous tantrum?"

Watari laughed wholeheartedly.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice! The 'here's your chocolate' fit?"

"Oh, that..." Tatsumi nodded, then frowned. "I don't think it was jealousy. Tsusuki was being a tad annoying; though I admit Hisoka can be very rude sometimes."

The scientist lowered his gaze with a knowing smile.

"Oh, trust me, it was jealousy. But who can blame him? Hijiri-kun and Tsusuki-san seemed very...'comfortable' in each other's company. Did you miss that too?"

There was an underlying meaning in that question, Tatsumi realized from Watari's tone and demeanor, but as much as he thought about it, he couldn't understand what was it Watari was trying to get at. He simply nodded and took off his glasses to clean them.

"No, I noticed, alright. I wonder what's up with that. Tsusuki can't possibly like Hijiri! He's the vivid image of Hisoka. It's just weird."

Watari looked saddened for a moment, then smiled.

"I don't see what's wrong with Tsusuki being happy for a change. Unless... It made you jealous too?"

The shadow master stopped dead on his tracks and took Watari's arm.

"Watari..." It wasn't so much as the words not being able to leave his mouth, but that he didn't have a clue of what he wanted to say, just that he wanted desperately to say something; something specific that his brain hadn't found out about yet.

When the blond scientist realized there wasn't a sentence following his name, he spoke; amusement concealing his disappointment fast.

"Cat got your tongue? Or maybe it was you having a flashback to last week?"

Tatsumi snorted, letting go of his friend's arm and fixed his glasses as he resumed his walk.

"I'll get you back some day for that one, Watari. Mark my words."

Watari pouted.

"But it was in the name of science!" He rushed after him. "Surely you can understand that Tatsumi!"

Tsusuki was the one who'd accompany Hijiri back to the world of the living; the young man had requested as much and the shinigami saw the opportunity to spend some time alone with his friend. He felt so grateful that Hijiri had provided a distraction from the hell his life had been the last few... decades.

It was just as they were about to leave the building that Hisoka caught up with them, panting after running to find them before they left. There was a tense moment of silence while the young man regained his breath. Tsusuki couldn't look at him in the face, but Hijiri didn't found any problem about doing so, showing all the venom he could while he was at it.

Hisoka stared back for a while, with an equal amount of dislike. Tsusuki didn't want them to start a fight so he thought he'd send Hisoka on his way as fast as he could. He smiled a friendly smile.

"What is it 'Soka? Do you need something from me before I go?"

The blond shook his head no, blushing slightly.

"No, no... actually..." He glanced at Tsusuki for a moment before averting his eyes again. "Could I speak with Hijiri for a moment?" he finished shyly.

Both Tsusuki and Hijiri couldn't hide their surprise, not only at the request but at Hisoka's weird behavior. The older man looked uncertainly at Hijiri, who shrugged.

"Why not?" he said without much emotion in his voice. Then he flashed a bright smile Tsusuki's way. "Wait for me here?"

Tsusuki nodded reluctantly and watched them both walking away. They didn't go far, just enough so he was out of ear shot, and Tsusuki was thankful for that. Every muscle on the young men bodies seemed to be tensed and it was obvious both wanted each other's throats. Tsusuki figured he could keep an eye on them without invading their privacy and he observed their gestures and movements to prevent any possible fist fight.

Hisoka seemed very angry. He was waving his finger indignantly at Hijiri, who seemed about to explode. Then it was Hijiri's turn to scold Hisoka. They weren't screaming so he couldn't hear what the discussion was about, but he figured it had something to do with the little scene Hisoka had thrown earlier that day. At least he figured that was Hijiri's reason to be angry; he couldn't possibly understand why Hisoka would be mad at his virtual twin. Hisoka didn't seem to respond to Hijiri's accusations the same way though. The blond man lowered his head, ashamed, and nodded. Tsusuki saw his lips move and Hijiri straighten in surprise. Tsusuki was getting very curious.

Hijiri was now laughing, if the shake of his shoulders was any indication, and Hisoka stared at him dumbfounded. The rest of the conversation seemed to go smoothly and Tsusuki soon lost interest, starting to get bored about having to wait for such a long time.

The shinigami was lost in counting the number of spider webs on the ceiling when he felt a hand on his shoulder and lowered his gaze to meet Hijiri's amused one.

"Ready to go?" The human asked smiling. Tsusuki nodded.

The older of the two waited until they were out of Meifuu to ask about their conversation; his curiosity had been renewed seeing Hijiri in such a good mood.

"So..." he tried to sound casual. "What were you two rambling about that I couldn't hear?"

Hijiri snorted.

"Well you, of course. Why else wouldn't you be able to hear?"

"Oh?" Tsusuki blinked, suddenly feeling very exposed.

Hijiri came very close to him and took his face in his hands.

"Don't be angry. You're a very interesting subject," he said with a suggestive tone.

"Hijiri..." Tsusuki whispered huskily. Those eyes...that face; and so much affection...

The boy leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

"Can I see you again? Soon?" Tsusuki nodded dazedly. Hijiri kissed his lips chastely and smiled. "Good. Then meet me here tomorrow around 5 p.m."

The young man let go of him and started to walk away. As soon as his brain began working again he called after him.

"Is that a date?!"

Hijiri turned around looking at him with a playful smile.

"Ask me tomorrow!" he yelled back, before running out of sight.

**_TBC _**

**_Time for Konnie-chan's contest! _**

**_There are three categories to win the big prize! _**

**_1) Tell how many exclamation marks there are in this chapter, including the author's note! (yeah, that one counts too.) _**

**_2) A prize to anyone who remembers the mentioned cartoon! _**

**_3) Anyone who reviews! _**

**_Ja ne! _**


	3. 3

A/N: Waaah! Waaah! People like my story!! *runs around like a maniac*  
  
There seems to be quite different opinions on who Tsusuki should be with in the end. I hope no one will hate me if it ends in a way you didn't like or expected? Please don't hate me?!! T-T  
  
Now onto the prizes.  
  
Serenity, of course you like Tsusuki! What's not to like!? You get an inu Tsusuki plushie for reviewing and, though you didn't get the number of exclamation marks right ( I counted 32 the first time, but the general opinion seems to be that they were actually 33 @_@) I still give you a plushie of your bishie of choice, just for the effort.  
  
Miyahara Yuuki, (love the name) I can't promise anything but neither can I deny it. You get an inu Tsusuki plushie and a Hisoka plushie, because you seem to want them desperately to be together.   
  
Same to Kyraille Fade. You get Tatsumi and Watari plushies! Yay, someone noticed those two after all!   
  
Kitsune: You also get an inu Tsusuki plushie, but only one because I promised extra prizes for the exclamation mark thingy.  
  
As for the cartoon; am I that old? I think it was a MGM or WB cartoon, one of those one shots that were so funny. The prize for that still stands unclaimed. A clue: the bulldog was wearing a red turtle neck (At least I think it was red; around those days I had a b&w TV and I used to assign colours to the different shades of grey. Later I found to be right most of the time, isn't that weird?!) (In case you're wondering; NO, I'm not *that* old, we were just too poor for a colour TV :P)  
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
Tic tac, tic tac, tic tac...  
  
As inaudible as the sound of his wrist watch's mechanism was, Tsusuki could still hear it. He was in a sort of trance, staring dumbly at the handles. He seemed to be waiting for a sudden move; some indication that the time was actually passing, other than the hypnotic tic tac.  
  
Amazing how slowly time can pass when you're waiting for something. If you considered Tsusuki'd lived 96 years and had an eternity ahead of him, those twenty minutes shouldn't have meant anything. And yet the long handle seemed to be stuck on the eight. It was 20 minutes until four, and it had been for at least half an hour, Tsusuki guessed.  
  
He'd like to say that he had thought he shouldn't go. It would have been nice to say he'd considered backing away; that he'd thought about how wrong it was for him to be waiting for his meeting with Hijiri, knowing what were the young man's intentions. Tsusuki shrugged; in all honesty, he hadn't.  
  
The little voice that was his conscience seemed to agree with him that he should stop thinking for once and let himself enjoy. Who cared if Hijiri looked exactly like Hisoka? Yes, he had feelings for his partner, but the young man hated him. And Hijiri was an entire different person; a person he liked by his own merits. Why shouldn't he give the boy a chance?  
  
No, Tsusuki didn't feel guilty or doubtful; in fact, he felt a quite anxious to see where this would lead to; exited about the possibilities. It had been so long since he'd had something to wait for; something that made his days to be more than a simple succession of wasted time.   
  
*stomp* *stomp* *stomp*  
  
Hisoka watched with amazement as Tsusuki paced around the office, his eyes fixated on his watch and, if he had to bet on it, matching his loud footsteps with each passing second.  
  
It was making him nervous, to say the least. Not only he had his own reasons to be nervous, with his and Hijiri's conversation still fresh in his mind; and not also because of the anxiety that he was picking from Tsusuki; the worse were those damned synchronized footsteps!   
  
Still, though he needed to say something to stop his partner from driving him mad, he took a few deep breaths to do so calmly and keep his temper on a leash. After all, he'd agreed with Hijiri to allow him to do this because he wanted nothing more than Tsusuki's happiness; at the same time making a resolve to treat the older man better. He wondered though, if he should let it happen. Would he be able to endure a love sick Tsusuki? Specially when the object of his partner's affection wasn't him?  
  
"Tsusuki..." he said wearily. The older shinigami stopped his pacing and looked at him. The amethyst eyes were dancing like mad; a perfect mirror of their owner state of mind.  
  
"Huh?" Tsusuki answered stupidly. Hisoka sighed.  
  
"You're making me nervous. Why don't you sit down? I promise you, you'll be out of here before you know it."  
  
With a sheepish smile, Tsusuki sat on his desk, his hands fidgeting.   
  
"I'm sorry. It's just...It's been a long day and I want to get home fast."  
  
Oh yeah, Tsusuki hadn't mentioned that he was meeting Hijiri. Hisoka didn't want to be, but he was angry that the older man couldn't trust him enough to tell him. He probably expected Hisoka to mock him or be cruel to him about it in some way. It was clear that was what Tsusuki thought of him. But he wasn't supposed to know about the meeting, so he couldn't call him on the lie. Telling Tsusuki he knew would eventually result on him confessing what he'd discussed with Hijiri, as well as his feelings.   
  
"And you may want to consider keeping your emotions in check..." Hisoka added, not looking at his partner, "You're spreading them around like candy."  
  
Tsusuki tensed. How much of his emotions had Hisoka picked up on? The thought of Hisoka knowing what he was about to do- though he wasn't sure of what that was exactly- sent shivers down his spine. 'Get a hold of yourself, baka!' he thought, 'It's not like you're cheating on him or something; besides, he can't read your mind.'  
  
"So..." Tsusuki's fidgeting worsened; Hisoka rose his eyes from the files. "...uhm...You know Hisoka..."  
  
"Yes?" Hisoka was expectant. Would he tell him? Probably not.  
  
"You and Hijiri..." Tsusuki laughed nervously. "What did you guys talked about yesterday?"   
  
'Dam!' , Hisoka looked around the room as if a good excuse would appear written on one of the walls or something, 'Think; quick!'  
  
"Why do you want to know?" stalling, good strategy. Unless of course the question sounded like you were hiding something, which it did.  
  
"Oh, it's nothing..." Tsusuki shrugged, "...Hijiri mentioned something, but he wasn't specific, and since you two didn't seem on the best of terms yesterday, I thought..."  
  
"What? What did you think?" Hisoka said in a rush, being a bit too aggressive. "If he didn't tell you then it's not my place to tell you, is it? Besides, what do you care if we don't get along, huh?"  
  
Tsusuki winced and Hisoka mentally kicked himself for being so impulsive. No, make that, beat the crap out of himself.   
  
"Hisoka, I know that you don't like me, but Hijiri is a good man and I'd hate for you to have a negative impression of him because of me. That's all."  
  
Tsusuki's tone was something Hisoka wasn't ready for, even when he'd heard it so many times before. Tsusuki didn't seem angry with him for not liking him, as he'd said. The brunette seemed resigned about it, almost as if he agreed he shouldn't be liked. Hisoka wanted to run to the other man and hug him; just show him how wrong he was; tell him that all his aggressions came out of him not knowing what to do with the feelings he had for him. Never in his life Hisoka had cared for someone as much as he did for Tsusuki. It wasn't that surprising after all; he grew up being treated like a monster by his own parents; kept away from the rest of the world and, when he finally had contact with the outside, it had been with the person that would rape him and condemn him to spend the rest of his life in a hospital room.   
  
How could Tsusuki really believe he despised him? Did he not realise, after all they'd gone through together, that there wasn't anyone else in his life?  
  
Hisoka found he didn't have it in him to answer his partner's statement. He just couldn't say it; so he rose from his sit violently and left the office, mumbling 'baka' on his way out.   
  
-----------------------------  
  
*knock* *knock*  
  
Watari jumped in surprise at the unexpected noise. 003 seemed equally disturbed, batting her wings nervously for a few seconds. As many friends that he had, the scientist would find himself to be alone most of the time, company was something he treasured but always surprised him; at least during working hours.   
  
"Come in!" he tried to sound detached; not to show how giddy it made him the idea of talking with someone who could actually reply. 003 was nice enough, but you can only talk to your owl so much.   
  
Tatsumi poked his head in.  
  
"Busy?"  
  
Watari shrugged and shook his head no with a smile.  
  
"Not really. I was transferring some of the old files into the computer. If they waited a hundred years, they can wait a little longer."   
  
The shadow master walked in then, taking a sit next to Watari.  
  
"Oh, I thought you were busy. It's 4:30, you should've gone home by now."  
  
Watari raised his eyebrows in surprise and glanced at his watch.  
  
"Oh, darn! I didn't realise. I would leave my head behind if it wasn't attached to my body."  
  
Tatsumi smirked.  
  
"Well, I'm not paying you extra hours, if that was your plan."  
  
"Ha, ha. Like you'd ever pay extra anything, you cheap bastard." Watari's tone was more playful than scolding, so Tatsumi didn't take it as an insult. Instead, he looked around for a moment and sighed.  
  
"Wanna go catch something to eat?" he said casually. If Tatsumi had been able to show any emotion on his face though, he guessed his face muscles would have been twitching madly.   
  
"Let me guess,..." Watari smiled smugly. "You're starving and you hope I pay for your food?"  
  
In any other circumstance, with any other person- though he'd never show it- Tatsumi would have felt offended by the implications. But Watari was different. He didn't mind Tatsumi being careful with money- because that's what he was; he was not cheap!-, the scientist simply accepted it as a part of his personality. Of course, always as long as it didn't concern his own pay check; then he'd mind.   
  
Tatsumi smiled sheepishly.  
  
"You caught me. Still, you wanna?"  
  
Watari stood up, dusting off his white lab coat.  
  
"But of course! I'm desperately bored here, since *someone* won't let me carry my life and after life's ambition because he's a bit sensitive about being a pet for a day."  
  
The shadow master mentally smiled. He wouldn't say anything now, but one of the reasons he wanted to have dinner with Watari was to inform him that his time was done and he was free again. Yes, that was the reason!  
  
They left the lab and started going through the halls in silence. Tatsumi felt good in the blond's company; Watari had always been a good friend and recently- maybe because an after life of being alone can be a bit tiring- he found himself looking to spend more and more time with the genki scientist. He really didn't know why he hadn't done that before; his days were a lot more bearable since he did.   
  
They were going through the main hall when Hisoka rushed past them, bumping into Watari and nearly knocking him off his feet. Luckily for both of them, Tatsumi was there to catch him.  
  
"Sumimasen!!*" The young man yelled and disappeared from sight.  
  
The two shinigamis stared at the place where the young man had been a few seconds before for a few moments, until Watari realised that Tatsumi was still holding him and blushed furiously, pulling away.   
  
"Are you ok?" Tatsumi asked, just a bit of concern seeping through his voice. Watari nodded. "I'm going to give that boy a piece of my mind tomorrow. What does he think this is? Kinder garden?"   
  
Watari waved him off.  
  
"He seemed in a hurry. He probably didn't see me, it's no biggy. Besides, I feel sorry for him. Go easy on the boy."  
  
"Sorry? Why do you feel sorry for him?" Tatsumi asked curiously.   
  
"Well, I don't know if I should..." Watari seemed hesitant, which made Tatsumi even more curious.   
  
"What? Did something happen?"  
  
"Well, yeah. Tsusuki came to ask me for advice earlier today. It seems he and Hijiri had a date today."  
  
The shadow master blinked a few times, shocked.  
  
"Oh." he blinked a few more times, as if to make a point that he was truly, utterly, surprised. "Oh." he repeated.  
  
Watari shrugged and started walking again.  
  
"I can't blame him. Hisoka couldn't expect him to wait forever, you know?"  
  
"Oh?" Ok, Tatsumi, you know you're more verbal than this!  
  
"Tsusuki isn't the kind that would get tired of waiting, mind you. If Hisoka gave him the slightest hint that he stood a chance, he'd wait for eternity for the boy to make up his mind; but Tsusuki is sure Hisoka hates his guts." Watari got a sad smile on his face and lowered his head. "Maybe it's for the best that he thinks that. It wouldn't be nice for him to always wonder if those things he sees as hints are nothing more than a product of his imagination. At least this way he can find happiness elsewhere."  
  
Tatsumi frowned. The last bit seemed to mean more than what it sounded like. Was it directed to him? That didn't make sense. He wasn't leading Tsusuki on, was he? Sure, he'd been in love with his ex-partner for a while, and still cared deeply for him, but that was it. He shrugged it off as reading more to it than what it was.  
  
"You seem to be convinced that Hisoka loves Tsusuki. I must admit that coming from you it must be true; you're a good judge of character most of the time; but honestly, I don't see it."  
  
Watari smiled tenderly at him; Tatsumi felt butterflies doign a rave parade in his stomach, but he couldn't understand why.  
  
"It's just like you to miss those things. One of this days, Tatsumi, love's gonna smack you in the face and you won't know what hit you; literally."  
  
----------------------  
  
"What do you want to do now?" Hijiri took Tsusuki's hand and led him through the crowd as they left the restaurant.   
  
Maybe it had been the delicious food; maybe it had been the sake; maybe it was the beautiful young man affectionally holding his hand; Tsusuki felt high. All the noises around them were reduced to a faint murmur, the faces seemed blurry and his brain had as much power of reaction as a log.   
  
"Uh...I don't know..."  
  
"Wanna go catch a movie?" Hijiri asked cheerfully.   
  
"Ok." Tsusuki answered dazedly.   
  
By the time he'd regained his senses, both of them where sitting in the darkened cinema, holding hands. What movie were they watching, Tsusuki didn't know, nor he cared. All he could see were those beautiful green eyes, filled with glee, that more often than not were staring at him instead of the screen.   
  
No, he hadn't doubted; but now he was absolutely sure this was the right thing to do. Never had it felt so good to be by Hijiri's side; so right. Tsusuki knew it was because now he didn't have to wonder about what it meant. Hijiri had made it obvious, even though without words, that his interests weren't platonic. It was immensely liberating not having to speculate and get your hopes up for something that probably wouldn't come. Hijiri liked *him*; wanted *him*, and just that was enough to make his heart swell. The young fiddler might have been a bad judge of character, but he wouldn't let this opportunity pass. He'd try to better himself, be the best for this beautiful, warm human that seemed to love him.   
  
Somewhere along the line, Hijiri rested his head on Tsusuki's shoulder and the shinigami took the chance to encircle the boy's body with one arm, pulling him even closer.  
  
"So..." he whispered in Hijiri's ear. "Is this a date?" he finished with a smile on his face.   
  
Hijiri looked up and into his eyes. After contemplating him for a few moments he leaned over and kissed him sweetly. This time he'd been ready for it; he'd waited to do that the entire evening, and Tsusuki didn't waste time in responding. Their lips melted together for what it seemed like an eternity. The boy tasted heavenly. Tsusuki hadn't kissed anyone in so long, he was afraid to be doing everything wrong; but Hijiri's approving, soft moans drove the doubts out of his mind.   
  
The little voice that was his concience didn't seem to notice that he'd closed his eyes; not to enjoy the kiss further, but to avoid getting a glimpse of black hair.  
  
TBC  
  
* Sumimasen: I'm sorry.   
  
Gomen people, I have to try and use this expresions whenever I can, so I won't forget them, and my mom looks at me funny when I talk to her in Japanese.  
  
Time for a Konnie-chan Contest!  
  
If you don't like bishie plushies suggest a prize. (not money ^.^)  
  
1)Tell me what the hell 'bon' means (cuz it's not Japanese, unless Watari is calling Hisoka a mediocre, I think), why Watari calls Hisoka that in every fic and if I should use it too. (if it's an anime thing, tell me, I haven't watched the anime. If it is in the manga and I've missed it, humour me and just ignore the question so I don't feel stupid)  
  
2) I need to know if Watari's age is mentioned in the manga. It's important!  
  
3) Of course anyone who reviews gets a prize :*  
  
A bit of curious information: Tatsumi means southeast, Watari means ferry. Watatsumi means sea. Think about it, one name is a direction, the other is a mean of transportation, and together they make what could be a destination.^-^  
  
Ja ne! 


	4. 4

A/N: *stands up straight and very, very dignified* I do not intend to sound completely pathetic, but this would be the first time I've gotten so many reviews in so little chapters. *clears her throat* YAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! -  
  
I wrote this twice- hence, the delay, gomen!- the first version of this chapter was a lot shorter and nothing really happened, so I threw it away and started it all over again this morning. This chappy has a weird dynamic, I love it! I had lots of fun writing it. I hope you like it too!  
  
Check the bottom for the prizes because this is getting long! *huff* So many reviewers!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
The door to his lab creaked when he opened it; Watari winced. 003 batted her wings in greeting; Watari winced. The chair squealed when he pulled it to sit on it; Watari winced. His head made a loud thump when it fell on his folded arms; Watari groaned.  
  
"Bad, bad sake!" he whined.  
  
003 flew by his side and stared at him in concern.  
  
"Don't breathe so loud...onegai."  
  
This was all Tatsumi's fault. What would compel the shadow master to give him such good news when he was near liquor?!  
  
Watari's head throbbed; his mouth had this funny taste in it and his mind was foggy. He couldn't remember much after Tatsumi told him he could carry on with his investigation. There were some flashes of memories he was hoping were a product of his imagination.   
  
Watari groping Tatsumi; Watari telling Tatsumi that he loved him; Tatsumi carrying him like a bride through the threshold all the way to his apartment; Tatsumi helping him undress...  
  
Watari blushed. 003 looked at him curiously and he frowned.  
  
"Too bad I can't remember the part when he took advantage of my inebriated state." he mumbled.  
  
"Who now?" came a cheery voice from behind him, and Watari jumped, making a very undignified landing on his behind.  
  
"Waaaaaaaaah!" was his very eloquent response to the intruder, who happened to be Tsusuki. The dark haired man jumped in surprise at this and he too fell backwards, but his fall was stopped by the door.  
  
"Waah! What are you yelling for?!" Tsusuki whined.  
  
"You scared me! And don't scream so loudly please!" Watari winced at the sound of his own voice.  
  
"Gomen..." he whispered, taking Watari's hand to help him up. "Daijobu?"  
  
"Daijobu desu. Just hung over..." the scientist stood up and fixed his glasses with a sigh. "Ohayou, Tsusuki."  
  
"Ohayou."   
  
Watari took a sit back on his chair, while Tsusuki occupied the desk. The older man's feet hung losely, balancing back and forward like a child's would. Watari noted the smile on his friend's face and smiled as well.  
  
"I take it you had fun last night?" he said with a knowing look.  
  
"Apparently not more than you." Tsusuki retorted amusedly. Watari just groaned. Then inu Tsusuki made his appearance. "But yeah! It was great! We went to this restaurant that had all this tasty delicacies; and the deserts! It was glorious. Then we went to the movies, but I can't remember what we saw...er...never mind. And then we just took a walk, you know? Talked a bit. Then we just sat under a tree on the park and, you know...It didn't feel like a first date at all!" he didn't stop to breathe once; by the time he ended his speech, his face was turning from red too blue.  
  
"That's wonderful, Tsusuki." Watari said somewhat detachedly. He then glanced at him suspiciously. "Have you told Hisoka?"  
  
"Told Hisoka what?!" Tsusuki jumped defensively. Watari placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at him menacingly.  
  
"*Do-Not-Yell*."  
  
"Gomen..."  
  
"I was asking if you've told Hisoka that you're seeing Hijiri, that's all."  
  
Tsusuki looked down, embarrassed.  
  
"No. But I don't know what business is of him anyway." he finished rather childishly. Watari waved a finger in front of his face.  
  
"What I don't know is why you have to go around hiding something so important to you to your partner and friend if it's non of his concern. I'm sure he'll be happy for you."  
  
'Of course he won't' Watari thought, 'but if someone doesn't help you two, you'll end up in a lot of pain.'  
  
Tsusuki sighed.  
  
"Is he, though? My friend, that is."  
  
Watari frowned. He had to refrain himself from smacking the baka on the head.  
  
"Of course he is!" he said a bit too loudly for his taste and winced yet again. "He may not show it, but he cares a lot about you. Don't be so selfish, Tsusuki." he ended with a scold.   
  
Tsusuki got that lost puppy expression on his face; eyes shimmering and all.  
  
"Selfish? Me? Why?" he whined.   
  
"Look,..." Watari sighed, "I know how insecure you get about other people's feelings towards you. I understand. But you can't ignore the fact that Hisoka has been through hell and back; it's really hard for him to show affection like the rest of us. Don't judge him so quickly."  
  
"You may be right..." Tsusuki stood up and avoided looking at Watari's face. "But I do know how he feels about me."  
  
The lab door closed behind the older shinigami and Watari buried his face on his folded arms again in frustration.  
  
-------------------  
  
His friend. Pffffffffff  
  
Hisoka wasn't his friend. Why would he be his friend?   
  
Tatsumi and Watari were just used to him; they were too kind. Hijiri was plain crazy -not that he minded-. But Hisoka could feel what he felt. He saw him for what he really was. He could never be his friend.   
  
Though Watari had been right about something. He had to tell Hisoka about Hijiri. Just this morning he'd gone straight to Watari's lab to avoid his partner because he felt guilty. He wouldn't be able to look at the young man in the face ever again if he was hiding something like that. At least if he told him, though Hisoka would despise him even further, he wouldn't get that feeling that he was doing something wrong every time he was thinking about Hijiri and Hisoka entered his thoughts; which was often.  
  
Besides, the night before had been beyond wonderful. He felt warm inside just at the memory. There was nothing wrong with seeking a bit of company; easing his pain a little; which was exactly what Hijiri was doing for him. The night before not once he'd felt like a scum. Hijiri made him feel worthy; even if it was an illusion.  
  
If he was forced to stay here; living against his most deep wishes, he'd cling to every illusion of happiness that came his way.  
  
He poked his head inside his office, to see if his partner had already arrived. In fact he had, and wasn't looking that good. Hisoka was sitting on his desk, looking out the window with a faraway expression. Tsusuki got the impression that the boy was incredibly sad, and his heart throbbed. 'How I wish you'd let me help you', he thought, remembering then that he was a mess and couldn't help anyone; not even himself.   
  
"Ohayou, Hisoka-chan." Tsusuki said timidly.  
  
The young man shook himself from whatever he was thinking of and looked at him confusedly for a moment.  
  
"Ohayou."  
  
"I'm late, as usual." Tsusuki joked a little, letting out a nervous laugh.  
  
"I didn't notice." Hisoka whispered.  
  
Tsusuki frowned and approached the younger man carefully.  
  
"Are you ok, 'Soka-chan?"  
  
"Uhm?" Hisoka shook his head. "I'm ok."  
  
"Can...can I talk to you about something?" Tsusuki thought he'd seize the opportunity. Hisoka didn't seem to be paying attention to him. He could tell him, Hisoka wouldn't bite his head off and all would be well.  
  
"What?" Hisoka said softly, focusing his gaze back into the void.  
  
"Well...you see...Hijiri...remember Hijiri? Er...he and I, you see..." Good Tsusuki, really smooth. "HijiriandIareseeingeachother!" he rushed and looked down, preparing himself for a blow that never came.  
  
"I'm happy for you both." Hisoka whispered back and stood up, leaving the office without another word.  
  
Tsusuki stared at him in wonder and concern, debating on whether he should go after him and make sure he was alright. His fears won though, and he staid behind with an eerie feeling on the pit of his stomach.  
  
-------------------  
  
The world had a surreal aura about it that morning. Hisoka, the empath, for the first in his life- and his after life- felt empty of all emotions.   
  
He knew it wouldn't last. It was just like when you too cut deep and don't feel any pain. The damage is there, but the shock is too great so your nerves shut down. That was it. He was in shock.  
  
Too many emotions that had overwhelmed him and now he walked in a daze; he was there, but really wasn't. Everything felt in slow motion and nothing seemed real.  
  
He wondered curiously why, if he wasn't feeling anything, his eyes were stinging with unshed tears. They weren't grief tears, he realised. It was his body's way of telling him that all those emotions he wasn't feeling but were non-the-less there, had to come out somehow.   
  
To top it all, he was incredibly sleepy. He hadn't been able to sleep. Not the night before.   
  
When Tsusuki told him about his relationship with Hijiri though, something threatened to brake inside of him. Afraid that he'd brake down in front of the oblivious shinigami, he left the office and begun wandering through the emptied halls of the Shonkan division building.   
  
That shadow of emotion kept growing inside of him and he started to feel out of breath. For some reason he begun quickening his pace, as if wanting to run away from some invisible monster. And that, summed to the fact that his eyes were unfocused and his sight blurry with tears, was why he didn't see the person walking towards him until it was too late.  
  
The first thing he felt was something cold and sticky spilling all over his clothes; then he saw someone falling on his back and heard the sound of glass braking. He himself fell to the ground too, but made not attempt of getting up or move in the slightest.  
  
"Kuso!" he heard a familiar voice yell, with an unfamiliar hint of emotion in it. "Hisoka-chan! What's gotten into you? Are you making a sport out of knocking people of their feet now?!" Tatsumi's angry tone seemed to trigger something in him; Hisoka looked at the shadow master for a few seconds before bursting out in tears. "Hisoka?" Now the tone was softer, filled with concern. "Hisoka-chan, what's wrong?"  
  
Tatsumi moved to kneel next to the young man, putting an arm around his shoulders that were shaking with sobs. Hisoka couldn't stop himself; he just buried his face on Tatsumi's chest. The shadow master said nothing about his now ruined suit, he just hugged the young man tight and rubbed his back in circles to soothe him.  
  
"Shhh...it's ok...let it all out..."  
  
"I...I'm sorry!" Hisoka cried.  
  
Tatsumi staid by his side until the sobs subsided, whispering words of reassurance. Hisoka figured he must have really looked a mess to get the older man's sympathy. Eventually, hiccupping and with his face all red and humid, Hisoka pulled away.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tatsumi-san...I don't...I..."  
  
Tatsumi shook his head and waved him off.  
  
"It's ok. I can see you don't feel well so, just for today, why don't you go back home and rest? You need to change your clothes anyway; I spilled orange juice all over them."  
  
Hisoka nodded and stood up. He thought he saw a hint of a smile on the older man's face. He was eternally grateful that he hadn't asked about what had caused his outburst; he didn't think he could talk about it without braking down again.   
  
"I'm so sorry." he whispered. Tatsumi stood up and patted his back.  
  
"Go now. I'll tell your partner that you're ill, ok?"  
  
"Ok, thank you."  
  
Incredibly enough, he felt better. The pressure on his chest was gone and he could think more clearly now. He had to keep his head clear. This kind of behaviour endangered all his resolves and he had to keep himself together.  
  
For a long time all he'd felt was a desire for revenge. His reason to become a shinigami had been seeing Muraki dead. Now his reason for living was Tsusuki; Tsusuki's happiness beyond his own. Even if it hurt like hell, he'd see to it that Tsusuki was happy. Even if it wasn't him the one Tsusuki loved.  
  
--------------------  
  
Wearing a new suit and carrying a new glass of orange juice, Tatsumi left Tsusuki's office after informing him that his partner had left for the day.   
  
He'd seen Tsusuki's concerned look. How blind can two people be? Surely it wasn't that hard to see that someone loved you, less alone that you loved someone? He thought he heard someone laughing at him, but he shrugged it off.  
  
Resolved to carry on with his mission, Tatsumi made his way to Watari's lab feeling unusually cheery. The night before they'd had a great time, until Watari passed out from drunkenness, that is. He'd drank a bit too, though never enough to lose control over himself. But the scientist drank to celebrate the same way he did everything; with a healthy share of enthusiasm.   
  
Tatsumi smiled wickedly. Now he had a few things on his side to tease Watari 'til the end of time.  
  
He knocked on the door softly and heard a muffled 'come in', so he did.  
  
Watari was sitting limply on his chair, arms folded on his desk and head buried between them. All Tatsumi could see of his friend was a mass of dishelved blond hair and a wrinkled white lab coat.  
  
"Konnichi wa, Watari." he said amusedly.   
  
The scientist lifted his head and looked at him with venom.  
  
"*Your-Fault.*" he spat before letting his head drop again.  
  
"Awww, c'mon!" he patted his friend's back. "It was fun."  
  
"Sure it was, for you!" Watari sat straight then, looking miserable. "I finally get the chance to keep researching and I can't even hold a test tube without dropping it!"   
  
"I didn't force that bottle of sake down your throat, did I?" Tatsumi sat next to Watari on his desk and handed the glass to the scientist. "Here, drink this. It'll make you feel better."  
  
"You're so mean." Watari took the glass form him and downed the contents greedily.  
  
"You didn't think that about me last night." Tatsumi smirked.  
  
Watari blushed furiously.   
  
"You pervert!" he said, mock indignation, "Getting me drunk to take advantage of poor, innocent me, ne? I'm sure you enjoyed undressing me!"   
  
The shadow master felt his cheeks starting to burn slightly.  
  
"In any case it was the other way around! You were the one doing all the groping!" Tatsumi noted that his tone had gotten a tad defensive. "I'm never taking you out again! I'd expected something like this from Tsusuki, but you? You're a danger near alcohol!"  
  
Watari's eyes shimmered.  
  
"You're never taking me out again? After all we'd been through? What was I, a one night stand?"  
  
Really frustrated now, Tatsumi stood up and begun pacing the room.  
  
"Nothing happened!"  
  
Watari snorted.  
  
"Pfffff! Don't I know it! And now I can't even do my experiments. All that work in getting myself all drunk and vulnerable, for nothing!" he said, sounding regretful.  
  
Realising he was being teased, Tatsumi took a deep breath and sat back down.  
  
"Really, Watari..." he said wearily, with a smile on his face. "What's your obsession with that stupid formula anyway? You can do that tomorrow."  
  
"You don't understand." the scientist whined.  
  
"No, I don't. Why don't you explain it to me?"  
  
Tatsumi noticed that Watari's entire demeanour changed in an instant. The genki blond got a faraway look on his face and sighed sadly.  
  
"When I was alive..." he begun, his tone making it clear that what he was saying was very important to him. "...I always felt awkward. You'll laugh but, I didn't feel like I'd gotten the body I was supposed to have...you know what I mean?" there was a slight blush on his cheeks. Tatsumi nodded. "In those days you couldn't...you know...change. I got this idea in my head and...It seems silly to stop trying now. Don't you think?"  
  
"You feel like...like a...you want to be a woman?" Tatsumi was really shocked, seeing his friend showing so much insecurity about his person. Watari was supposed to be extra confident, wasn't he?  
  
Watari shook his head no.  
  
"It's not really that I'm a man; I'm used to it by now. But...I just want people to see me and...I don't know...see *me*. Do I make sense?"  
  
Tatsumi nodded dazedly. He didn't fought the urge to cup his friend's cheek. Watari watched him wide-eyed.  
  
"Don't ever change. Please?" Tatsumi said with a shaky voice.  
  
"Tatsumi?" the scientist whispered as Tatsumi leaned closer to him.  
  
"Never; never change." he said softly before covering Watari's lips with his own.  
  
TBC  
  
Mwahahaha! Evil cliff-hanger! :)  
  
Denial is not just a river in Egypt, ne? Don't worry, this is about to get interesting...maybe...heh heh heh-  
  
Time for a Konnie-chan poll! (yeah, poll; not contest, but you still get prizes)  
  
1) I'm planning to introduce a certain citrus element, maybe next chapter, maybe not. Forget about lemon; I do not do lemon. But I don't really know what's considered lime. I'm thinking it'll be more of an orange or a tangerine. But if you don't want that, I won't do it.* Tell me what you want! What you really, really want!*  
  
2) Do you want to tell me who's gonna get Tsusuki in the end? If the answer is no by a majority, then you can always e-mail me, and I'll tell you. What I won't tell you is how H one or two will get Tsusuki. I want you to read 'til the end! @-@   
  
3) Should I keep giving prizes to those who review? heh heh heh  
  
Onto the prizes:   
  
First of all, to Aikawa Fuuko. GOMEN NASAI!!! I swear on my little bird's grave that ff.net didn't send me an e-mail with your review!!! *cries* Please forgive me!!!! You get one inu Tsusuki plushie for the exclamation marks, one Hisoka plushie just for reviewing, and Watari cookies because I forgot about you. Don't hate me!! Please! T-T  
  
Kirei aya, I didn't forget about you, your review for ch.2 came just after I'd posted chapter three. You get an inu Tsusuki plushie for that one. And for your review of ch.3 you get a plushie of your bishie of choice as well as Watari cookies. They're extra sweet! @-@ *looks inside the plushie basket* I'm running out of plushies!  
  
Miyahara Yuuki: *blinks* What black hair? *blinks* HIJIRI'S! (now is when I get a hundred reviews telling me Hijiri doesn't really have black hair, but dark brown. Though no one seemed to notice when I said Tsusuki had black hair...) About the Japanese thingy, I know, I know *cries* but I swear I read Watari meant ferry, then I found another definition that said it meant to travel over sea or river. See? I wasn't that far off. And umi means sea, but Watatsumi too, I think. Do you want Watari and Tatsumi plushies? They come with 003 as an extra! Btw, my mom also teases me; for some 'non-racist' reason (not sarcasm here, my mom is just weird), she doesn't like Japanese stuff- she says she doesn't understand them*shrugs*- and she says I'm doing it just to piss her off.  
  
Miko, for a moment there I thought you were flaming me *cries* I'm too sensitive, I know. Still, I'm glad you like the story. You get a Watari plushie (you'll have to review again to get Tatsumi ^-^) . And don't think I haven't thought about that too! It's all coming, just wait and see!  
  
Serenity, *bats Serenity's hands away from the plushie basket* Thank you for reviewing ch.2 twice but no, I won't give you four plushies for one chapter! *gets a Tatsumi expression* You greedy, you. Still, since you reviewed chapter three, you get a Hijiri plushie! OH, don't look at me like that...ok, ok...and Hijiri cookies so you stop crying for your favourite fiddler.  
  
Suzaku1; Doomo arigato gozaimasu!!!! *-*, I really needed that. I should have asked what year was he born in. TY. Lemme see...*looks into her plushie basket* *rustle-rustle* One inu Tsusuki plushie for you...*rustle* one Hisoka plushie and...*rustle* oh, do you want Watari cookies? If you want something else, we can work it out.  
  
An inu Tsusuki for Dib. I also needed his age (that's what I asked for, lol, baka no Konnie!), so thank you very much to you too. And also a Hisoka plushie just for reviewing.  
  
Last but not least, A Muraki plushie for Nakkie! I've been asking how to get Muraki fit into all of this, and you just gave me an idea!  
  
@-@ *looks at her empty basket* Oh darn...I'll have to start cooking!  
  
Did I forget someone this time? 


	5. 5

A/N: *sniff* *sniff* FF.net is so mean! Waaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaah! I thought last chapter sucked, because no one was reviewing it, and though I'm real obsessed with reviews, and though I'm not used to getting so many, you spoiled me and I wanted tons of reviews right away! But eight hours after I'd posted it, I had only one review!! *sniff* Lucky for you I went to check if maybe ff.net had done something with all my precious, precious reviews! And it had! Because the new chapter didn't show! Stupid, stupid FF.net! No one new I had updated! Waaaaaaaaah!  
  
Ok, calmer now. No, don't worry, this ain't turning Watari/Tatsumi exclusively. I had to start the chappy with those two, I guess you'll understand that. But I thought I'd make it clear. This is Tsusuki/Hisoka, Tsusuki/Hijiri, Tatsumi/Watari...meaning, they all get almost as much screen time each.  
  
Prizes at the bottom- *-*  
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
This certainly couldn't be happening!   
  
No matter that his brain was numb and overwhelmed with sensations, Watari was baffled. He'd planned, schemed and calculated every step of the way to get Tatsumi and now the shadow master goes and ruins his plans completely with an unexpected kiss!! Why couldn't his calculations ever be correct?! The scientist in him whined.   
  
'And quite a nice kiss too...' he thought dazedly.  
  
It wasn't really passionate, nor bold. Tatsumi was merely brushing his lips with his and, after pulling him off his seat, embracing him tightly. It was a lazy, exploring kiss. Another thing Watari hadn't expected.  
  
But he wasn't about to remember all the fantasies he'd had about Tatsumi ravishing him right at that moment. He had to play along and getting all hot and bothered would only scare Tatsumi away. Watari just dedicated that time to storage everything he was feeling. Tatsumi's strong lips; his strong, masculine body pressed against him; his strong hands on his back that were travelling lower and lower...  
  
Tatsumi's mind was blank. His brain had completely shut down and all he could do was feel. And feel good at that. He hadn't felt that good in so long!  
  
No matter how much he tried, he couldn't pull Watari close enough to him so he'd be content. The slim, delicate form of his friend urged to be touched, caressed and explored. He couldn't get enough of those soft, full lips so expertly moving against his own. And that hair...the scent of it was enough to drive him insane, but it was also so soft and silky.  
  
Tatsumi begun trailing those beautiful golden locks with his fingers, from the base of Watari's neck and down, realising with joy that the strands of hair had led his hands into the small of Watari's back. That little curve of his friend's body served to pull him even closer.  
  
He wanted to deepen the kiss, but just as it was it felt so good he was afraid he'd never feel that again, so he couldn't find it in him to change it.   
  
The kiss seemed to go on for hours, but it was actually just a few seconds. There was a soft knock on the door and they broke the kiss reluctantly. They didn't pay attention to the interruption. Tatsumi rested his forehead on Watari's, looking directly into the beautiful hazel eyes.  
  
"Tatsumi..." the scientist whispered with a soft smile forming on his lips.   
  
The man in question seemed to be in a trance. His hands were still resting on Watari's back, caressing in slow, hypnotic circles.  
  
The knock was heard again, this time louder.  
  
"Watari?! Are you in there?"  
  
The sound of Tsusuki's voice had a strange effect on Tatsumi, who pulled away rather violently and looked down, nervously fixing his suit.  
  
"You should get that." he said, hiding any emotions on his voice.  
  
Watari stared at him in confusion for a few moments, then sighed in defeat.   
  
"Tatsumi?" was all he could say; inwardly he thought, 'I should have known it wouldn't be this easy.'  
  
"Come in Tsusuki!" the shadow master called, and the number one slacker of the Shonkan division walked in, eyeing them both curiously.  
  
"Am I interrupting something?"  
  
"No. no. Of course not." Tatsumi answered nervously. Watari could just stare at him.  
  
Tsusuki realised something was going on, but he also knew it wasn't his business. He just cleared his throat and, after glancing from one to the other suspiciously for a few seconds he turned to Tatsumi.   
  
"I was actually looking for you, Tatsumi. Konoe said you'd be here. I'm taking the rest of the day off. Hisoka isn't here and..."  
  
Tatsumi rushed to the door avoiding to make eye contact with either of them.  
  
"Yeah, ok. Have fun." he mumbled on his way out.   
  
Tsusuki stared at the door in disbelief. Why wasn't Tatsumi scolding him for being lazy? Why had he left as if he had a contagious disease? Why was Watari sighing sadly every two seconds?  
  
"What was that all about?"  
  
Watari sat back on his chair, frowning. He looked pensive, as if there was this really hard mathematic equation he couldn't solve.  
  
"Uhm...I don't feel so well Tsusuki. We'll talk later, ne?"  
  
The dark haired shinigami nodded uncertainly. He would have been worried about the genki blonde at that comment, but he really didn't look ill or upset; just disconcerted.  
  
Tsusuki buried his hands on his pockets and left his friend alone in the lab. Well, not alone, exactly. 003 was there, but the owl looked a little absent and curiously blushed when he'd seen her a moment ago.  
  
--------------------------  
  
It's not hard to feel like you stand out when you're at least a feet taller than everyone around you and you're the only one not dressed in a school uniform.  
  
A few moments before, the bell had signalled the end of the day as far as classes were concerned; before it had even stopped ringing, the students ran out of the building like an angry mob.   
  
The big amethyst eyes scanned the school yard confusedly. Everyone looked the same!!  
  
Even though for a moment he'd thought about going to Hisoka's place to check on his partner, he finally decided against it. Tatsumi had said Hisoka was ill, but Tsusuki really doubted it. He probably couldn't stand to stay in the same room with him after what he'd told him.  
  
He'd thought Hisoka had taken it well, not screaming or beating him up, but that didn't mean he didn't despised him more now. After all, Tsusuki had a suspicion that Hisoka knew about his feelings for him; it would be natural for his partner to assume he was dating Hijiri because he couldn't have him. And before his date with the young man the day before, Hisoka would have been right. But he had really enjoyed Hijiri's company, regardless of his looks. So yeah, maybe he wasn't in love with Hijiri, but that wasn't the only way to start a relationship. That could easily come later. Right?  
  
So, since Hisoka had left early, Tsusuki had seized the opportunity and decided to pick Hijiri up from school as a surprise. They had a date that night too, but he was too anxious to wait.   
  
But now he was starting to think it may have been a bad idea. There was no chance he'd spot Hijiri on that sea of uniformed people. And besides, this made it more evident. He was dating a student, for Enma's sake!  
  
What did that say about him?  
  
Though it wasn't that Hijiri was so much younger than him what bothered him. Lets be honest; once you turn 96 there's not much of a chance to find someone your age, is it? But all those kids around him, they were all chatting about their lives and what they'd do on the weekend; their friends and the girls they liked. They were alive...  
  
What could he offer Hijiri? He was dead. Not as dead as he'd liked, but dead non-the-less. Up until that point, that little detail seemed to have escaped him.   
  
Once again, the ever present black cloud hovered above his head. He could never do anything right, He'd always end up hurting someone.   
  
The shinigami lowered his gaze and turned on his heels to walk away. He'd tell Hijiri that night; that he could not see him anymore, that it wasn't right.   
  
Just when he was about to take the first step, someone seized his arm.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" Hijiri's voice held a slight hint of alarm, and Tsusuki looked up.  
  
"Hijiri...I..."  
  
The younger man pulled him into a corner and looked around nervously.  
  
"Why did you come here? Someone might see you!" Hijiri didn't sound angry, just preoccupied.   
  
'Of course', Tsusuki thought, 'you don't want everyone knowing you're seeing me, do you? Not that I blame you.'  
  
"Sorry," he smiled sheepishly, "I didn't think...I was stupid...I'll go now."  
  
Hijiri flashed him a smile.  
  
"It's ok, silly. I can get in trouble if they see me with an older man, that's all. You should have waited to meet me where I told you, so it doesn't get complicated."  
  
"I understand." Tsusuki answered a bit confused, his big amethyst eyes showing that he didn't really get it.  
  
"Just do as I tell you. Go now and meet me where I told you, ok? I have a few things to do before I catch up with you."  
  
Hijiri led him by the arm, motioning him out of the school yard.  
  
"Wait! Wait, I have to talk to you about something!" Tsusuki pulled on the other direction until the young man gave up. Hijiri turned to stare at him.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I...I don't think..." Tsusuki found that his shoes were a lot more interesting than he'd thought when he'd bought them. "I don't think we should keep seeing each other." he whispered.  
  
"What?!" the young man shrieked, "Why? Is this about yesterday? Did I do something to upset you?" Hijiri sounded truly upset and Tsusuki felt like crap.  
  
"No! No, yesterday was...wonderful, I haven't felt that good in a long time but..." he came closer to Hijiri, gently caressing his cheek. "you're so young and...your whole life is ahead of you and I... I'm..."  
  
Hijiri smiled tenderly and leaned to kiss his cheek.  
  
"Don't be silly. I know that, I've thought about that. But life's too short. You of all people should know that."  
  
Tsusuki sighed, relieved.  
  
"So, you don't mind...?"  
  
The young man shook his head no.  
  
"It may be weird, but I like you."  
  
The shinigami wanted to hold the young man and kiss him like he'd done the night before, but Hijiri seemed not to want people in his school to see him. It wasn't just his words; the fiddler had kept a safe distance between them the whole time.   
  
"Then I'll see you later?"  
  
Hijiri smiled and nodded.  
  
"Now go!" he laughed, pushing him out of the school grounds.   
  
-------------------------  
  
  
  
As much as he hated crowds, Hisoka was starting to like walking around town. Now that his life had a little more stability, he was beginning to learn how to keep upsetting emotions away. When it wasn't too warm outside, it was a nice way to clear his head. But that afternoon he just did it so the alien emotions could drown his own turmuil.  
  
All that people passing him by; all that worry and unhappiness. Didn't they know that any of this days he could be picking them up? That their lives weren't eternal? That they should really enjoy it as much as they can?   
  
He mentally laughed. 'No, of course they don't.'  
  
It had just been two days; two days and he was feeling like crawling into a dark corner and die. How the hell was he going to cope with this for as long as it lasted?!  
  
One thing is to deal with negative emotions coming from other people. One thing is to deal with the pain of your parents hating you. Or to deal with being raped. After all Hisoka had been through, he knew how to deal with all that. But this was new. This pain, it wasn't something someone else was causing, per se. And it wasn't a pain caused by something bad. But god, it hurt!   
  
He was beyond the point of no return. He had no right to say anything now. The night before he almost calls Hijiri a thousand times to tell him he'd changed his mind, that he'd tell Tsusuki what he felt about him and to put an end to it, quick. But he didn't. He couldn't do that to Tsusuki. It was too late now.   
  
He'd been walking for a while, not really knowing where he was going, when someone bumped into him, knocking him off his feet. There seemed to be a lot of that going around lately. The person couldn't see him; couldn't really have felt him, but still turned around and stared at Hisoka with a strange expression. And then Hisoka saw him.  
  
The long, black hair hanging loose around his body; the beautiful face...  
  
"You..." Hisoka whispered, immediately turning visible. Oriya gasped.   
  
"I knew I'd felt something!" The dark haired man unsheathed his sword so fast Hisoka didn't even have time to blink. He pressed the blade against Hisoka's throat and stared down at him, his eyes filled with hate. A few people saw this and ran out of the scene, frightened. "I should kill you now," he hissed. "In fact, I should have killed you a long time ago."  
  
Hisoka was scared, mind you, but he still smiled smugly.  
  
"You wanna go, we'll go." With one swift motion he was out of the blade's way and behind Oriya.  
  
The older man turned around and assumed an offensive stance.  
  
"Look, *boy*, I don't have time for this right now. So unless you have a death wish, I'd move aside."  
  
Hisoka sighed.  
  
"I have no business with you. Don't bother me and I won't bother you."  
  
Oriya nodded and sheathed his sword.  
  
"Next time I see you, you're paying for what you did to Muraki-sensei." he whispered warningly as he passed next to Hisoka.   
  
The young shinigami watched him go. There was something suspicious about the older man's demeanour. He seemed nervous; anxious about something. Hisoka decided that the older man couldn't be up to anything good, so he decided to follow him. Being who he was, it wasn't strange that Oriya was involved in something dirty but- and that was a big but- Hisoka wasn't sure Muraki was dead and if the good doctor was alive and up to something, Oriya would probably be involved. It was better to be safe than sorry.  
  
--------------------  
  
One unfocused eye, it's pupil dilated, looked from behind a tree to the couple talking on the crowded school yard.   
  
"That's not my doll," the man in the shadows said curiously. "Is it?"  
  
TBC  
  
Oooooooooooooooh! Who could that be? Heh heh heh...  
  
It may not seem like it, but everything that happens has a motive. I swear!   
  
Everything happens for a reason...nah, too clichéd...In this world there are no coincidences, only the inevitable...wrong show, ...er...Their destiny was foreordained?...I give up, you get the idea.  
  
Next time prizes: Cake! You can choose between Lemon pie (heh heh), strawberries and whipped cream or chocolate! All with Tsusuki, Hisoka, Tatsumi and Watari candles. But first you answer this...  
  
1)What colour are Muraki's eyes?  
  
2)Who was the composer that created the piece of music that Hijiri played and inspired the title for this fic? (this is a totally random question. I just don't know what else to ask *frowns*)  
  
3) Keep reviewing! I'm so happy! *dances with little hearts around her head^-^*  
  
Ok, now to the part you all like the most!  
  
One BIG basket with Hijiri and Tsusuki cookies for Serenity! They come in chocolate, vanilla and coconut flavours. They are enough for you to share with inu Tsusuki!  
  
Chibi Konnie-chan looks at chibi Aikawa...I'm sowy!!! I didn't know we would get all chibied with the Watari cookies! Waaaaah!...But good news! Watari made new cookies, they are the antidote and they are chocolate! And just for you. Tatsumi promised me he'd keep an eye on Watari so he doesn't turn us into chibis again! Oh! I read your profile (curious me, heheh ^-~) Do you want Subaru cookies as well?  
  
Nakki, if I were you, I'd keep the Muraki doll locked somewhere safe. I wouldn't trust him! I give you a Hisoka doll so Muraki entertains himself and doesn't go doing weird stuff to you! (Mwahaha, that's mean of me, ne?) BTW, thanks for the spelling advice. I was wondering when someone was going to comment on my sucky grammar and stuff...  
  
French-Fille: Are you really french? First time reviewing, huh...my audience keeps growing and growing. An inu Tsusuki plushie for you and a neko Hisoka. I thought that bon came from the french word, but i wasn't sure. Anyway, I've gotten so many different responses to that question that I've decided I won't use it myself until I'm sure. I hope you-and everyone else that took the time to answer- don't mind about that. And Thanks for such an elaborate review! *-*  
  
Miko, Miko! Don't worry! I knew you weren't flaming me, just got that impression when i started reading your review at first...but then I realised that you weren't! Please don't get mad at me...*cries* Here! Take the Tatsumi plushie.... We don't want Watari getting lonely, ne? And you get Tsusuki cookies too! You like?  
  
Dib...*batting poking finger away* Don't poke me! *shimmering eyes* I'm ticklish! So you noticed Tatsumi kissed Watari? I was starting to think I'd imagined writing it! Here, Watari -free of potion- cookies for you!  
  
And belated thanks and inu Tsusuki plushie to dodger-chan! I almost forget about you!!  
  
Ja ne! 


	6. 6

VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!!! ^-^  
  
Ok, Please read this.  
  
I have a very important question to make to all of you. When I first started writing this, I had a clear idea of what I was going to do; I still do. But now I'm not so sure I should do it. The thing is, in a few chapters, there'll be a turn on this story. Make that a BIG turn. I'm not making it up as I go, I had a plan. I'm afraid once I get to the 'turn' part, you'll hate it so much you'll never want to set eyes on the story again. Now don't worry, no one dies (they're already dead, nehe); and in the end it'll be a happy ending; I'm a sucker for happy endings, sorry.   
  
The problem is that I didn't really hint on it. I was too careful to keep it a surprise- without contradicting myself, of course- and now I wonder if it wasn't a mistake.  
  
I've thought about this a lot. Even when I think that I should not let myself be led by the nose by reviewers, I am thankful for all the time all of you invested on reading this and reviewing it. I can't just do something without caring what you think.   
  
With this I ain't implying I wont do it if you ask me not to do it. I am writing this for myself yes, but also for you- that's the fun part- and I wouldn't have started it if I didn't think you'd like it.   
  
I'm just warning you and asking you not to kill me when the time comes.  
  
Ok, enough from me *-*  
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
"Dammit!" Hisoka hissed through gritted teeth. Twenty minutes of fallowing Oriya gone down the drain!   
  
The man had proved too fast for him. He could have flown over the guy's head, but Hisoka feared that the second he took his eyes away from him he'd lose his trail.   
  
It hadn't mattered in the end. Oriya had proven to be as sneaky as hell and now the young shinigami was left standing on the corner where he'd lost him, feeling dread and uncertainty sweep him over.   
  
He was being paranoid, Hisoka repeated to himself over and over again. There was nothing certain about Muraki still being alive. Yes, someone had pulled him out of the fire, but by the time that had happened, the guy could have already been turned into toast. He was just assuming the worst because seeing Oriya had stirred up all those unpleasant memories of their last encounter.  
  
It was just when he'd finally decided that continuing the search would be a waste of his time that Hisoka noticed where he was. It wasn't just the familiar street; that could have been a coincidence. But Hisoka begun mentally going through the streets they'd walked, noticing with alarm that if Oriya kept going in the direction he'd been going...  
  
It couldn't be! Why would he be going there?!   
  
There was only a small chance that the swordsman would be actually going where he thought he was; but Hisoka would not wait to find out.   
  
Tired and out of breath, the young shinigami begun running as if his life depended on it. A few students with Hijiri's school uniform passed him by, confirming that he hadn't made a mistake about Oriya's possible destination.  
  
Just a few blocks away from the school, Hisoka saw the long haired man turning around the corner.   
  
'I was right!' he thought, willing himself not to pass out from the lack of air 'But why?! Hijiri doesn't know him! Unless...'  
  
---------------  
  
The silver eye saw the couple go their separate ways. His feverish mind couldn't decide if he wanted to follow the boy, that looked so much like his doll, or the object of his obsessions and the cause of his ruin.   
  
He was nothing now. Just a withered shell; his mind was gone. Whatever remained of his soul was too confused and wounded to make sense of anything. But he could still remember him.  
  
The boy would have been fun, maybe. Maybe he didn't care about having fun when he could be with him; the one that made sense in his deluded thoughts.   
  
He'd lost everything. His reason for living- and for killing- had died in that fire the way he should have. Time had lost it's meaning, and Muraki couldn't really know how long it had been since he'd last seen Tsusuki; but seeing him now made him feel alive again. He was drawn to the shinigami; that same need to be near the man, to take him and make him his was renewed with just one glance.  
  
Tsusuki was lost in thought; nothing deep, just thinking about what he'd order for dinner, mind you. Of course, that meant thinking about dinner in general, which inevitably led to thinking about Hijiri. And that always ended up making him think of Hisoka and...And suddenly he was to weary to think about dinner. 'Live a little!' Tsusuki thought. 'Decide what you'll order when you get to the table!'  
  
Hands buried deep on his black trench coat's pockets, the shinigami walked somewhat cheerily through the crowd. It was just a few hours to his date and he thought it useless to go back to Meifu, so he'd walk around a while, enjoy the beautiful day.   
  
He frowned a little when he remembered his meeting with Hijiri. Should he be upset that the young man had practically had a fit when he saw him on the school grounds? If theirs had been a normal relationship, Tsusuki guessed he would be angry. But considering that Hijiri was right in what he'd said, plus the fact that his own reasons for being with the young man could be considered questionable, he didn't make much of it.   
  
Everything would work itself out eventually; Tsusuki figured. Hijiri was such a sweet person, so loving; Surely he would fall in love with the young man soon enough.   
  
Something he caught from the corner of his eye made his attention divert from his mental ramblings. He was now going through an alley, and he was sure he saw someone following him.   
  
What made his heart go all the way up to his throat was that the flash of a person he'd seen was mostly dressed in white.  
  
--------------  
  
From a distance, Hisoka could see Oriya going inside the school yard. He was about to go after him when he saw a group of people, dressed in the school uniform, walking in the direction opposite to him on the other side of the street. One of them he knew all too well, and Hisoka sighed, relieved, when he saw that Hijiri wasn't in any danger. Still, he had to tell him to get the hell out of there just in case.   
  
"Hijiri!" He called.   
  
The fiddler looked at him curiously and waved. After saying good bye to whoever he was with, Hijiri crossed the street to meet him with a smile.  
  
"Hisoka-kun! What brings you here?"  
  
Hisoka leaned down, supporting himself with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Something's wrong...you...*pant*, get out of...*pant*...here. "  
  
Hijiri eyed him curiously.  
  
"Is it a case? Is that why you're here? I thought it was too early for Tsusuki to be out of the office...Now I get it, you're working!" he said cheerfully. Hisoka's face drained of all colour. "I was really surprised to see him, you can imagine that it made me a little nervous..."  
  
"What?!" Hisoka finally yelled. Hijiri jumped a few feet back, startled.   
  
"I...I said that I was surprised when..."  
  
"No! Before that!"  
  
"Tsusuki was here..." Hijiri frowned. "You didn't know that?"  
  
Hisoka grabbed the young man's shoulders and shook him a little.   
  
"What direction did he took?! Did you see where he was going?!"  
  
Without hesitation and realising Hisoka was worried, which probably meant business, Hijiri pointed in the direction he'd seen Tsusuki leave. Hisoka took into the skies immediately, while Hijiri made his search on the ground.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Tsusuki was frozen in place. He couldn't see anything but a shadow; hear anything but the thumping of his heart, but something inside him just KNEW it. And the oldest of shinigamis; master of 12 powerful shikigamis and possessor of more power than most shinigamis could only dream off, was using all his power of concentration to keep control of his bladder.   
  
"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening!"  
  
Though he couldn't see him, Tsusuki knew Muraki wasn't hiding from him; the good doctor was playing with him. And Tsusuki was giving him the satisfaction of seeing him in absolute panic; but of course he couldn't do anything about it. It's not like he could say, 'Oh, I'm panicking and he likes it, I better stop.' Right?  
  
Taking a deep breath, Tsusuki took a step forward and tried to sound like he was not a step away from crying.  
  
"Who's there?" he called out while thinking, 'Please don't answer; please, don't answer.'   
  
Taking a few more steps towards the direction of the shadow, he realised he should probably just run the hell away from that alley; get himself out of there and go somewhere safe. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. As scared as he was, he wouldn't be able to ever set foot on the land of the living again if he had to wonder if Muraki would be waiting for him each time.  
  
"C'mon, I know you're there..." he whispered as he approached the garbage container that the owner of the shadow seemed to be using to conceal himself.   
  
With one jump he was in front of the owner of the shadow.   
  
A plastic bag?  
  
Tsusuki was about to let out a nervous laugh of relief when his breath caught on his throat. Before he had time to react, someone had come from behind him and seized his neck with one hand and his arms with the other, pressing his face into the nearest wall and pressing themselves against him.  
  
"You're getting careless in your old age, Tsusuki." the familiar voice sulkily whispered in his ear. Tsusuki had to refrain himself from lurching when the hand on his throat started caressing him and Muraki begun nibbling his ear. "God, I've missed you."  
  
He wanted to push the man away from him, but fear had took over him and his limbs didn't seem to be reacting to his wishes. With tears forming in his eyes, he could only manage to whisper a futile plea.  
  
"Please, let me go..."  
  
Muraki pushed him hard against the brick wall, drawing blood from his abused cheek.  
  
"You still think you're better than me, don't you?!" he hissed. "After all that's happened; after all you've done, you still believe you're a good person, don't you?"  
  
Tsusuki closed his eyes, fighting back the tears.  
  
"No, no I don't...I...please, just...let go of me..."  
  
"We're the same, you and I," Muraki continued, this time with affection in his voice. "Both murderers, using others' lives to go on living. And now, both of us should be dead, want to be dead, but someone wouldn't let us. Isn't that true?" Tsusuki didn't want to hear this. It wasn't true. This man was mad, he had to remember that! "I'm so proud of you." Muraki continued, "I must say that, though you weren't very original while finding your doll, he's still beautiful. No need to look for something original when you can find perfection, ne? I was surprised when I saw you both. Surprised and a little jealous, I must admit. But I can't come between a man and his doll, can I?"  
  
"He's not...not a doll..." Tsusuki said, somewhat dully. His sanity was threatening to leave him and he had to use all his strength not to loose it again. Not again.  
  
Muraki let go of his grasp, backing away slightly. Tsusuki wasn't ready for what he saw when he turned around. Muraki's body was a ruin. Half his face, where the artificial eye used to be, was covered in bandages. But Tsusuki could still get a glimpse of the scorched skin. There were just a few strands of the once beautiful silver hair that were visible through the bandages, now devoid of all life. But what impressed him the most was that Muraki looked broken.   
  
Tsusuki's legs betrayed him, and he slid to the floor, staring fixedly at his nightmare gone real.  
  
"You hate him, don't you?" Muraki whispered without looking at him, then snorted. "Not really hate him; you can't really hate him because he loves you. But you can't forgive him." Suddenly he raised an eyebrow and looked at him in surprise. "That's why, isn't it? That's why you got yourself a doll that looks so much like him. To punish him for making you stay."  
  
Tsusuki put his hands to his ears. He saw flashes of Hisoka pleading him to stay; crying that he didn't want to be left alone, that he needed him and he felt like screaming.   
  
The tight grasp he'd tried to keep of reality begun loosing it's strength; tears begun streaming freely down his face. It wasn't true!  
  
Detachedly he noticed Muraki was no longer there. It didn't matter. It wasn't that mad man the one he should be afraid of. He was the real monster.   
  
-----------------------   
  
Hisoka's skin was practically burning. There was no doubt in his mind now. Muraki was close.  
  
As reluctant as he was, he knew the best shot at finding Tsusuki was to follow the link he had with Muraki. He just prayed that Tsusuki was ok and that he had kicked the psycho's ass.  
  
-----------------  
  
Oriya was getting desperate. Muraki had disappeared a few days before and he had started loosing hope of ever seeing him again when the doctor had called him to tell him he'd found Tsusuki.  
  
After months of trying to lure his friend back into the land of the living, the stupid shinigami had to reappear to ruin everything. He'd pleaded to his friend to tell him where he was, so he could stop anyone who may try to hurt him any further, as he knew it would happen, but now he found the school yard empty.  
  
Familiar as he was with the streets- you had to be if you were in his line of work-, Oriya begun running in his head all the possible places where Muraki would make his move. It had to be a place with few, if no people; where he could ambush the shinigami. Remembering a few dark, secluded alleys a few blocks away, the swordman didn't waste any time getting there. There was a big chance that he was wrong, so he better rule out the possibility as soon as he could so he could look somewhere else.  
  
Before he could even get to the first alley, his eyes caught the sight of the doctor, walking unsteadily in his direction.  
  
Rushing by his side, Oriya scanned his friend's body for any injuries. Relieved to find him unharmed, he caught his friend in his arms.  
  
"Thank god you're ok!" Muraki didn't look at him, nor did he answer; he looked absent. But Oriya was already used to that. He encircled his friend's waist to support him and smiled brightly at him. "Let me take you home, ok?"  
  
Muraki nodded distantly.  
  
-----------------------  
  
Tsusuki was staring blankly into the void. Everything around him didn't make any sense now. His mind was numb and his surroundings seemed to be further and further away every moment that passed.   
  
Hisoka didn't want to believe his eyes. His chest hurt at the sight. Tsusuki's expression was completely blank. His hands were still covering his ears and he was rocking back and forward slightly.   
  
The young shinigami took a deep breath and kneeled next to his partner. He gently took his hands away from his ears, noticing the nasty cut on his cheek. He pulled the older man into his arms, soothingly stroking his back in circles.  
  
"Shhhh, It's over. He's gone." He said, trying to keep the worry out of his voice and at the same time convey as much affection as he could. Tsusuki leaned into the embrace, burying his face on the younger man's chest.  
  
Hijiri watched the scene from a distance with a smile on his face.   
  
TBC  
  
Wow, I do update fast, ne?  
  
Next update wont get here for a few days though. Maybe Wednesday, maybe Friday. But the story would probably be finished by next weekend.  
  
*clears her throat and stands in front of everyone on the table, scanning the faces around her with glee.*  
  
Konnie-chan: *in la la land* 33 reviews! A new record!! Thank you all so much for coming...Ok, who wants cake?  
  
*sound of everyone raising their hands desperately*   
  
Everyone: ME! Me! I want cake!  
  
KC: Ok, ok. Everything has to be done in order or no one gets cake. Watari, please serve the drinks.   
  
*chibi Watari jumps up and down in delight while everyone looks at Konnie-chan as if she's lost her mind*  
  
KC: First two slices of lemon pie and a glass of tasty lemonade to Miyahara Yuuki, that was sadly left out of last chapter's prizes because stupid FF.net took too long in posting the chappy.  
  
*chibi Watari hands MY the glass and proceeds with the rest.*  
  
KC: Now Sei-chan cookies and a slice of strawberry cake with whipped cream and a glass of lemonade to Aikawa Fuuko. The answer was Giussepe Tartini *_~   
  
Next we have...*looks at her looooong list* Madiha. You get a slice of chocolate cake and a Hisoka plushie for being your first time reviewing.  
  
Hisoka:*crying* Stop giving me away!  
  
KC:*pats Hisoka* Enough from you, angst boy. Ok...  
  
Miko, here you have a slice of chocolate cake too. And Muraki wasn't invited because last time I threw a party he started sexually harassing my guests. The man can't seem to get enough!  
  
*Miko stares at her cake suspiciously*  
  
KC: Don't worry, Tsusuki didn't bake it.  
  
*everyone sighs in relief and they start eating their cakes.*  
  
Tsusuki: Hey! *shimmering eyes*  
  
KC: Next we have Dib...Dib *big, watering eyes* You...*sniff* you gave ME a candy? *snif*...Waaaaaaaah! Thank you! No one gives me candy! Here, you can have two slices of strawberry cake!  
  
Serenity...  
  
Serenity...  
  
*glares* Serenity stop groping Hijiri!!  
  
Hijiri: "..."  
  
KC: Here you go Serenity. A slice of lemon pie for you and one chocolate cake for ripping your review method to do the thank you list *grins*(Just this time though, cuz I had to celebrate the new record with all of you ^-^)  
  
More strawberry cake to dodger-chan. Patience is a virtue, dear. Nehehe.  
  
And last but not least, Nakkie, you get Oriya cookies and a slice of lemon pie. *pouts* What do you mean it's getting interesting NOW? *sniff* How mean.  
  
Tatsumi: And may I know who's paying for all this food?  
  
*Konnie-chan jumps under the table and hides*  
  
Inu-Tsusuki: Well, not me. I didn't get any cake!  
  
Ja ne! *-* 


	7. 7

A/N: Silly, silly chappy! *-* Since last time it was all Tsusuki/hisoka/Hijiri, and since I promised equal screen time for all our pwetty bishies, here's an all Tatsumi/Watari chappy. Very fluffy and...uhm...silly. I hope you like it? Tatsumi's thoughts about a certain subject are based on what I got from him on the manga. If you think it's OCC, feel free to say so, so I can explain why I wrote him like that and then you can tell me if it's still OCC. It may be. I'm not sure.   
  
While we're on the subject, one of you mentioned something about last chappy I should have clarified. Tsusuki has never been that scared of Muraki before; my reason to make him be that scared was that I figured, after his last encounter with the good doctor and all that happened, Tsusuki would be scared to death about what Muraki made him feel about himself, not really about what Muraki could do to him. Do I make sense? Feel free to disagree. *-*   
  
A curious bit of random information. Just two days ago I realised that Hisoka and I were born on the exact same day. How creepy is that? I'm not kidding. I was born 10/18/80, same day, month and year as him! Will there be a Muraki in my life? *shudders*  
  
As always, if you reviewed, check the bottom of the page.   
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
*Flap* *flap* *flap* *flap*  
  
003 hovered over her master's head, looking at him curiously as he went through some papers. The blond was looking for some files he was supposed to give Tatsumi by the end of the week. Frustration was evident in his features as he threw papers over his head frantically, mumbling curses in every possible language.   
  
The owl flew around Watari's head a few more times. Just because she was a bird didn't mean she wasn't perceptive. Files weren't the cause of the blond's frustration and you didn't have to be very bright- nor human- to realise that.   
  
"Bring these to me by the end of the week;..." the scientist mumbled, raising his voice. "be careful with your expenses; get that glass away from me; don't blow up the lab; blah. blah, blah!"   
  
Watari groaned loudly as he threw the last of the files into the air. Now he'd had to start all over again, and this time he'd have to pick all the files from the floor.   
  
After-life sucks, he concluded.   
  
He liked Tsusuki; honestly, who doesn't? It was impossible not to care about that sweet guy, but at that moment...  
  
'No', Watari thought, 'I'm not taking it out on Tsusuki. It's not his fault he's so infuriatingly cute that Tatsumi would choose him over me....' he paused on his mental ramblings for a moment, staring dumbly into space.  
  
"But I'm cute too!" he cried, startling 003, who practically end up stamped against the wall.   
  
A few minutes later, the lab looked like a scene taken out of WWIII. 003 stared at her master, trying to regain her breath after having to avoid Watari's unintentional blows whenever the blond would throw something in the air in her direction.  
  
"Aha!!" the scientist jumped from the spot he'd been kneeling on the floor, crumpled paper in hand, again almost punching 003 in the process. "Here you are, you despicable piece of bureaucratic crap!!"  
  
The owl watched fearful as her owner got a mischievous gleam into his eyes. That wasn't good; that was *never* good!  
  
Unable to run for her life and warn others in the process, 003 could only watch Watari leave the lab, eyeing the paper gleefully and singing something that was probably the result of a delusional mind. Or maybe it was something Watari was making up...Oh, well.  
  
A few shinigami that were going through the halls saw Watari walking on their direction and immediately ducked. One of them was Terazuma Hajime, who lost his grumpy appearance in an instant when he saw the genki scientist, bouncing up and down in delight, not one bit embarrassed to show his utter and most profound fear about what that meant. The former cop hid in the first office he could find, closing his eyes and sighing in relief when the door was securely closed behind him.  
  
Someone gently touched his arm and spoke, making him open his eyes again.  
  
"Can I help you with something?" the girl asked kindly, and not a little bit flirtingly.  
  
Watari jumped a little when a roar burst from one of the offices behind him. He noted detachedly that mayhem was braking loose again somewhere, but shrugged it off. This was the Shonkan division after all.   
  
When the scientist finally reached his destination, he took a few moments before opening the door, taking special care in hiding his excitement and going through the pity evoking lines he'd been practicing all afternoon.   
  
-----------  
  
Tatsumi wanted to be paying attention to the report in front of him. He really did! He'd been on the same page for forty five minutes though. The numbers inevitably seemed to turn into little dancing ants after reading for a few seconds. But in truth, his mind couldn't even focus on being frustrated for not being able to focus.  
  
What he didn't seem to have any trouble thinking about was that morning's events. Most of the time, his thoughts would be limited to remembering just how good Watari felt in his arms, but every once in a while, he would think about why exactly was he loosing his mind completely; to which the answer always seemed to be that Watari felt incredibly good in his arms.   
  
Having his brain turn into some sort of mushy, useless organ that only served to play one scene over and over, each time with different variations that were making an innocent kiss beginning to look like an X rated movie; plus having to fight the eventual, every time more frequent, stirring in his groin; plus being completely crippled to do any job; even the dumbest of them; even the ones Tsusuki did well, was bound to leave a mark on someone's nerves.   
  
Tatsumi's hands shook a little and his eyebrow twitched a bit more as he resignedly set the report a side. Last thing he wanted was to make a mistake on that month's budget out of such a trivial distraction.   
  
'This is wrong.' he thought, 'Yes, wrong; wrong, so wrong, so very, very wrong;'   
  
*twitch*  
  
'wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrong....'  
  
*deep breath*  
  
'Ok, where was I? Oh, yeah; This is *wrong*!'  
  
Watari was a man! A man!  
  
This couldn't be happening. Not again. A man wasn't supposed to want another man so much. It was confusion, it had to be. Tatsumi was too stressed; yes! He had been working too much! Tsusuki was that never ending pain on the pit of his stomach and the stress of having to fix the idiot's over budgeting was taking it's toll on his battered mind. It had to be that. It made sense too, considering last time he'd felt like this had been back when he'd been partners with Tsusuki. A man having feelings for another man was just perverted; he had to remind himself of that.  
  
'Tsusuki and Hisoka aren't perverted.' a little voice said inside his head. He wasn't surprised though. Whatever part of his personality that was, they'd been getting acquainted all afternoon. 'You don't think they are wrong in liking other men, do you?'  
  
"That's different," he said out loud, immediately looking around to make sure no one had heard him talking to himself. He'd hate to have to kill one of his co-workers. Then he continued the conversation in his head. 'That's not the same, Tsusuki and Hisoka need that...they...'  
  
'And you don't?' the voice said amusedly.   
  
'Tsusuki always needs affection, and Hisoka is just a kid, he doesn't know better. I don't need that kind of company, I've been managing alright on my own.'  
  
'Is that so? Then why were you seeking Watari in the first place?"  
  
'What are you now, my shrink?' he mentally spat.   
  
'Now, now. You wont get anywhere attacking yourself. See? Self destructive patterns. You really may need a shrink.'  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
'Ok, ok. What about Watari?' the voice asked. Tatsumi tensed.  
  
'What about him?'  
  
'He likes you, obviously. Remember how he touched you this morning with those beautiful hands and the way those lips...'  
  
'Shut the fuck up, you idiot! I don't want to take another cold shower!'   
  
'What I mean is, he's not perverted, is he?'  
  
Even when he wasn't really talking to anyone, Tatsumi still gaped a little at that.  
  
'No,...no, of course not. But it's different...He...'  
  
'What?'  
  
'He's a man but...you heard him, he doesn't even feel like one and...'  
  
'Oh, but when he said he wanted to be a woman, didn't you picture him as one? Wasn't that what made you kiss him? Because you saw the image of him changing and you didn't like it? He's a man, alright!'  
  
'.......'  
  
'Thought so.'  
  
Tatsumi groaned loudly. This, as he knew it would happen, was leading him nowhere. He couldn't honestly say he thought liking another man was wrong. He was never one to think that when it came to other people. Then why was it wrong for him? Why couldn't he be honest with himself for once? He tried as hard as he could to remember one- just one- woman who'd managed to make him feel like Tsusuki and Watari had made him feel. Nothing. He couldn't even remember when was the last time he'd been attracted to a woman, but he did seem to recall quite a few times when he'd stared at a man a little longer than he should have.   
  
But it didn't fit with the image he had of himself. Not only being...you know, like that...; but also being so repressed it took the bigger part of a century for him to realise.  
  
"Oh god." he whispered.   
  
A hand holding a piece of paper materialized magically in front of him on his desk, making Tatsumi blink a few times.  
  
"Oh, god what?" a voice that seemed to come from over his head stated. Tatsumi followed the arm that seemed to be attached to the intruding hand with his eyes, surprisingly finding a body attached to it, standing in front of him. The body -curiously enough-, had a head, and the eyes in it where looking at him funny.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" he screamed finally, when he realised the curious phenomenon was actually Watari that had gotten into his office without him noticing it.   
  
"Waaaah!!! What?!" Watari backed away a little.   
  
Tatsumi remained in a pose of fear for a few seconds before straightening out on his chair and fixing his glasses in a no-nonsense fashion.  
  
"Watari, I'd appreciate it if you knocked before entering my office from now on." he said, keeping his cool.   
  
The scientist gave him a look he couldn't really understand and then handed him the paper, with his chin lifted slightly upwards and a cold stance.  
  
"You said you needed this." he said flatly. Still, Tatsumi could see a hint of hurt on the blond's entire demeanour.   
  
The shadow master glanced at the piece of paper confusedly before taking it with two fingers.  
  
"I thought I told you this wasn't due 'til Friday. There was no need for you to deliver it now..."  
  
Watari violently snatched the paper away from him.  
  
"Oh, is that so?" he said offended. "I'm sorry, I should have known you wouldn't want to see me before you *had* to. I'll leave now."  
  
The blond man turned around to leave. Every inch of Tatsumi's body urged him to get up and stop him and, since the rational part of his brain seemed to be on vacation somewhere in the Caribbean, Tatsumi did just that.   
  
He jumped form his seat and rushed to catch Watari, tripping with his own feet and finally pushing the poor man hard into the office door. Watari's face was pressed against the glass, emulating a cartoon character; he let out a faint whine and Tatsumi, who'd crashed into him, pulled away, helping Watari keep his balance.  
  
Watari avoided looking at him directly; Tatsumi apologized over and over again, while annoyingly trying to fix Watari's lab coat.  
  
"Gomen nasai! I don't know what happened! I'm never that clumsy,...I..."  
  
"Ok, ok!" Watari slapped his hand away. "Stop with the lab coat! I like the wrinkles!"  
  
"Sumimasen." the shadow master whispered, looking at his feet. "Watari..." he started, but trailed off. How was he supposed to apologize for fleeing after kissing him when he really didn't know why he'd done it? Obviously, that's why his friend was angry at him. Besides, Tatsumi Seiichirou did not apologize, did he? But then again, hadn't he apologized twice in the course of a minute already?  
  
Watari sighed, his expression softening a little. The scientist placed a hand on his arm delicately.  
  
"What? Is there something you wanted to tell me?" he said softly.   
  
Tatsumi gathered all his courage- which was a lot of courage to gather for something so simple- and looked straight into Watari's eyes.   
  
"Watari, I...This morning...you...I mean..." To Tatsumi's surprise, Watari started giggling. "What's so funny?" he asked curiously.  
  
"Do I really have this effect on you? Why, Tatsumi, I'm flattered. First you trip and now you're stammering?"  
  
Tatsumi sighed.  
  
"Look, Watari. I'm just sorry, ok? About this morning, I mean." he rushed. Watari's smile slipped away from his face and his lower lip quivered slightly.  
  
"You are?" big, shimmering hazel eyes stared at him expectant. If Watari so much as tear up once, he'd loose it.  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry. I was stupid and wasn't thinking. I'm confused and..."  
  
"It's ok." Watari said, looking positively pitiful and oh so incredibly cute. "I understand."  
  
Tatsumi watched confusedly as the other man opened the door to leave again. Now, what had gone wrong?  
  
"Wait!" Tatsumi reacted at last, grabbing Watari's arm. "Wait, what's wrong? I thought that was what you wanted me to say!" he cried, frustrated.  
  
"That...*sniff* that you're sorry...*sniff* ..." Tatsumi nodded. "...for kissing me?" Tatsumi kept on nodding until he realised what Watari had said. Then he shook his head no emphatically.  
  
"No, no! You got it wrong! That's not what I'm sorry for!"   
  
Watari smiled wickedly.  
  
"Oh, so you're not sorry for kissing me?" Tatsumi sighed relieved and shook his head no. "So you liked it?" Tatsumi's nod was barely noticeable. "So you don't mind if I kiss you again?" this time Watari's tone was coy and Tatsumi's eyes opened as big as saucers.   
  
His eyebrow begun twitching again as the scientist moved towards him. He unconsciously backed away a step for every step Watari took in his direction. The scientist smile widened when Tatsumi's way was obstructed by the desk. There was no escape now. Resistance was futile!  
  
Tatsumi laughed nervously as Watari slid both arms around his waist and leaned his face just inches away from his.  
  
"Wa...Watari...er...I...I...mphhhhhhh!"  
  
Those soft lips were on his again, but this time Watari made it obvious that he intended to have control of the situation. Tatsumi noted distantly that his brain was shutting down again, but he really didn't care; the stupid thing hadn't been working very well anyway. The shadow master's arms went around Watari's body as soon as he got over his shock, soon finding their way up the mass of hair and holding the back of the scientist head with both hands.   
  
Watari surprised him one more time when he opened his mouth just a tad, so he could trail the shadow master's lips with his tongue in a fashion that was threatening to make him lose his mind. Hungrily, Tatsumi opened his own mouth and violently slid his own tongue into the scientist's. Watari moaned approvingly as their tongues massaged each other heatedly.  
  
They finally pulled out for air; Tatsumi was panting, completely overwhelmed by what had just happened. Watari...not so much. Tatsumi held onto Watari's slim frame as if his life depended on it. The scientist buried his face on the crook of Tatsumi's neck and started trailing kisses upwards, barely pinching the skin with his teeth from time to time.  
  
"Watari that...that was..."  
  
The blond scientist stirred lazily in his embrace, moving from his neck to his earlobe.   
  
"Nice." he purred between kisses.   
  
If Tatsumi didn't stop him now, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions. Seriously, you can't repress any sexual desire for an entire life time and then some more and expect to be in control when a gorgeous, sexy blond begins provoking you like that.   
  
"Watari..." he whispered softly, kissing the top of the other man's head.   
  
"Uhm?"  
  
"Stop that."  
  
Watari pouted but stopped anyway, knowing when he was pushing his luck. He rested his head on Tatsumi's shoulder and stared at the other man, pleased.  
  
"You liked it though." he smiled knowingly.  
  
Tatsumi snorted and pulled Watari to face him. One hand found it's way to the back of the scientist neck and begun caressing it tenderly.   
  
"Will you be patient with me?" he hated how vulnerable he was making himself sound, but he wasn't about to risk Watari getting the wrong idea again. He was confused, yes, but not so much that he didn't know what he didn't want.  
  
Watari smiled and kissed him chastely on the lips.  
  
"Depends." he said wickedly.  
  
"On what?" Tatsumi said with a smile on his lips.   
  
"Will I get to kiss you silly whenever I want to?"   
  
To answer him, Tatsumi leaned over and kissed Watari again. It wasn't a long kiss, just enough to get the point across, and then he hugged the other man tightly.   
  
Watari planned on doing a little more than kissing, but he wasn't about to tell Tatsumi that. He'd learned that the shadow master wasn't very good at controlling himself once they were already at it, and you bet he was going to use that to his advantage.   
  
Watari noticed Tatsumi tensed a little and was about to ask what was wrong when the other man whispered.  
  
"Tsusuki."  
  
'You've got to be kidding me!!' Watari thought, and pulled away as if Tatsumi burned. He was a second away from slapping Tatsumi when he noticed the shadow master's gaze was focused outside his office. He followed his friend's gaze and saw the reason for the change of mood.   
  
From the glass of the door Watari could see Hisoka leading Tsusuki by the hand, who looked pretty worse for wear, and had that awful, vacant look in his eyes. Without thinking about it, Watari rushed outside, followed by Tatsumi.  
  
TBC  
  
No updates 'til Friday. Sound like the title of a song, ne? Anyway, I hope I'm not making you wait too much. Forgive me?   
  
Time for a Konnie-chan contest and poll!! YAY!!  
  
1) Did they make the St. Michael's arch for the anime?  
  
2) Do you like the little attempts of humour that I try to introduce, even though it's angst? Are they even funny? Should I stop altogether? *pouts* I think they're funny.  
  
3) Review and keep me happy! *bounces* Good, good reviewers!  
  
This time I have YNM cookies, do you want? If you don't, they can be traded for cake.   
  
Serenity, I have to give you an extra bag of cookies because if not Tsusuki would cry. Thank you for feeding him, but you have to share with Hisoka and Hijiri! They're so skinny!  
  
Aikawa, I hope the A/N upstairs explained a little about what you mention. I hope you didn't hate the story because of what happened with Tsusuki and Muraki *cries* Anyway, you get a bag of Tsusuki cookies with that creamy filling that is so tasty.   
  
Miyahara Yuuki, Hisoka cookies for you. They're not as sweet, but still they're nice. I'd give you Watari cookies, but I wouldn't recommend eating them until you get them tested for any possible side effects.   
  
More Tsusuki cookies for Miko. You can all guess what the turn is. In fact, I'd like to hear what you think it is, just for the fun of it.   
  
*pokes her head timidly from under the table* last waltz, please put the gun down! I update fast! *cries* Here! Have your Tsusuki plushie for being your first review and your Tsusuki cookies!!, But plz don't shoot me! Waaaaaah!  
  
Kyraille Fade!!!!!! I missed you! I thought you thought the story sucked or something! Heh heh, Welcome back!! Here you have Tsusuki cookies and your piece of lemon pie that I saved for you from the party last chappy. Tsusuki ate the rest, sorry...T-T   
  
And Tifa, or Hiruiseki, I'm not sure -...You also get an inu Tsusuki plushie for reviewing for the first time. And of course the cookies.  
  
Thank you all so much!! 40 reviews is like WOW!! @-@ (I don't mind if I get a lot more though, nehehe.)  
  
Ja ne! 


	8. 8

A/N: Ok! I'm sorry! I know I promised I'd update yesterday! *cries* Sorry? This chapter was so hard to write for some reason! T.T  
  
Anyway, is this story starting to suck? The only reason I'm asking is cuz a few people that review always, didn't review last time. But then other people did, so I don't know.   
  
Next chapter will possibly be R rated. I don't want to change the rating for the whole story out of one chapter. You know, because then it doesn't show immediately when you check the fandom. I don't know what to do. It won't even be R, it'll be something closer to PG-15. They really should have a PG-15 category.  
  
Just so you know, I posted this chapter on SATURDAY, around 10:00 pm New York time. (I am almost sure we have New York's time line, but I could be wrong, so take or add an hour.) If this chapter shows up Sunday at 10 pm, it wasn't my fault.  
  
Enjoy!!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
Blood; everywhere.  
  
All he could see was blood. Around him, above him; at his feet. But specially on his hands. They stung with blood. From the people he'd killed; from the people that had died because of him. He was death.  
  
~"I'm so proud of you."~  
  
Muraki knew him. He could see him for what he was. And the sick, cold blooded murderer liked him for it.   
  
~"We're the same, you and I."~  
  
Outlined by crimson he could see the doctor's figure, haunting him, showing him his true self.  
  
~"Both murderers, using others' lives to go on living."~  
  
The illusion was becoming stronger; heavier. The coppery smell of blood was almost too much for him to bare; it was so disturbingly familiar.  
  
Muraki was holding something in his arms that looked like a ragged doll and Tsusuki tried to find his voice to scream.  
  
The swan-like throat had been slashed open; his eyes, once so beautiful and expressive, were now two empty, dull orbs staring fixedly into nothingness. His face stricken with horror, giving testimony of his last moments. Still, the dry, colourless lips moved.  
  
~"I love you. Please don't leave me."~  
  
Tsusuki reached out with his hand, desperately trying to get close to the boy. The tears in his eyes blurred his vision and as hard as he tried, he couldn't move.  
  
Muraki laughed then, throwing the body in his arms.  
  
~"I can't come between a man and his doll, can I?"~  
  
He traced gingerly the lifeless porcelain face, unwilling to believe what he was seeing.  
  
~"You did this, remember?"~ the dead lips told him. ~"You killed me."~  
  
Tsusuki shook his head no, helplessly. This wasn't happening; it was another nightmare. He had to wake up!  
  
~"It's ok."~ Hijiri whispered. ~"I don't mind that you killed me because you love me, right? Tell me you love me, Tsusuki."~  
  
The air was pulled out of his lungs upon hearing those words. It was his fault. He'd killed him. It was always his fault.  
  
He pulled the boy into his arms, embracing him tightly; willing his own life force to leave him and bring back the glow to those beautiful green eyes.  
  
~"I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."~  
  
------------------------  
  
Night had fallen, bathing the infirmary in moonlight. Hisoka thought about getting up from his seat next to Tsusuki's bed to turn on the light, but he never managed to do it.  
  
Tsusuki would be ok. Watari said so, so it had to be true. Still, seeing him sleeping so innocently, with a frown on his face that spoke of bad dreams not even the most potent of sedatives could keep away made Hisoka's heart hurt.   
  
It was silly staying by his bedside all night, as Tatsumi had pointed out. Tsusuki wasn't unconscious, he wasn't hurt,- apart from the scratch of his cheek- he was just sleeping. And yet Hisoka couldn't bring himself to leave him.   
  
He brushed a few stray locks form the older man's brow tenderly a few times, but the rebel hairs always seemed to find their way back; so Hisoka just kept caressing his hair as many times as needed, and then some.  
  
He could tell when the nightmares would get worse. The frown would deepen and Tsusuki's eyes would move frantically under the eyelids. Hisoka then would sooth him by whispering words of comfort and tugging him back into the safety of the covers.   
  
Once touching Tsusuki would upset Hisoka. The flood of emotions would be too much for him to bare. Tsusuki had a big heart; one that not always carried pleasant feelings; but Hisoka had learned to cope with it somewhere along the line. It was amazing, he thought, that he could touch Tsusuki now, when the older man radiated anguish, and he wasn't pulling away; the emotions weren't invading his own heart. He could feel them, but he could also feel how they'd lessen with every caress, and that made him want to keep touching him.   
  
It was almost midnight when the worst nightmare attacked his partner. This time Hisoka did have to keep the feelings away as much as he could. Tsusuki was terrified. The older man felt guilty and scared and he didn't need to be an empath to realise. The sleeping form of his friend, that had been calm just a few moments before, begun trashing on the bed, once again throwing the covers off his body. Hisoka came closer to him, holding him as much as he could. Tsusuki's arms went around his waist tightly, almost knocking the air out of his lungs, as the older man whimpered.  
  
"Shhh, It's ok. Everything's ok." Hisoka whispered, rubbing Tsusuki's back in circles.   
  
"Hijiri..." Tsusuki whispered and Hisoka froze in his place.   
  
Tears begun forming but he didn't let it stop him from comforting his friend.  
  
"It's ok, Tsusuki." He cooed, his voice braking. "I love you. I know you don't love me, but I'll still love you and take care of you." He kissed the top of the other man's head sweetly, wiping his tears with one hand and reluctantly pulling away from the embrace. "I have to go for a while, ok? Don't wake up yet." he smiled. Taking advantage of the fact that there were no witnesses, Hisoka gave in to his impulse and kissed Tsusuki's lips softly, causing new tears to fall. "You'll never be alone again."  
  
---------------------  
  
Watari stirred in his sleep and Tatsumi tightened his hold of the blond to prevent him falling flat on his behind from the chair they were currently sharing; so to speak, since Watari was actually sitting on his lap.   
  
The shadow master refused to go home while Tsusuki rested in the infirmary, yet he couldn't bring himself to go there and stay with his friend. He knew Hisoka would be there, and thought it inappropriate to interrupt their privacy. He couldn't hide his concern, though. In spite of everything, he still had a soft spot for Tsusuki. He wanted to stay close in case he was needed.   
  
Seeing Tatsumi so worried, the scientist had insisted to stay with him in the office while he tried to finish the work of the day, that had been left unfinished by matters beyond his control. But the genki blond just wouldn't let him work. If it wasn't Watari trying to jump his bones every two seconds, it was him falling asleep sitting on his lap after half an hour of constant attention to his neck. Not that Tatsumi minded, but he was running through his wardrobe in his mind, trying to remember if he owned a turtle neck.  
  
At that moment he was trying to write a report with one hand and hold Watari in place with the other. The scientist stirred again and Tatsumi sighed, putting the pen down.   
  
When Watari was, as he'd said it, 'kissing him silly', Tatsumi's brain wouldn't be reacting much. At that moment though, he was in complete use of his cerebral functions. For some reason, to have Watari sleeping in his arms that way was too intimate for him to be comfortable. The feelings the blond was stirring were new to him. Tatsumi wasn't a man who'd let his emotions rule him. Of course, he'd avoided acknowledging his emotions all his life, and everything that would cause them to surface.   
  
Only two people could make the control he had over his emotions slip away. Tsusuki and no Watari. And at that moment, he was affected by both, trying to decide which one should be more important.  
  
Watari stirred again.  
  
"Mmmm, ferrous sulphate and then..." the blond mumbled.  
  
  
  
"You'll be the death of me, you know that?" he said with a smile forming on his lips, kissing the blond's forehead. "Watari..." Tatsumi shook him a little and tucked a few locks from the now messy blond hair behind his ear, admiring the beautiful, peaceful face of his...friend...his...Well, lover wasn't the right word,...not yet. Boyfriend? That sounded silly. The man in question stirred again, but didn't wake up. "Watari, sweetie c'mon, wake up."  
  
Immediately, two hazel, amused eyes opened wide.  
  
"What did you call me?" the blond said, very much awake. Tatsumi could only gape at the man in his arms. Watari laughed and straightened on the shadow master's lap. "I like it."   
  
"Did you sleep well?" Tatsumi said amusedly.   
  
"Wonderfully." Watari snuggled closer to the other man and sighed contently. "You're so comfy."  
  
The secretary hugged him tight.  
  
"Watari...shouldn't we...? I don't know, shouldn't you...check on Tsusuki or something?"  
  
Watari sighed.  
  
"I don't think so. He just needs his rest."  
  
"But maybe...Are you sure he's ok? I mean..."  
  
Watari stood up and ran a hand through his hair, trying anxiously to fix it, obviously upset.  
  
"Why don't you go check on him if you want to so much?" the scientist spat.   
  
Tatsumi blinked, confused.  
  
"What did I do now?"  
  
Watari approached him again, looking at him sadly.   
  
"Tatsumi..." he was trying to find a way to say it without sounding like a jealous maniac. "Look, I don't expect you to... I..." God, this was hard! "How...do you feel about me?"  
  
"Watari..." Tatsumi stared at him, at a loss for words. Truth was, he didn't know the answer to that.  
  
"Ok, no. Forget I asked that." Watari was getting frustrated. "What do you feel about Tsusuki? I don't care if you don't love me yet. I mean, really; it's not like we're even a couple yet. I mean, I do ...love you, but...if you...If you love him I understand. I just..."  
  
He never got to finish that. Tatsumi stood up in the middle of his ranting and took him into his arms, kissing him passionately.  
  
------------------  
  
Tsusuki had woken up sometime in the middle of the night to find the infirmary empty.   
  
He couldn't help to feel a little disappointed that no one had been there to greet him, but it was very late; he couldn't expect anyone to miss their sleep for him.  
  
His nightmares were still haunting him, even after half an hour of being awake. He just couldn't forget. Muraki's words had scarred him deeply. The doctor had been right; of course.   
  
But it was still hard to believe he could be so blind. He honestly hadn't meant to hurt Hijiri. He did care about the young man. He was being selfish. He just didn't want to be alone; and that was exactly what Hijiri was promising him. Company.   
  
He couldn't decide what to do yet, but he knew he needed to talk to the young man. Tell him the truth. Maybe leaving the decision to Hijiri was taking the easy way out; he was getting good at that. But a part of him he was starting to despise, convinced him that everything would have been better if he would have been able to die, as he'd wanted to. It wasn't his choice to be alive and so he didn't understand why he had to suffer for it.  
  
He wasn't sure how much time had passed. He was sitting on his bed, staring idly out the window, trying to rid his mind of the memories of his nightmares and his life, that pretty much resembled a nightmare, when Hijiri poked his head inside the room.   
  
The young man looked tired, but still greeted him with a smile.  
  
"Hey, there. You're awake."  
  
Startled, Tsusuki stared at his form, outlined by shadows. For a moment, he thought he saw the Hijiri of his nightmares, but it only lasted a second before the young man stepped further into the room and he could see the beautiful green eyes filled with life and affection. He couldn't control himself; he just jumped out of bed and pulled Hijiri into a tight hug.  
  
"You're ok, you're ok..." he repeated over and over again.   
  
Hijiri hugged him even tighter, soothing him.  
  
"Everything's ok. See?"  
  
Tsusuki pulled away just enough so he could see the younger man's face and stared at him confusedly.  
  
"What are you doing here? How did you...?"  
  
Hijiri shrugged.  
  
"Hisoka." he said simply.  
  
Tsusuki was even more confused than before. Why would Hisoka go look for him? Why had he cared?  
  
As if sensing his confusion, Hijiri smiled and brushed his lips against Tsusuki's tenderly.  
  
"It's so hard to believe he cares about you?" he said somewhat sadly.  
  
Tsusuki's heart filled with guilt and regret. In his own turmoil he had forgotten that Hisoka really did care about him. Maybe not the way he wanted him to care; but he'd been blind in thinking the younger shinigami hated him. Amazingly enough, it had been Muraki the one to make him realise how stupid he'd been. The last thing he wanted now was to be with Hijiri. He didn't love him, he'd never love him; but he still cared about him.  
  
Something flickered in Hijiri's eyes; something like surprise and pain, and Tsusuki wondered if the younger man knew what his feelings really were.   
  
Tsusuki pulled away from the embrace, turning his back to Hijiri. It was over before it had even started, Tsusuki realised, and he wondered if he'd managed to hurt Hijiri; to hurt someone again out of his own selfishness and idiocy.  
  
"Hijiri, I think..."  
  
The younger man walked in front of him. There was something in his eyes he couldn't identify; he took his face with both hands and smiled.  
  
"I love you so much." he whispered, and leaned over to kiss him.  
  
"Hijiri, wait...I..."  
  
"It's ok. I know." he kissed Tsusuki deeply. Tsusuki lost himself in the kiss. He couldn't help himself; it felt so good to have all that affection directed at him. Hijiri broke the kiss, panting. The desire in his eyes was evident, and Tsusuki had to admit that he also wanted him at that moment. "Just tonight?" the young man whispered and Tsusuki, without thinking, kissed the human again.  
  
TBC  
  
Now to the contest!!  
  
1) Completely unrelated question: Has the season of Angel started in America already?  
  
2) I'm getting one of the YNM anime VHS for my birthday. What do you say? Kyoto arc or The devil's thrill arc? I can't decide which I want more.  
  
3) If I get to 50 reviews with this chapter, I swear I'll give you all this really kawaii picture I've found of chibi Tsusuki and chibi Hisoka wearing bunny outfits!! I promise!! *-*  
  
And to the thank you's!!!! @-@  
  
Doger-chan, every single review fills my heart with joy and has me singing x-mass carols like a complete lunatic, so thank you!! I think...heh. And I agree, How could they leave the St. Michael's arc out?! It's so good! Tsusuki cookies for you!  
  
Kyraille Fade, I was so worried about Tatsumi in the last chapter, but you totally understood what I was trying to do! I'm glad you liked it!  
  
What do you mean they don't have the new year's bit? Isn't that the part with the hot springs?! They left drunk and sexy Tsusuki out?! Waaaaaaah! And yeah, Tsusuki as a priest *drool* I promise I'm reading your fic probably as you read this, so wait for my review. I'd give you Tsusuki cookies if you promise me you won't get a sugar-high, ok?  
  
Tifa...yeah, I settle for Tifa cuz it's shorter *lazy stretch* What does your other name mean though? I love it! I hope you like this chapter. There'll be plenty Tsu/soka goodness next chapter, but this one has some. You like? Anyway, you get Tsusuki cookies, or as I like to call them, Tsucookies!   
  
Miyahara Yuki!! The best ficcy you've ever read?! *shimmering eyes* Waaaaaaah! Thank you!!! Even if you threatened me!!! Waaaaaaaaah!! Tsusuki cookies for you!!  
  
Kitana, like the weapon? You reviewed chapter one, did you like the rest? A Tsusuki plushie for you for being your first time reviewing!  
  
  
  
Remember people! 50 review next time! *-*  
  
Ja ne! 


	9. 9

A/N: Hi there! So sorry this is taking longer than expected. Last weekend was hectic and chap. 8 was hard to write so I couldn't finish the fic when I had planned to. I'm sure it will be over by this weekend. I can't update as much during the week because sadly, I do have what resembles a life.   
  
About the Oriya/Muraki bit in the middle. I beg you forgive me, I just thought of that scene and had to add it. I know it seems out of place, but think of it this way; every bit is meant to describe an intimate moment between the characters, and I thought it was the perfect opportunity to give the good doctor some closure. I hope you don't hate me for it.  
  
BTW, big turn is here. Fasten your seatbelts and good bye to all you readers that will hate me after this chappy. It's been nice having you here while it lasted. T.T  
  
Ah, and you are so going to hate me because this isn't even orange; it's Tang (just in case, no I don't own Tang either). I am not comfortable writing "scenes". Not because I'm a prude (I am, but shhhh) but because I don't want them to be all clichéd and anatomically descriptive. We can all use our imagination, we know what's down there. There's no use for nomenclature, ne?   
  
Anyway, go to http://www.geocities.com/evolution2476/ow for the bunny picture. There's some others you may wanna check.   
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
Tsusuki wanted to stop. No, not to stop; what the shinigami wanted was to want to stop, because honestly, he didn't want, nor could stop kissing the boy in his arms.  
  
Just a few moments before it had all made so much sense in his head, about why being with Hijiri would be wrong. But this *didn't* feel wrong!  
  
The most complicated part was that he couldn't really think of a reason to stop. Somewhere in the back of his brain he knew he didn't love Hijiri, and that should have been reason enough. Should have but wasn't, because at that moment he did feel something for him. And, oh how Tsusuki wished what he felt was lust! He'd be able to control lust; he wasn't as impulsive as everyone thought. Ok, so, yeah, but not *all* the time. Not now.  
  
And it wasn't just comfort, like he'd felt the night before. Though comfort certainly played a big part. Comfort because that young man, while he was kissing him, took all the pain away. He wasn't the monster he'd been in life; he wasn't the murderer he'd been in death. He was just Tsusuki.  
  
All he knew was that the slender body in his arms, the soft, warm lips, felt like coming home.   
  
Shaky, delicate fingers un-tugged his shirt and sought to touch warm skin, making Tsusuki shiver. He broke the kiss and stared at the beautiful green orbs staring fixedly at the hand caressing his stomach. The boy looked transfixed and terrified.  
  
Tsusuki cupped his cheek with one hand, gently caressing it with his thumb.  
  
"I want you so much." he said, his voice hoarse. Hijiri gasped, meeting his gaze with eyes open wide. They were slightly moist and his whole body was starting to shake badly, making Tsusuki worry. "Are you scared?" he smiled gently, never stopping his caress on the boy's cheek. Hijiri nodded. "It's ok. We can stop if that's what you want." Tsusuki's smile widened to show he was serious.  
  
Hijiri took a deep breath.  
  
"I thought...I thought you didn't love me, but you...you act like you do and I..."  
  
A few tears escaped the boy's eyes and Tsusuki, crestfallen, wiped them away tenderly.  
  
"Hijiri...I don't know. I honestly don't know, but I do care about you and if this is hurting you in any way..."  
  
Hijiri shook his head no, smiling; though the tears kept falling.  
  
"You're not hurting me. You could never hurt me. I'm being selfish here. I want to make you happy so much, even if it's just for one night. But it's still..."  
  
The shinigami pulled the boy into a tight embrace.  
  
"You don't need to do this to make me happy." he whispered.  
  
"Then let me do it because I want to." Hijiri said kissing his shoulder and resuming his caress. "I want you."  
  
---------------  
  
Tatsumi was out of control.  
  
He should have known it would happen; from the moment he'd kissed Watari that morning, he'd unleashed some sort of beast inside himself. Now the beast was out; so to speak.   
  
It was like hunger, Tatsumi thought; like starving for weeks and the someone comes and gives you a piece of bread and you know you should eat it slowly but you just cant.   
  
Watari was no piece of ordinary bread though. The man was glorious. The feel; the taste of him was feeding the beast inside of him in a way Tatsumi had never known before. And instead of saciating his need, it only made it stronger.   
  
Somehow Watari had ended up pressed against the office wall. As soon as his back had touched the wall, the scientist's legs went around the other man's hips and Tatsumi didn't need to ask himself if he was pushing the other man to do something he didn't want anymore. There was no question about Watari wanting this as much as he did.   
  
Reluctantly, Tatsumi broke the never ending kiss, only to reveal on the gracious swan-like neck's taste, while he tried to get the top off his friend's body; the lab coat forgotten long ago. Seeing as the task was impossible while he was standing, holding the weight of the other man, Tatsumi slid to the floor. When the sky blue sweater was off, Tatsumi stared in frustration at the black turtle neck that still covered Watari's skin.   
  
The scientist smiled wickedly and his hands went straight to Tatsumi's tie, at the same time pushing Tatsumi to a laying position on the floor. Watari positioned himself on top of the other man, expertly undoing the tie in a matter of seconds. The shadow master was about to protest, but Watari put a finger to his lips.  
  
"Let me help, ok?"   
  
There was something about being in that position that made Tatsumi nervous. Besides, while he was trying to not simply devour the other man, Watari seemed odly calmed; exited, yes; in a hurry, no.  
  
"But...but..." his words died in his throat as Watari took his top of and toss it aside, leaning to kiss him again.   
  
Tatsumi groaned in pleasure when he was finally able to touch his friend's skin. It was so soft and inviting; he just couldn't get enough of it. Before he had time to ask how it had happened, his own shirt was off and Watari was trailing kisses down his chest.  
  
-----------------  
  
The whistle from the kettle brought Oriya back to reality. He shook himself from his thoughts and poured the boiling water into a cup.  
  
To an outside observer, it would have seemed as if the dark haired man had found some universal truth inside the tea cup. The truth was, he was just finding it hard to concentrate on such a mundane task.  
  
He wasn't complaining. Oh, no! He really loved the opportunity to take care of Muraki. He was finally useful to the good doctor. It was all he'd ever asked for; what he'd dreamt of doing for so many years, never really hoping it would come true. And now he had his wish. But should he really feel good about that?   
  
Muraki really depended on him to cover even his most basic needs. The doctor wouldn't even remember to eat if Oriya wasn't there to remind him. Most of the time Oriya had to ask himself if it was really Muraki he was taking care off and not his empty body.   
  
Oriya had almost felt joy when he'd seen Muraki had lost his reasons for doing what was driving him further and further away from humanity. He'd wanted Muraki to be what he'd used to be when they'd first met. And yes, Muraki the killer had died, but also had his friend. The man he loved wasn't there anymore. He'd died in Kyoto.   
  
He realised that the tea had turned too dark while he was distracted with his meditations. The swordsman removed the tea bag, praying Muraki wouldn't notice; he took the tea cup with both hands and turned around. There was no kitchen door to cross; he barely needed to walk a few steps to reach Muraki, who was sited on a cheap leather couch staring curiously at the doll Oriya had brought for him.   
  
Such a man was destined for greatness, Oriya mused, not a cheap motel room. He couldn't wait to get back home and away from that shinigami infested town.   
  
Oriya knelt down next to the silver haired man, handing him the cup. But the other man wouldn't react, so Oriya placed a hand on his shoulder and spoke softly.  
  
"Here, Sensei. I made you a cup of warm tea."   
  
"Why are you here?" Muraki asked suddenly, never taking his eyes from the doll he wa holding.  
  
Oriya blinked; Muraki didn't sound upset, just curious. Yet Oriya could see the man's hands shaking and his knuckles white, griping the doll for dear life.  
  
"Sensei, I just came to take you home, I..."  
  
Muraki stood up without warning, ripping the doll's head off and knocking the cup Oriya was holding to the floor. The swordsman could barely back away in time to dodge the blow that was so obviously meant for him.  
  
"I know what you want!" Muraki hissed and Oriya gasped, seeing his friend's eye burning with life again; with life and anger. The doctor knelt in front of him, taking his chin with one hand and smiling viciously. "Tell, me Oriya; tell me you want me to fuck you." Oriya swallowed the lump on his throat and turned his face away from the sarcastic expression on Muraki's face. "That's it, isn't it? You're jealous; jealous because it wasn't you I wanted. And here you are, begging for crumbs. God, you're pathetic!"   
  
Oriya wasn't hurt; he wasn't offended by Muraki's disdainful laugh. He simply stood up and dusted his clothes. Crumbs was all he could get; he may have been pathetic, but he was man enough to admit it.  
  
"Would you like another cup of tea?" he asked, avoiding Muraki's gaze.  
  
He was violently pushed against the wall, but made no attempt to fight back. Muraki's face was inches away from his own; and the doctor was angry.  
  
"You poor excuse for a person!" the doctor spat. "I'll never, *ever* want you. All I feel for you is disgust." the last bit was said in a whisper; Muraki was quickly loosing his previous energy, as it always happened.  
  
Oriya put his arms around of his friend's battered form.  
  
"I know. It's ok. You shouldn't strain yourself like this. Let me help you back to your sit. Ok?"   
  
The silver haired man leaned into the embrace, resting his head on Oriya's shoulder.  
  
"Why do you still care? Look at me." he whispered as Oriya led him to the couch.  
  
"I'll always care. I'm pathetic, remember?" the swordsman said with a smile.  
  
They settled on the couch, this time Oriya holding Muraki while the other man calmed down. One day, Oriya hoped, the good doctor would have one of his lucid moments and stay there. That day he'd stop taking crumbs.  
  
He just wondered if he really wanted that to happen.  
  
--------------------  
  
"Wait! Wait, let me do it!"   
  
Watari stopped trying to undo Tatsumi's belt, throwing his hands into the air in defeat.  
  
"Hurry!" the scientist cried.   
  
By Enma, where did the man buy that stupid belt!?  
  
Tatsumi desperately fumbled with the damn thing, frowning until it came undone. Triumphantly he took it off completely, making it resemble a whip- which made Watari shiver in delight, by the way- and tossed it aside.   
  
Relieved, Watari- clothed only in his boxers now- leaned and kissed Tatsumi again.   
  
"I'm *kiss* going to *kiss* buy you suspenders. *kiss*" Tatsumi snorted, but of course the sound came out muffled by the other man's lips, and ended up sounding more like a raspberry. Watari stopped kissing him and raised an eyebrow. "What?! They're sexy!"  
  
"You get me suspenders. I'll buy you some decent underwear." Honest, a grown man with teddy bears on his boxers!   
  
Watari was about to retort, but thought better. Who needed underwear anyway?  
  
Tatsumi was having fun. He should probably tell Watari to wait a little while he checked if the world was ending. After fumbling with his own pants, realising he should have taken his shoes off first; after Watari mocking him about how ridiculous he looked with only his boxers and his dark socks, Tatsumi concluded that he was, for the first time in his adult life and after life, having fun.  
  
All coherent thought abandoned them both though, as soon as Tatsumi pulled Watari against him once more and they could both feel the other's arousal, restrained only by two fine layers of silk. Ok, ok, one layer of silk, one cotton. You can guess which was which.  
  
Who'd thought? Tatsumi mused as he rolled them around on the floor and positioned himself on top of Watari making a slight movement of his hips that had been absolutely unintentional, but never-the-less rewarding and had them both seeing stars. Here he was, the stuck up secretary- yes, he knew what they said behind his back- about to have sex with a co-worker, a male co-worker, on his office's floor. And he wasn't even thinking about scolding the cleaning lady for the dust he could see under his desk!  
  
The thought would have scared him any other time, at that moment he could only think about how beautiful Watari looked; about how much he wanted him. But it all came crashing down when he was supposed to rid Watari of his underwear. He froze, completely.  
  
It was stupid; he knew it was stupid. He'd already seen Watari naked; Watari had seen him naked. Why would this be any different?  
  
Watari stared at him confusedly, wondering why he wasn't in cloud nine like he'd been a few seconds before. He noted curiously that Tatsumi, who was kneeling on the floor next to him, was playing with the waste band of his boxers like a kid who plays with his vegetables. Watari sat up, but the other man never lost his focus of the bit of underwear he had between his fingers.  
  
"Seiichirou?" Watari asked hesitantly.   
  
That, of course, got Tatsumi's attention, who looked up to meet Watari's gaze with a disgusted frown.  
  
"Why'd you do that for?" the secretary whined.  
  
Watari smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Well, since you and I..." he motioned to their half naked selves. "...are getting to know each other better and all, I thought..."  
  
Tatsumi snorted.  
  
"What? Would you like me calling you Yutaka?"  
  
'Oh...' Watari thought, making the same disgusted face.  
  
"I see your point there...uh, Tatsumi." Tatsumi smiled a little, but soon sighed and looked down, shaking his head. Worried that he'd changed his mind, Watari leaned closer to the other man and hugged him loosely, making sure to give Tatsumi space and don't threaten him. "What is it?"  
  
"I just can't believe I'm actually doing this." Tatsumi said looking incredulous.   
  
'Darn, I let him think too much!' Watari kicked mentally himself. Tatsumi looked at him and what Watari saw reflected on the secretary's eyes made his heart skip a bit. Ok, so maybe Tatsumi thinking wasn't that bad after all.  
  
"I'm really doing this." Tatsumi sounded almost giddy. Watari tightened his hold of the other man.  
  
"I'll make sure you don't regret it."   
  
---------------------  
  
All it could be heard inside the infirmary was the deep, rhythmical breathing of the two people lying on the bed, with the exception of the sporadic gasps or whispered encouragements.   
  
Tsusuki was mesmerized by the face of the boy underneath him; sometimes contorted with pain, sometimes with pleasure. The huge, green eyes were staring into his own, shedding a few tears that Tsusuki knew weren't from sadness. He'd kiss the tears away as soon as they fell. There was so much tenderness in Tsusuki's every touch that instead of stopping them, the tears kept falling from the emerald eyes.  
  
Their rhythm was lazy; they were both trying to enjoy the moment for as long as they could. They were as close as they'd ever been to any other person in all their lives and the thought of it ending was something they both dreaded.   
  
Tsusuki couldn't remember having sex to feel so...intimate. But that would mean he wasn't just having sex, and that he didn't want to consider. Not yet.   
  
Still, he'd have to admit that whatever it was, it was far from being about satisfying a physical urge. They were sharing themselves; connected and completely attuned with the other. It was the closest Tsusuki had ever felt to happiness. Whatever had been the circumstances, Tsusuki's heart was filled with something that felt very much like love.   
  
The grip the young man had on Tsusuki was desperate; his kisses were desperate. Tsusuki thought it was as if Hijiri was afraid he'd died once the night was over and he had to go back to reality. The shinigami wasn't sure the boy was the only one afraid of that.   
  
Tsusuki buried his face on the crook of the young man's shoulder, gritting his teeth to stifle a scream as their rhythm quickened. The delicate hands loosened their grip of his back and gently caressed his hair.  
  
"I love you, Tsusuki." the boy said hoarsely.  
  
Tsusuki could feel his control slipping away. It was glorious and tragic at the same time. The sensations that the young man, so selflessly giving himself, was rousing in him were the most wonderful he'd felt ever, but he knew it was only a matter of seconds before it was over.  
  
Amethyst eyes shut tight and Tsusuki heard the boy crying out his name as he climaxed, sending him over the edge.  
  
"God, I love you." he cried; his body, that had been so full of energy just a few moments before, fell limply on top the young man's. With the little strength he had left, feeling completely elated, Tsusuki pulled the boy into a tight embrace. "I love you, Hisoka."  
  
He heard the sharp intake of breath coming from the body next to him, and it was that what tipped Tsusuki off about what he'd just said. His eyes opened wide in shock, staring to the equally shocked green eyes that were starting to water.  
  
Tsusuki bolted out of bed, horrified, while tears begun forming in his own eyes.  
  
"Tsusuki..."  
  
The man in question averted his gaze and rushed to find his pants, trying to erase the image of Hijiri's eyes out of his mind.   
  
"I'm...I..." he begun mumbling, not able to form a coherent sentence as he jumped into his trousers and made a dash for the door. "I'm sorry."  
  
The boy, dumbfounded, stared at the door as it closed behind the other man.   
  
Nobody was there to see his emerald eyes cloud with tears of shock and happiness. Nobody was there to see the mass of black hair that he was now holding tightly between his fingers; his hands resting on his lap.  
  
TBC  
  
O.k...I hope I still have your attention here.  
  
I have another YNM story, 600 and something words, real short; a Hisoka P.O.V. By no means I'm fishing for reviews. I have four and honestly, four reviews for 600 and something words is like a lot, but I want your opinion on whether I should write the sequel or not. So, if you have the time, read it and tell me when you review this.   
  
I'm still gonna make a contest. Maybe if I bribe you into reading the next chapter it will all be ok, heh heh...(nervous laugh, btw) x_x  
  
1) In the Oriya/Muraki part, there's a phrase based on a line from a TV Show. 10 points if you figure out the show and 20 if you can quote the original line.  
  
2) For those who go to the url to pick up the pic, there's one about someone I believe is Tsusuki, reading a book. Please someone tell me who he is for real, because it's driving me nuts!  
  
3) Of course there's a reward for the reviews alone. I know I'm running out of ideas for the prices, so if you want to make suggestions, feel free, cuz cookies aren't doing the trick any more @-@  
  
And for the prizes!!  
  
Yay! 53 reviews!! I love you!  
  
Sheera's Greywolf, here you have your Tsusuki plushie for reviewing the first time, like I've given everyone. Sorry you were left out last time, FFnet is not sending me the e-mails warning me about reviews anymore and I didn't realise until I noticed three days had passed and I still didn't get any reviews for last chapter.   
  
Madiha, Tsusuki cookies for you. I see you understand my dilemma about what to get for my birthday. Thanks for trying tho. *-*  
  
dodger-chan. Of course Tsusuki made the cookies!! *Tsusuki nods proudly, handing the basket of cookies he made with all his love* *Konnie-chan waits 'til Tsusuki isn't looking and whispers* I changed the cookies, you can eat them. Btw, I hope that by people festering you for attention you don't mean like teachers or boss, I'd hate to be the cause of you getting fired or flunking out! Anyway, thank you for still liking it!  
  
Tifa, Yuu Yuu Hakushou eh? I've never seen that. Is it good? I keep hearing people mentioning it, I'm starting to get curious. And Yay, you really mean that about this being your only reason to come here? Awwwww people like me! Or my story, pffff, same difference. o-O Tsusuki cookies for you!  
  
Miyahara Yuuki, I promised the bunny pic, you get the bunny pic. *-* Was this Tsu/soka enough for you? I really hope you liked it. There's still some angst too come but, as I said, there'll be a happy ending. Probably stinking with fluffiness. Here're your cookies, do they taste nice?  
  
last waltz, thank god there was no gun this time! Phew... Since you only got one plushie and you seem to like huggling 'Soka-chan, here's a Hisoka plushie for ya!  
  
Cofi...what can I say? Considering you were the only one who realised, I don't feel I made it too obvious. Girl you're a genius! I was so happy to read your review, because the truth was just about to come out and so it didn't ruin the surprise! How did you figure it out? And LOL@ the glasses thing. I swear I hadn't noticed, and I wear glasses! I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. Just pretend one of them took his glasses off before kissing? Tsusuki plushie for you...Huh, never had a fan before...  
  
Serenity!!!!! Serenity please don't hate me!!! I almost don't do it just because of you!! T.T I'll try to write a Hijiri/Tsusuki fic for you, ok? Anyway, good to have you back! Even if I'm about to loose you again! Waaaaaaaaah! Please forgive me!!! Extra Tsusuki and Hijiri cookies for you!!!  
  
Ja ne!! 


	10. 10

A/N: Well, last chapter went well. I was so nervous!!   
  
Anyway, there should probably be two or three chapters ahead of us. I want to wrap this up neatly. I hate rushed endings, and I love epilogues so there's still some ground to cover. Don't abandon me yet! The best part is yet to come!! *-*  
  
You've all been so patient and nice to me *sniff*. I don't really want to finish this fic! Who knows if I'm ever going to write something that you like as much!! Waaaaah!!!  
  
By the way, there isn't much Tsusuki-ness in this chappy. I'm saving that for the next.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL   
  
The office floor wasn't particularly comfy. It was one of those ceramic floors; cold and hard and yes, Tatsumi had to admit it, cheap. Not the best place to be laying around butt naked in the dead of the night. In all honesty, though, Tatsumi had never had a better night of sleep in his life.   
  
As if he'd be able to stay awake! Tatsumi was still in shock; never had he pledged Watari for someone as...enthusiastic. Of course, even if it had been just one time, Tatsumi would have still had more sex than he'd gotten in decades. But three times?!  
  
After a few hours of pleasant sleep though, he was simply enjoying snuggling with his sleeping beauty. Absently he realised he was lucky to have woken up in the middle of the night. Someone finding them in that compromising position in the morning would have been disastrous. As it was, he had enough time to let himself enjoy the moment.   
  
Almost in a trance, he stroked the golden hair that fell cascading around his friend's body. Watari's porcelain skin still glistened with perspiration and Tatsumi snickered. Men sweated, they didn't perspire. And yet Watari was far from needing a bath as much as he did.   
  
He knew he should get up and take a shower; soon, because he was starting to stink. He was afraid to wake Watari up, not ready for another 'round'. He wasn't sure he'd ever be ready after that night. With a smile he thought he certainly hoped he would.  
  
Reluctantly, and being very careful not to disturb the scientist, Tatsumi fetched his pants and underwear, dressing himself just enough for the walk to the bathroom. One look at Watari's sleeping face frowning at the loss of contact and Tatsumi felt he couldn't just leave the poor man sleeping alone on the stone cold floor.   
  
He picked Watari's lab coat up and rudimentary wrapped it around his friend's body, picking him up. He poked his head outside, making sure there were no lingering shinigamis that might caught him red-handed and left the office with the blond in his arms.  
  
He made it to the lab in record time; bare footed and making it clear he was, indeed, the shadow master. Knowing that Watari kept a makeshift bed on his lab- courtesy of his countless nights of working, sleep deprived, on his deluded projects- Tatsumi figured the man would be more comfortable there. Who knew, he might even join him after the shower.   
  
003 slept peacefully on her perch, her head buried deep into her shoulders making her look like a feathery ball. An owl sleeping at those hours could mean one of two things; either dawn was just around the corner, or that owl was as crazy as her owner. Tatsumi opted for leaving that question unanswered, considering the lunatic in question was now his lover.  
  
As soon as his head was resting on the pillow, Watari made some pleased sounds and snuggled between the covers. Tenderly, Tatsumi tucked him in and placed kiss on the scientist forehead.   
  
Being as quiet as he'd been getting in, Tatsumi walked to the door. He winced a little when it creaked, pausing to see if he'd woken Watari up. The scientist did stir a little, but that was it. On his way out, Tatsumi thought he heard the other man whisper groggily "...you have to beg..." before turning around. A pleasant shiver ran through his spine, the phrase stirring memories of a few hours before and he shook his head with a smile before closing the door behind him.  
  
He hadn't realised how sore his muscles were until the hot water begun spraying over his body, comforting them. He hadn't realised how distracted he'd been until he'd regained focus. Against all odds though, when Tatsumi was able to meditate about the events of that night, there wasn't a hint of regret. On the contrary, now that his head was clear, Tatsumi could really appreciate what it all meant, and he was actually happy about it.  
  
As collected and emotionally controlled as one may be, it's always nice to have someone to unwind with; someone to take care of and care about, that would do the same for you. Maybe, just maybe, Watari could be that for him. And if that wasn't the case -though he really wished it would be-, the scientist had opened Tatsumi's eyes; he didn't want to be alone anymore.  
  
He checked his reflection on the mirror and smiled. For some reason he felt very good; relaxed. Buttoning the clean shirt he'd put on, he made his way back to the lab, whistling happily.   
  
He was about to open the door to the lab, when from the corner of his eye he saw the infirmary door. He hesitated, thinking about paying Tsusuki a visit. He'd already changed his mind, remembering Watari's previous words, but he thought he heard something coming from there; something that sounded like sobbing. Surely Watari wouldn't resent him if he checked on Tsusuki then, would he?  
  
---------------  
  
Hisoka saw the door opening slowly and jumped from the spot he'd been sitting on. He wiped his eyes fast, trying to get rid of the evidence that he'd been crying; hoping beyond hope that it was Tsusuki who'd decided to come back.   
  
He'd spent hours looking in vain for his partner, trying to find him to explain what he'd done and ask for forgiveness. The sole idea of Tsusuki hurting because of him made him want to scream. All he'd done was meant to spare Tsusuki pain, not to cause it. God knew he'd suffered enough with his actions; to think it had all been a terrible mistake surely wasn't comforting.   
  
A little voice inside his head was screaming, alright; but it's screams were those of happiness. Tsusuki loved *him*, not Hijiri. Never mind he was an empath and should have realised. He'd never had anyone caring about him; specially not in that way. How was he supposed to know?   
  
It had been amazing and definitively frightening when Tsusuki had been oozing desire for him; or Hijiri...it hadn't mattered, because he'd felt it directed at him, and he'd almost managed to believe it. It had felt a little like what he'd felt from Muraki that time but...he didn't know what was different; all he knew for sure is that while one feeling had scared and repelled him, the other had drove him closer to the other man.   
  
Hisoka's face fell when it was Tatsumi and not Tsusuki who entered the infirmary, but still tried to keep the pretence. The other man looked at him confusedly and then at the empty bed. Hisoka guessed it didn't take a genius to realise something was wrong. He was sure his eyes were still red and Tsusuki wasn't there. True enough, Tatsumi's face, that had looked particularly cheery upon entering, immediately changed into a frown.  
  
"Kurosaki-kun?"   
  
The shadow master noticed how worn out and upset Hisoka looked, and it filled him with unease. The youngest shinigami might have been the king of brooding, but he hardly showed his emotions so freely unless the matter was dead serious. And Tsusuki wasn't there...  
  
The boy shrugged and smiled, hiding his eyes behind his bangs and trying to ease the other man's worries, failing monumentally.  
  
"Ohayou Tatsumi-san."   
  
The older man looked at him sternly, not willing to beat around the bush.  
  
"Kurosaki-kun, where's Tsusuki?"  
  
Hisoka's smile wavered a little and his shoulders slumped.  
  
"I...don't know. I went looking for him but...I thought maybe he'd return...I did something really stupid."  
  
Tatsumi had heard that tone before. It was the tone of someone who regretted something terribly and didn't really feel like confessing it but their consciences wouldn't let them keep quiet. The shadow master sat quietly next to his young friend and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.  
  
"What did you do?" he asked softly.   
  
Hisoka took a deep breath and steeled himself. It wasn't so much that Tatsumi would probably kill him after he'd tell him, what he really feared was that once he'd told someone, it would become real and he wasn't sure he could deal with it.  
  
"I thought...well, you see...I was sure Tsusuki was in loved with Hijiri. Last time..." the shadow master didn't let him finish.  
  
"You thought *what*?!" the secretary's eyes were incredulous. He shook his head then; he wasn't sure what was ok for him to say, not knowing what had happened between Hisoka and Tsusuki, but the thought made him want to laugh. Seeing Hisoka's wince at his words made him guess the young shinigami wasn't that oblivious anymore. "I mean..." he motioned Hisoka to continue. "Please, go on."  
  
"As I said," Hisoka continued, "I thought Tsusuki was in loved with Hijiri. I was surprised because it made me jealous, you know? But I've known for some time...that I love him. I just...Tonight though,..."  
  
"What happened tonight?"   
  
Hisoka snorted in spite himself, as a tear trailed down his cheek. Tatsumi's tone was so sympathetic and understanding; surely he'd change his approach in a few seconds.  
  
"We, you know...Tsusuki and I, we...had, we made..." blushing furiously, he could only point to the bed to make himself clear.   
  
Tatsumi looked surprised and pleased, somehow.  
  
"But that's wonderful! Now he knows you love him and..." Tatsumi trailed off, seeing Hisoka didn't seem to agree with him. "Why aren't you happy?"  
  
"I thought he loved Hijiri; I would still think that if he hadn't said *my* name."  
  
He stared confusedly at the young man. Whatever Hisoka was trying to tell him seemed to escape him completely.  
  
"I don't understand..." again, he didn't get to finish what he was saying as Hisoka pulled a black wig from one of the pockets of his jacket and gave it to him. Maybe he didn't have his senses back yet, because he didn't know what it meant. Surely it couldn't mean what he was thinking! "Kurosaki-kun, tell me you didn't..."  
  
"I did." Hisoka answered with a pained smile.   
  
Tatsumi stood up abruptly, his expression screaming bloody murder.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?! I can't believe you'd do something so low! You've betrayed Tsusuki's trust and probably ruined his relationship with Hijiri for good because you were jealous?!"  
  
The young man gaped, doing a very good impression of a goldfish. Obviously he'd been to vague on his account because Tatsumi hadn't got half of it. Even when Tatsumi was angry with him for all the wrong reasons though, his murderous stare was still intimidating. Hisoka looked down and stammered.  
  
"No! ... no, you...you got it wrong, I..."  
  
Apparently that wasn't enough to placate the shadow master. Hisoka was starting to get seriously scared. Everyone in the Shonkan division knew that Tatsumi was a very practical and cold hearted person, *except* when Tsusuki was concerned. The older man was livid.   
  
"What is it I didn't get?! You made Tsusuki believe he was making love to his boyfriend!! How sick is that?!"  
  
Hisoka had suffered enough for one night to be scolded about something he hadn't done. He stood up and took the older man's arm, his face deadly serious.  
  
"I *am* Hijiri." Tatsumi was being extremely dense that night, Hisoka noted. The shadow master blinked a few times and Hisoka sighed. 'You want the long version? Fine.' he thought.   
  
-------------------  
  
Everyone had left the room, talking about how nice the afternoon had been and how good the food was.   
  
Hisoka stayed behind, lost in thought.   
  
It was obvious to him; he loved Tsusuki, but he was never going to be what the other man needed. Just seeing him with Hijiri, how happy and content he looked around the other boy, was enough. All he could ever do was to cause Tsusuki to cry or feel like an idiot. Ok, so, it wasn't hard to make Tsusuki cry, but still.  
  
And it was also obvious that Tsusuki felt something for the fiddler. He'd caught him staring at Hijiri with a wistful expression a few times. Tsusuki had been glued to Hijiri all afternoon; specially after Hisoka had attacked him with a piece of chocolate. The other boy had been there to comfort him and cheer him up all day. What had he done? He'd thrown candy at his partner's head.   
  
He felt the urge to talk with Hijiri. Not to apologize; he wasn't going to be caught dead apologizing to him. Hijiri may have been the right person for Tsusuki, but Hisoka still couldn't stand him. No, what he wanted was to set things straight and make sure Hijiri wasn't just playing with his partner. Tsusuki wasn't up to games. It hurt like hell, but for once he was going to do something good for Tsusuki.  
  
It was quite a run he had to make to catch up with the two before they left. Still, from a distance he could see them walking side by side. He didn't want to acknowledge how tenderly Tsusuki was looking at Hijiri.   
  
He reach them, panting. Immediately he felt Tsusuki's apprehension to his presence and he put up his shields as tight as he could, trying to keep his partner's feelings away. Hijiri's feelings he didn't have to sense; his eyes said it all. He also didn't have to actually feel it to know Tsusuki had been very surprised when he'd asked to talk with Hijiri, and quite nervous when the other boy accepted.   
  
He could cut the tension between them with a knife. If looks could kill, Hisoka would have died again; all the clichés that you could imagine about a tense situation, they would have applied to that moment.   
  
As soon as they were out of ear shot, Hisoka couldn't contain himself and snapped.   
  
"Look here," he said, waving a finger at the fiddler, trying to keep his voice down without toning his anger down. Hijiri's stare was throwing thunders at him, but he kept quiet until he was finished. "I don't know what you're playing at. If you think you can come and turn Tsusuki's world upside down and let everyone else deal with the consequences you're seriously mistaken. Tsusuki is very sensitive right now, so you better be serious about him or you'll have me to answer to, is that clear?!"  
  
Hijiri was fuming, but he also tried to keep his voice down. His words came out as a hiss.  
  
"You're one to talk. Who do you think you are? The only one with the right to use him as a punching ball?! If you were any crueller to him, you're be sadistic!! Need I remind you what happened a while ago? Who should be threatening who here?!"  
  
Bulls eye, Hisoka thought lowering his gaze. He'd know that without the need for Hijiri to remind him.  
  
"I know." he said softly. "That's why I wanted to talk to you. Tsusuki,...he needs someone at his side now, and he seems to want that someone to be you. I just wanted to make sure you felt the same. You're good to him."  
  
Hijiri opened his eyes, surprised, and laughed softly. The fiddler's expression softened.  
  
"You think Tsusuki loves *me*?"   
  
Hisoka blinked a few times.  
  
"Well, ...yeah. I know he does. I've seen him...I've felt..." he stammered a little.  
  
Hijiri got a strange gleam in his eyes and smiled mysteriously, confusing Hisoka further.   
  
"Oh, well. That would be a pity." the fiddler said, sounding like he didn't care much. Hisoka had to swallow the lump of his throat. "I mean...I care about him, yes. But love? I'm way too young for that, don't you think?"  
  
This was bad. This was really bad. Hisoka had seen it. Tsusuki really cared about Hijiri and the other boy didn't give a shit?   
  
"But...but...You're not making sense! I've seen you around him! You...you told him you love him! I heard you!"  
  
Hijiri shook his head sadly. Hisoka was tempted to lower his shields to see if the impression he got from him was real. It seemed like whatever he was about to say hurt Hijiri a lot, even if he was trying to hide it.  
  
"I'm not the right person for him. I don't care if he loves me; he's too unstable right now and I'm not up to the responsibility of having to deal with that."  
  
Hisoka couldn't shake the feeling that the other boy was lying through his teeth, but couldn't figure out a reason for Hijiri to lie in the first place.   
  
"Tsusuki needs you!" Hisoka cried. It was getting harder and harder to keep his voice down. "I can see it in his eyes whenever he looks at you! He loves you!"  
  
"Hisoka..." Hijiri took a deep breath. "I won't do it. I... I've loved Tsusuki for a long time, but I've moved on. I can't...I'm not right for him." then Hijiri looked at him, smiling. "But not all is lost, you know?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Do you really want to help him?" Hisoka nodded emphatically. "Remember Saagatanasu?"  
  
---------------------  
  
"So, we made a deal. I would pass as him, go out with Tsusuki for a while; just until he was stable again, and Hijiri would back me up. I never intended it to go as far as...as it did. I was supposed to help him get better and offer him company but I...Well, you know."  
  
Hisoka was exhausted. Tatsumi was again sitting by his side, listening to the story with a grave expression. A thick silence enveloped the room. Hisoka's eyes were silently shedding tears; he'd been so blind! Now it all made sense. Hijiri probably knew Tsusuki's heart better than him, who was supposed to be an empath, and also knew that Hisoka would never show his real emotions as himself.  
  
Tatsumi wasn't shocked, just saddened. The young boy at his side had suffered so much he couldn't even recognise love when he felt it. There was no need to ask how he'd managed to act so well. Hisoka hadn't been acting when he pretended to be Hijiri. There's a strange liberating quality about disguises. Pretending to be someone else, you are truly free to be yourself. Tatsumi knew that.  
  
"And now Tsusuki thinks he said your name while making love to Hijiri." Tatsumi said after a long while. Hisoka nodded.  
  
"I've been so stupid. I've caused even more damage when I was trying to help him. How could I ever be good for him?"   
  
"Hisoka..." Tatsumi looked at him tenderly. More tenderly than what he'd ever seen Tatsumi look at another person before. "Haven't you learned anything from this? Tsusuki loves you. You don't have to pretend to be anything else to be good for him. You just have to be honest."  
  
Hisoka smiled a little and stood up.  
  
"Help me find him?"  
  
Tatsumi nodded and followed suit.  
  
"Sure. I should probably go look for Watari too. If four eyes are better than two, then six..."  
  
"Oh? Is Watari still here?"   
  
Tatsumi laughed.  
  
"He's always here!"   
  
Hisoka then realised something and smiled knowingly.  
  
"And you?"  
  
He didn't wait for a reply; Hisoka left the infirmary leaving a stunned and embarrassed Tatsumi behind.   
  
--------------------  
  
The night sky in Meifuu is something worth seeing. It's simple; the underworld 'looks' like the world of the living. But such as the people who live in it aren't the same as humans, Meifuu is not exactly the same as the world.   
  
It is a place created for those who were too attached to life. It almost seems designed so that those people will always be able to remember what was it that made them love the world so much.   
  
The weather was always pleasant and warm; even in winter. The sakuras bloomed in a way no sakuras on earth could. And the night sky; when the moon was out, it could very well beat the real moon in beauty and glow; as well as in size. You could almost touch it.  
  
And then there were the moonless nights.  
  
Tsusuki had ran for hours. His legs were a good testimony of that. He was running away; from Hijiri, from himself; from that place filled with beauty he didn't deserve.  
  
But Meifuu wasn't like the earth. He could have ran for days, and he wouldn't have found a place more suitable for his state of mind. He couldn't leave his choices behind; no matter how fast he'd run.   
  
With a hysterical laugh; one that could have been mistaken for a strangled sob, Tsusuki collapsed to his knees. Wherever he was, there were still trees in full bloom; the air still smelled sweet.   
  
In spite of the eternal spring that was Meifuu, Tsusuki was cold. His shirt was unbuttoned, his feet bare, but even then, when he'd stopped running, he couldn't care. The dirt under him felt cold, for some reason reminding him of a graveyard; Tsusuki couldn't help laughing when the thought hit him.   
  
On a moonless night, Meifuu's sky would lit up with millions of stars. One for each soul that had been brought there to be judged; one for each life that was extinguished. And Tsusuki had put so many stars there, he thought, and yet none of those people had ever seen a sky as beautiful as that one; that was a right reserved only for their killers.  
  
Meifuu itself, and all it's glory, made Tsusuki want to throw up. There was only one thing about Meifuu that didn't smelled like death, and that was Hisoka.  
  
He remembered how captivated he'd been with the emerald eyes from the moment he'd seen them. Maybe it had been when he had to carry Hisoka back to their room that first night and how vulnerable he'd seemed. Or it might have been that Hisoka had been the only one who hadn't abandoned him; the only one who understood him enough to stay. Perhaps it had been all the times Hisoka had risked himself to save him.  
  
The images started invading his mind at a velocity that was threatening to drive him mad; or madder, because Tsusuki was sure his sanity was long gone by then. Maybe he'd never got it back to begin with.  
  
And suddenly it was Hisoka he'd been holding; Hisoka's lips he'd kissed; the one he'd made love to. It had always been Hisoka.  
  
Hisoka the one he'd used; Hisoka the one he'd hurt...  
  
Tsusuki didn't know how long he'd been laying on the ground; all notion of time and property had stayed behind somewhere during his run. He wouldn't make a fuss about it. There was no use for a hysterical fit; no sobbing or hyperventilating. No, all he'd do would be lay down on the dirt and rest. Tsusuki smiled a little, though if anyone had been there to see him, they'd have seen right past it. He'd come to a decision.   
  
Broken promises meant nothing when you'd already betrayed the person to whom you'd made them to.   
  
He closed his eyes and whispered.  
  
"Touda, come forward."  
  
TBC   
  
I'm sowy! I'm sowy! Cliff hangers are just the best place to leave a chapter!!! Waaaah!  
  
Contests, contests! Pwetty contests!! ^.^  
  
1)Er,..heh, heh...Tell me how many misspellings and grammar mistakes there are in this chappy! English is my second language, so shoot me, it seems like a nice way to learn! @-@  
  
2)Does anyone know if there are other works from the same lady that made YNM?   
  
3) Reviews, reviews, glorious reviews!!  
  
On to the prices!! (I know these are what keeps you coming back to this story, c'mon, be honest!)  
  
Serenity!! Oh I'm so glad you're still here!!! *shimmering eyes* Seriously though, I'm thinking about a Hijiri/Tsusuki one shot. Of course I want to do it myself, but if you suggest something it could be of great help! Tsusuki cookies for you!! Extra because you gave al the others I gave you to Tsusuki out of shock!  
  
Dementia-12, your Tsusuki plushie for reviewing for the first time. I still keep getting first timers! It makes me so happy!! Anyway, I also think last chappy was yummy! I'm glad you liked it. .  
  
Madiha, did I ever give you an Oriya plushie? If I didn't then here you go. I'm glad no one thought the Mura/Ori part to be out of place! And my birthday is around the corner, I've decided what I want most are reviews!! heh, heh.  
  
Miyahara Yuuki, I'm glad you liked the pics!! Aren't they the cutest?! Spelling errors...uhm...isn't the stupid spell check of my comp supposed to fix that? *cries* Oh! And the original phrase was "I may be love's bitch, but I'm man enough to admit it." I would have used it as it is, but it seemed too much. Somehow Oriya reminded me of that. Do you know the show by now? I'll leave it as a mystery.  
  
Cofi! You should be a detective or something. Those things are like the only hints I gave and you picked them up! Right on the mark, I say! Kudos! I'm glad you liked the pics, and the fic and I love all reviews!! Here are your Tsusuki cookies. Thank you!  
  
Miko, Miko! You're back! I hope that stick of confusion didn't leave a mark! Glad to have you back! Tsusuki cookies for you.  
  
dodger-chan, you're welcome. I couldn't have let you eat Tsusuki's cookies and be able to sleep at night.   
  
Tsusuki: Hey!! You said you liked them! *puppy eyes*  
  
KC: *pat**pat* Whatever.  
  
Oriya is so cool, isn't he? Anyway, I have Oriya cookies for you this time.   
  
E-san...you're right!! Waaah! Hisoka wouldn't do that!! Waaaah! I'm such a sucky writer!! Anyway, you still like? A Tsusuki plushie for you.  
  
????????........Who are you? How should I call you? The question mark person? I know about stayed and staid by now. You anglo-speaking people are trying to confuse me, I tell you! I mean, honest; Say is said, pay is paid...why discriminate stay? Who should I give the Tsusuki plushie to? Are you the riddler? A Tsusuki plushie for you! ^o^  
  
Sade, I'm glad you like both stories! I think I should give you an extra prize! The cute ones are always gay...but in case you haven't noticed, all YNM bishies are kinda...cute. Anyway, an Oriya plushie for you and an...uhm...lemme see...  
  
*pats Muraki in the back* Come on, you lazy git, sign those pictures.  
  
Muraki: *glares* Don't-touch-me.   
  
KC; Sade, I'd be careful if I were you. I have to tell you, he's scribbling the strangest things on that pic.  
  
Muraki; *evil grin* Me? I'm as innocent as a little lamb. I'd never carve a malefic curse into a picture!  
  
Tifa...Tifa x 2...square Tifa? Still, only one bag of cookies! No cheating! *slaps Tifa's hand away from the cookie basket* You've sparkled the little bug of curiosity within me about YYH. Next thing I know I'll be writing YYH fanfics...*sigh* I'm hopeless.  
  
Last Waltz! You almost get left out because I was just about to post this when I got your review!!! *fans last waltz with a magazine to bring her back to life* I know, cliff hangers suck, ne? No worries, I do plan to finish this, and I've been said to update real quickly. Of course, I've also been threatened to update faster, so I can't be sure. ~.^  
  
Ja ne! 


	11. 11

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long! It must be the longest I've taken to update this story. This gets harder and harder to write for some reason!! But no worries, it is not because I've lost interest, but because it's coming to an end and I want to make it right. I had the first version of this chappy ready on monday, but I just hated it and I couldn't bring myself to post it because then I wouldn't have been able to continue it as I'd liked with a bad base. Do I make sense? To top it all, I've had a hell of a week, having to go from one job interview to the next. Whoever said birthdays are something to celebrate, let me remind them that with age comes responsibility!! I wanna be six again! Waaaaaah!!  
  
Anyway, wish me a happy birthday, ne? It's the 18th! Just like 'Soka-chan!!  
  
WARNING: (You wish it was a lemon warning, but no, heh heh.) I haven't *ever* seen or read anything about Touda. All I have put into this fic is what I've picked on here and there (ok so, I did read some, heh, I just don't remember much). If it's not accurate, or OC, I beg you take it as a poetic licence, instead of bad writing. Also, angsty angst this chappy, but probably not in the way you were expecting it to be. As I said, this chapter was hard to write because, believe it or not, I try to give each chapter a porpuse. And this one just wasn't happening. I finally found it's porpuse, and I hope you don't think I teased you too badly. You'll know what I mean (I hope).  
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
Tenkuu had become deadly quiet. Something had awoken the twelve shikigami that were now at the entrance of the palace a few hours earlier than usual. Something was wrong with their master and they were all waiting anxiously for one of them to be called.   
  
They could always sense when one of them was about to be called into a fight, but this time it felt different. Biakko was pacing the hall; Souryuu and his children were simply staring at each other expectant. They were all showing their concern one way or the other; all standing together. All but one.  
  
To Touda the feeling wasn't that strange. He was sited resting his back against the wall; hiding his face from the other shikigami to conceal his own worry. He had a reputation to maintain, after all.  
  
No, the feeling wasn't strange at all. Tsusuki had only called him once in all the years he'd been his shikigami. It was only natural he remembered the sensation. This time it was going to be him.   
  
Before long, he felt the calling and his own self beginning to abandon the Gensoukai. He saw the others faces stricken with shock when he rose from his seat. He saw Suzaku's eyes filling with tears and saw her mouth the words of a silent plea that could have been directed at him or to a god that wasn't going to listen to her.   
  
He left without a word of comfort to his said colleagues. Why should he comfort them? None of them trusted him; none of them would comfort him when it was all over.   
  
The imponent serpent roared through Meifuu's skies, going towards his master's calling.  
  
Most shikigamis are considered nothing more than tools for their masters to use. Most of them were nothing but weapons. But Tsusuki was different. He was their friend. He knew them, visited them, talked to them. He cared. Even Touda, that cared about almost no one, had fallen under the spell of the warm hearted shinigami.  
  
His master needed him.  
  
--------------------  
  
"Tari?" the gentle voice leaked through the scientist dreamscape; which was very annoying because he was having a really nice dream about Tatsumi and handcuffs and... "C'mon, sweetie, wake up."  
  
The shadow master shook Watari once more, but the other man just batted his hands away with a frown.   
  
"Just five more minutes..." the scientist muttered, burying his face on the pillow.   
  
Tatsumi took the cup of coffee he knew he had to bring with him if he wanted to succeed in waking the scientist and placed it in front of the other man's nose. It was hard for the secretary to keep the smile out of his face, even under the current circumstance. As soon as he'd seen Watari's peaceful face, a strange feeling had stirred in his stomach; it was like jitters, but good.   
  
The sweet aroma of strong coffee invaded Watari's nostrils, luring him out of his dream, that sadly had been already disturbed by the outside world. Groggily, he sat up, eyes still closed, and felt a gentle hand on the small of his back helping him up and a kiss on his forehead.  
  
"Morning." Tatsumi said sweetly, forcing Watari to open his eyes.  
  
"Uh?" the blond looked around confused, trying to wake up his brain as well as his body. This was his lab; he wasn't supposed to be in his lab. Unless all had been a dream, which he wasn't sure. But if it was a dream, then what was Tatsumi doing there? And why was he treating him so nice? "How did I get here?" he asked sleepy.  
  
The secretary ran a hand through Watari's messy hair.  
  
"I brought you here. I thought it'd be a better place to sleep than my office floor."  
  
"Oh..." Watari took the mug between his fingers, savouring the feel of the warmth on his still asleep hands. "So...*sip* mmm, this is nice. *sip*..."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Oh, nothing...I'm just wondering..."  
  
Tatsumi once again felt amazed of how much he knew Watari, that he didn't need the other man to tell him what was worrying him. He sat next to him, sliding an arm around his waist.   
  
"We need to talk, is that it?" Watari nodded, smiling sheepishly. "Don't worry about it. But right now we have to meet Hisoka and help him look for Tsusuki. Something happened..." Tatsumi frowned, not really knowing how worried he should appear near Watari, that had already shown to be jealous of Tatsumi's affection for Tsusuki.   
  
Watari surprised him by kissing his lips lovingly and standing up with a little effort.   
  
"Then we should hurry, ne? God knows what that airhead will do if he's upset and there's no sweets around to cheer him up."  
  
----------------------  
  
Tsusuki was fighting the darkness that was threatening to engulf him. His eyes felt incredibly heavy but he had to stay awake. Touda had been summoned and almost immediately Tsusuki could see the imponent fire serpent roaming Meifuu's skies.  
  
He'd expected to feel relief as soon as he saw Touda and the black fire that promised him peace once and for all. But instead all he felt was guilt. Yet more guilt on top of the one he'd been feeling; guilt because as soon as the black flames of the serpent's body surrounded him, he remembered Hisoka's trembling body in his arms, asking him not to leave him; willing to die by his side as long as he didn't have to part with him.  
  
As soon as Touda realised he was still in Meifuu instead of the world of the living, he realised there was something off with the picture. Last time one of them had been called inside Meifuu it had been because Muraki- the monster he was supposed to have killed- had somehow sneaked one of his dolls into it.   
  
He spotted the limp form of his master laying on the ground, eyes half closed, and Touda feared that he'd been too late; that whatever had made Tsusuki call him had gotten the upper hand. But as soon as he was by his side, Tsusuki opened his eyes lazily. His master looked like hell, again reminding Touda of the last time he'd been called.   
  
"What is it? Why did you call me?" Touda said anxiously, looking around for any sign of danger.   
  
"Touda..." Just that word cost Tsusuki an incredible amount of effort. To him, his own voice sounded like in slow motion though he knew he had to have said it at a regular speed. He wanted to say it; 'Kill me, lets finish what we started.' But the words didn't come out.   
  
He used every bit of energy he had left on his body to sit up and lean his back against the trunk of a tree. His vision was blurred; it had been blurred for so long now that he was getting used to it, idly finding amusement in the way the shapes distorted through his clouded eyes. It was obvious to him; staying for Hisoka wasn't enough. The boy would get over it, he'd find another partner; another confident. Surely someone more suited to help him than himself. But if Hisoka's request wasn't enough to bound him to life, why wasn't he saying what he wanted to be saying?  
  
The serpent disappeared, giving way to the young man that now occupied it's place. Touda in human form was every bit as imponent as the serpent; but that morning his face was showing a kind of concern he reserved only for Tsusuki. He could feel his master was very close to loosing control of his powers, like he'd done a few times before, but that had never been enough for any of his shikigami to turn against him; as it would happen in any other case. Tsusuki had built a kind of relationship with his shikigami that went beyond power. Even with Touda. His master- his friend- sounded awfully tired and weary. The shikigami immediately realised he didn't need the serpent; he needed an ear.  
  
He walked towards Tsusuki and knelt beside him.  
  
"Why did you call me, Tsusuki?" he said again, this time with no anxiety in his voice, just kindness.   
  
'C'mon, say it!' the shinigami thought. But every second that passed, his resolve seemed to be faltering further. Every time he thought about the peace death had in store for him, the intense, beautiful green eyes would come to mind and that peace didn't seem so appealing anymore.  
  
Hisoka had asked him to stay, he'd been willing to die just so he could be with him. And Tsusuki had agreed for the young man's sake. But now it was him who couldn't be away from the boy. It was him who couldn't conceive the idea of parting with him. For peace wasn't possible anymore if he was away from the one person who could chase his own demons away with just one smile.  
  
With a shaky breath, Tsusuki looked at Touda and smiled apologetically.  
  
"I...I don't know...I thought..." he closed his eyes, trying to put some order to his thoughts. It was hard though; his brain was still numbed and he wasn't sure of what he wanted anymore. He did know though, that he couldn't make a decision so permanent as that with his mind so fogged with confusion.  
  
"You wanted me to kill you, didn't you?" the shikigami said carefully, trying to keep the apprehension from his voice. Tsusuki nodded, shutting his eyes tighter and shedding a few involuntary tears. "What made you change your mind?"   
  
"I..." Tsusuki shook his head helplessly. 'I wish I knew', he though. "Just,... help me up will you?"   
  
"I can do that." Touda helped Tsusuki to stand. The other man was practically leaning all his weight on the shikigami and Touda wondered if he shouldn't just look for help, because the prospect of having to drag his master all the way back to EnmaChou wasn't exactly entertaining. "I wouldn't have done it, you know?" he said in passing, as he strained another step out of him.   
  
Tsusuki turned to look at him curiously.  
  
"What?"  
  
Touda's face was stern, trying to hide any hint of emotion.  
  
"Kill you. I wouldn't have done it. I know what you think of me and I don't blame you. But don't ever call me again if that's all you can use me for."  
  
A smile crept to Tsusuki's face. He should have been angry at the shikigami's confession that he was going to purposely ignore a direct order. Had he been any other shikigami master, he'd probably would have been. Being Tsusuki, Touda's statement only made him smile.  
  
"You really care about me, don't you?"  
  
Touda shrugged.  
  
"I'd care a lot more if you moved your fucking feet a little instead of making me carry you."  
  
Amethyst eyes turned big and shimmery.  
  
"Touda, you...you..."  
  
Touda had to avert his eyes from the sight of his master. No, Tsusuki was *not* cute!!  
  
-------------------  
  
Hisoka looked guilty, Tatsumi looked serious and Watari looked sleepy and grumpy. 003 was still sleeping, this time on her master's shoulder. The three gathered at the selected meeting point at EnmaChou's entrance with nothing of Tsusuki to show.  
  
"Nothing?" Hisoka asked, though he already knew the answer. The other two shook their heads no and the young man sighed. "We've already searched his apartment, the pastry stores, even the Earl's! And there's no way we'll find him on the forest! It's huge and we have to hope he's not on the move, because then it would be just impossible!! I'm pretty sure I've been walking in circles the whole time!"  
  
Watari patted Hisoka's back groggily.  
  
"I'm sure he's ok..." the scientist prayed Tatsumi wasn't about to take his hand off his back, because he was sure to stumble backwards if he did.  
  
Watari was way too sleepy to support his own weight without help. Oh, ok, so maybe it was just that he enjoyed Tatsumi's touch, but the weight part was true as well.   
  
"It's definitively strange that we can't seem to find him. I'm starting to worry about him. Maybe the blow was harder than we thought?"  
  
Watari leaned against Tatsumi, hugging his waist loosely. The secretary tensed up, pushing up his glasses, that had yet again slid down his nose and trying to ignore Hisoka's amused stare.  
  
"Love, really, don't try to lift our spirits, you suck at it."  
  
Hisoka shook his head.  
  
"I'm going to keep looking. Let's split up again and meet here in half an hour, ok?" The young man waved a hand at them and started to walk away.  
  
Watari snuggled closer to Tatsumi.  
  
"I'm so tired." he said, slurring a little. "I'm sore in very strange places. I was having this really nice dream about you wearing handcuffs and then I..." He was cut short by a hand covering his mouth.  
  
"Shhhhhhh!!!" Tatsumi looked nervously at the retreating figure of the young man, hoping beyond hope he hadn't heard. "I'm sorry I had to wake you." he whispered. His hand moved from Watari's mouth to his cheek, gently caressing it. "I promise I'll let you sleep all day after we find him, ok?" he said sweetly.   
  
Watari got a strange gleam in his eyes and pressed himself to Tatsumi's chest, batting his eyelashes comically.  
  
"So, sleeping with the boss does have it's advantages."  
  
Tatsumi encircled his friend's body, holding him closer to him, and buried his face on Watari's soft hair.  
  
"Is that the only advantage?" he teased, nibbling Watari's ear.  
  
The other man giggled and they were about to kiss when they heard Hisoka calling after them.  
  
"Tatsumi-san, Watari-san! I've found him!!"  
  
As soon as Hisoka had seen Tsusuki walking towards him, helped by Touda, he'd felt the intense wave of emotion coming from his partner. There was so much confusion and pain coming from the older man that he thought he was going to brake down into helpless sobs if he didn't do something to keep the feelings away. Either that or he helped Tsusuki out of them; that sounded more like an idea, considering he'd caused his partner's misery.   
  
Hisoka couldn't help himself; he ran towards Tsusuki and threw his arms around the other man's neck. Of course, being as week as he was, Tsusuki stumbled and fell backwards, taking Hisoka with him. But the young man didn't let go.   
  
Tsusuki stared at the mass of blond hair confusedly, instinctively putting his arms around the slender body.   
  
"'Soka, are you ok?" He asked, startled at the boy's inexplicable show of affection. Hisoka nodded, never lifting his face that was pressed against his shoulder. Tsusuki smiled, thinking that Hisoka looked so much like a little kid. The young shinigami could look so innocent at times, and the sight filled Tsusuki with a warm feeling that was more than welcome. "'Soka, we should really get off the floor."  
  
Hisoka pulled away, blushing. He helped Tsusuki to sit up and noticed for the first time the circles under his partner's eyes. At least he could feel Tsusuki felt better now.   
  
"You look like hell. You should really get some sleep and then...I...I need to talk to you about something."  
  
Tsusuki looked down and nodded.  
  
"I need to talk to you too, 'Soka." his face lit up then. "But the sleeping first idea sounds great!"  
  
"Well,..." Watari said, seeing the scene before him. "There wasn't any reason for us to worry, see? You should give Tsusuki some credit."   
  
Tatsumi frowned, staring at the long haired shikigami, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest. Touda looked at Tsusuki one last time before nodding and starting to walk away.  
  
"C'mon." Tatsumi led Watari to were Tsusuki and Hisoka were. "Let's help them back to the building and then I'll personally walk you to your apartment."  
  
---------------------  
  
Suzaku was ready to smack Biakko on the head. The shikigami hadn't stopped pacing the hall even for a minute.   
  
Their anxiety started to wear down when half an hour had passed and they still felt the bond they had with Tsusuki. Surely Touda wouldn't take that long to kill their master. Maybe Tsusuki had called him for another reason, as unlikely as that was.   
  
But as soon as Touda was back, all twelve of them rounded the other shikigami. Some with a hopeful expression, some with a look of disdain to the one amongst them that was never to be trusted.   
  
Touda looked wide eyed from one to the other for a moment.   
  
"Is he ok? You didn't hurt him, did you?" Suzaku asked nervously.  
  
Touda just smiled and walked away from them.  
  
TBC  
  
I know this chappy sucked a little T.T But it was absolutely necessary, as usual, heh, heh. This chapter was either too short with a crappy ending or too long and not ready until sunday. I thought this was better. O-O  
  
A contesty contest!!  
  
1) Should Hisoka tell Tsusuki about what he did?   
  
2) Does anyone remember when was the first time Watari appeared on the manga? (trick question...I think, heh *-*)  
  
3) Since we're almost done here (almost) bare in mind that not only you'll get a prize just for reviewing, but the person who has reviewed the most gets the real life Tsusuki doll. (I stole it from Muraki, don't tell him, ok?)  
  
On to the prices!!  
  
Serenity, Serenity! You got here first! Honestly, you're making me feel bad about Hijiri!! T.T Waaaaaah! Now I want him to be all happy and paired too!!  
  
Anyway, you still like, so I'm kewl. I made a special chocolate cake, extra big so you can share it with all your friends there...you know, the sweet tooth, the fiddler and the PMSsing guy. *lol*  
  
Miyahara Yuuki, how did you do with your exams? I so wanted to wish you luck!! But I didn't got here on time, I'm sorry!! I hope it went well. Do tell me? Here you have strawberry cake for you and a lucky charm. I know, I know, you don't pass a test with just luck, but it can't hurt, ne?  
  
Madiha, thanks for all the nice things you said!! I'm glad you like my ficcy!! A blueberry pie for you. *squeals* I love blueberry!! It's my favourite!!  
  
Sheera's Greywolf!!! Thanks for the smooch!! I'm afraid to give you something with sugar tho...*sweatdrop* Energetic youth! Thank you again and chocolate cake for you!  
  
last waltz!! Please put that gun away!! *cry* I'm guessing you're thinking about using it now, because I took so long to update, that's why I'll give you a tasty strawberry cake!!! *looks around in a paranoid fit*  
  
Kyraille Fade!!! I missed you girl!!! Heh, heh, I knew you'd come back sooner or later...*evil grin* Anyway, I forgot to review the last chappy of your fic. I always forget this things, I'm awful. Do you want me to review it so it looks all nice on the review page or is it enough if I tell you I *luved* it!!!!? Since you liked the lemony bits, lemon pie for you!!!  
  
?, How are you doing ?, ? Filipinos, eh? That's tropical weather and near the Caribbean or I need to check my geography knowledge? I'm not American either; never been anywhere near the states. I'm just a lunatic that for some reason likes to write in English better. I dunno why!! It's sounds prettier!! I promise a very, very quick update. Blueberry pie for you.  
  
Tifa!! I've heard that US dubs generally are something to fear. In fact, Cowboy Bebop's dub in spanish was dubbed directly from the US one, and I tell you, tho it doesn't suck, because Mexican dub is very good and they're are practically experts in the anime dubbing area, you didn't have to know the original lines to know some things didn't add up. Anyway, I'm from Argentina, that's spanish for you. Just because you asked, you get a chocolate cake filled with "dulce de leche", our own little piece of heaven. If I ever live abroad, I don't know what will I do without it. You'll love it!!  
  
Prudence-chan!!! Skipping math is bad! Baaaaaaaaad!!!! ^-^ Specially because math is hard and if you miss something then you won't understand nothing *ever* again. *has a flashback to high school and falls to the floor sobbing* Anyway, thank you for doing such a sacrifice to read my fic!! Heh, heh. Since it's your first time reviewing, here you have a Tsusuki plushie for you!!  
  
Yay 75 reviews!!   
  
Ja ne!! 


	12. 12

A/N: Well there, so much for a fast update, ne? Gomen nasai, minna. I'll proceed to account all that's kept me away from my computer this past week in a futile attempt to ask...ne, beg, for your forgiveness, but I'm afraid it'll only make me look worse. Let's see...the previous weekend I spent at a manga/anime/fantasy/science fiction convention. It was my first actually. I'd never before seen a cosplayer in real life. Interesting folk...I might go as Watari next time I go to one, cuz I sorta look like him, even tho I'm a girl. Can you go as a boy when you're a girl and cosplaying? Is cosplaying even a word? Anyway, since at this convention there were all this people dressed as elves and even a Gandalf the white, I asked mom to let me rent 'LOTR the fellowship' on monday, because -shame on me- I was the only one in my family who hadn't watched it. Writing became impossible, considering my free time was completely consumed watching that movie. Tuesday was out too, you see, because I wanted to see the two towers before I died of a Legolas withdraw. That Orlando Bloom *is* cute after all. The next two days I spent looking for a job, because I'm very close to become homeless unless I find one *cries* And on Friday I left to my mom's little farm for the weekend (wow, my mom owns land... that sounds like important or something, heh) She has two little sheep. They are like the cutest thing ever and they're expecting!!!  
  
Anyway, that's what happened. And here's your update, at last. I hope you haven't lost interest in the story. *shimmering eyes*  
  
  
  
Oh, in case anyone cares, Sakura crisis has the scanlations for the second chapter of book 5 of YNM. If you have it already, check Alchemist Watari and tell me he doesn't look super hot!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
A low, happy humming filled the secretary's office. Tatsumi roamed around files and completed reports with a genuine smile on his face. He knew that he'd been the center of every rumour around the office that day. It wasn't even two p.m. and there were already several theories as to why the shadow master was so happy.   
  
The most sceptical feared their salaries were about to get cut, hence the gleam of the shadow master's eyes. Some speculated that he might have cheated a few extra bucks from the accounters. The rest figured that Tsusuki hadn't destroyed anything for long enough and the budget had been enough to cover their expenses for once.  
  
He'd heard them whispering as he passed through the halls, but Tatsumi couldn't care less. The sun was shining bright and leaking through the west windows of the building, cleaning the air and warming it.   
  
In all honesty, the secretary wanted more than anything to leave all the files for another day and make an escape to the scientist apartment. But even in such a happy trance, Tatsumi knew he couldn't neglect his responsibilities so much. Watari, Hisoka and Tsusuki all had the day off. He couldn't really leave. But as the hours passed and the day got more and more pleasant, the temptation grew stronger and his resolve weaker.   
  
He felt a sort of rush, a sense of freedom, when he pulled his suit coat off himself and tossed to a nearby chair. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and loosened his tie. He felt good.   
  
Very, very good.   
  
There were times during that day when a sense of dread would reach him. He'd start thinking about what Watari wanted from their relationship and unavoidably several, non-pleasant, scenarios would come to his mind. But all in all, the good feeling the scientist had left in him would always win in the end. The best part was that Watari was, first and foremost, his best friend. Whatever happened, Watari would never do anything to hurt him, and that was what gave him hope. That, and the way Watari had treated him that morning.   
  
The only thing that could win over his good mood was how slow the afternoon was going. He just wanted to leave as soon as possible. He glanced at his watch for the nth time and sighed impatiently. How had work become something so tedious, he didn't know.   
  
It was obvious by three thirty that he wasn't going to get anything done until his doubts were cleared and he'd talked to Watari. Maybe after he knew for certain if the happiness he was feeling would last through time or would simply be something temporary, he would be able to find joy in working again.   
  
He grabbed his now crumpled coat, glanced at his watch one more time and poke his head out the door to make sure there would be no witnesses for his skipping work. He never got a chance to see anything though. His head bumped into something soft; something soft that yelped, as a very, *very* hot substance spilled all over his hair and clothes.   
  
The sense of deja vu prevented him from cursing. It seemed that he always ended up with some sort of beverage spilled over him during the last few days.   
  
"Gomen! Oh god, I'm so sorry Tatsumi!" came the voice from over the wet secretary's head.   
  
The sound of said voice was enough for Tatsumi to forget the unpleasant feeling of having what smelled like very bad coffee dripping from his hair over his eyes and making his shirt stick to his body. He glanced at his attacker with a half smile.  
  
"What in the world are you doing here?" he said amusedly.   
  
"I...I..." the scientist smiled sheepishly. "Couldn't wait 'til five...I wanted to see you." Watari held the empty mugs up. "I made us coffee." he offered, as an attempt to apologize.  
  
Tatsumi snorted.   
  
"I can smell it..."  
  
Now that the shock had passed, Tatsumi felt incredibly uncomfortable. He wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to greet Watari. Of course he knew how he *wanted* to greet him, but suddenly he wasn't sure the blonde would appreciate it. Apparently Watari had the same dilemma because he took a step forward towards the secretary, only to take it back a second later, stammering a little.   
  
The awkward moment got only worse when neither of them said anything; they just stood there, not quite looking at each other, but very much aware of the other's presence. Tatsumi then remembered that morning and figured he might as well do what he felt like doing. The awkward moment would die and he'd know for certain where he stood with Watari. He took the scientist hand in his, making the blonde immediately meet his gaze with a hopeful look, and leaned forward to brush his lips with Watari's.   
  
"I'm glad you're here." he said, mere inches away from the scientist face.   
  
Watari smiled and kissed him again. And again, and again, until they stumbled back into the office, locking the door behind them.  
  
----------------  
  
It was way past noon when Tsusuki was able to open his eyes again. Thankfully, the sight that met him wasn't that of the infirmary. It was his own room, his own bed; but most important of all, his own pillow. He wondered if other people gave such an importance to pillows as himself. His pillow was *his*; it had the shape of *his* head marked on it and a smell no other pillow in the world of the living or the dead had.  
  
He snuggled closer to said item, refusing to get up just yet, even though he'd spent a big part of the previous twenty four hours sleeping. And part of the time he'd been awake he'd also spent it in bed, a voice whispered inside his head. The memory wasn't a welcomed one and he wasn't willing to let it spoil the moment. He'd have to face the consequences of his actions sooner or later, and later sounded definitively like the better option.   
  
He sensed a slight movement on the mattress behind him and Tsusuki froze; not so much in fear as in puzzlement. He went through the options in his head, trying to determine the size of the intruder with the back of his hand; he didn't dare turning around, fearing one of those Muraki nightmares. But with his hand he could outline something relatively small under the comforter, the size of a bowling ball. The last thing he needed was Watson carrying an invitations to the perv's...Earl's house; but why would Watson get under his comforter?   
  
Curiosity won over apprehension and he slowly turned around. But his puzzlement wasn't relieved in the slightest. He still couldn't see what was under the comforter, no, but it was obviously a head. That or a bowling player had been decapitated next to his bed. A slender bowling player. Which wasn't that ridiculous an option, because if that was indeed the body's head, then the poor owner of said head would have a terrible neck ache when they woke up. That position was most unnatural!  
  
He eventually lifted the comforter and saw, of course, a head. A blond head; a beautiful blond head, with a beautiful boy's face and a beautiful peaceful expression on it.  
  
It was then that he remembered the circumstances that had brought him back to his apartment after what had happened at the infirmary. But mostly, what had happened minutes before he surrendered to exhaustion and fell asleep. Hisoka, stubborn as only he could be, had refused to leave his side under any circumstance. Tsusuki had tried his best to get the boy, who was obviously beyond tired, to go back to his apartment and also get some rest. When that had proven useless, he'd tried to make the boy take at least the couch; but Hisoka would have none of it. And evidently, tiredness had won in the end and the poor boy had fallen asleep somewhere during his watch.   
  
Touched beyond words, Tsusuki brushed a few strands of hair that had fallen over the boy's eyes, and kissed his forehead.  
  
"I love you so much." he whispered with a pained tone.   
  
He realised that he couldn't just leave Hisoka sleeping in that awful position, so he tried to wake him to offer his own bed as a more suitable resting place; though he wanted to stay in a little longer, Hisoka obviously needed it more than him. He shook the boy a little but he batted Tsusuki's hands away.  
  
"I don't want any sweets, give them to the baka..." the young man mumbled, making Tsusuki smile.  
  
When he realised Hisoka wasn't waking up unless he made his attempts a little more adamant, Tsusuki decided against it; judging it unfair to get the young man away from the peace he seemed to've found in his dreams. With a little effort and much dexterity Tsusuki hadn't known he possessed, he lifted Hisoka from the chair he was occupying and pulled the boy to him on the bed, covering them both with the blankets.   
  
  
  
He feared the boy would wake up. He knew Hisoka would want his head on a platter as soon as he realised what he'd done; so, he did consider getting up of bed and leaving the boy alone. But the bundle in his arms felt incredibly good.  
  
In his sleep, Hisoka didn't seem to object to his new situation. He hugged Tsusuki close, mumbling some incoherent, yet obviously pleased words. Tsusuki stared at his partner's face, flushed with sleep, with growing amusement. The young shinigami was so different from what he wanted everyone to believe. Tsusuki was probably the only one allowed to see the real Hisoka.  
  
The shinigami just stared at his young charge, stroking his soft hair lazily and wondering how could something feel so incredibly right and make him feel so bad at the same time. He felt guilty, for using Hijiri to replace Hisoka; for thinking Hisoka hated him; for breaking the promise he'd made to him, even if he'd remained true to it in the end. In his heart he'd broken it, because he hadn't thought it enough to stay.   
  
But he wouldn't run away again. He was going to face everything. He'll tell Hisoka what he'd done; he'd beg Hijiri's forgiveness and finally, he'd tell Hisoka he loved him. Not because he expected the young man to reciprocate, but because he wouldn't hide anything from him ever again. If Hisoka deemed it necessary to break their partnership after his confession, it was his right.   
  
He reluctantly slid out of bed, trying with all his might not to disturb the boy, and lovingly covered him back with the blankets. He scribbled a note so Hisoka wouldn't be worried should he wake up and find him gone.   
  
He had something to do.  
  
--------------------  
  
Tatsumi collapsed on top of Watari, his body covered in sweat and his eyes slightly unfocussed. Panting, the scientist ran his hands softly up and down the secretary's back, hushing him and whispering endearments.   
  
Long minutes passed in comfortable silence. Tatsumi rolled off his friend and Watari pillowed his head on the shadow master's shoulder, lovingly caressing the other man's arms. After a while, Watari felt the body under him shaking softly and he looked up to find Tatsumi laughing.   
  
"What's so funny?" he said, unable to stop himself from smiling too, since he found the secretary's smile to be awfully contagious.   
  
"So much for our talk, ne?"  
  
Watari shrugged, amused.  
  
"I think an action is worth a thousand words..." he frowned "Though that's not how the phrase goes..."  
  
Tatsumi ran a hand through the beautiful length of blond hair and nodded.  
  
"I agree. And quite an action it was!" he joked. Then he frowned slightly, tensing up a bit. "Though I'm not sure we've...sort some things out...I mean..."  
  
"What's left to clarify?" Watari asked confusedly, and not a little bit nervous. "I want you, you want me...I think it's pretty clear."  
  
Tatsumi shifted uncomfortably and averted his gaze from the beautiful amber eyes.  
  
"Is that all? I mean...You just want me? I mean..."  
  
Watari felt caught. He knew that getting through Tatsumi would be trying. He had meant to take things slow so he wouldn't scare the other man away, who had obvious issues when it came to relationships. Truth be told, he had grown to love his friend a long time ago, but he wasn't sure that telling Tatsumi the depth of his feelings would be such a good idea. He'd waited long enough, from trying to deepen their friendship, to making not-so-subtle hints and flirting half jokingly to ease Tatsumi into the idea of them being something more. Now all of the sudden they were lovers, and he feared telling him how much, and for how long he'd loved him would make Tatsumi freak out.   
  
Seeing as Watari seemed to have trouble answering, Tatsumi hugged him tight for a moment and slid of the embrace, sighing sadly and fetching for his clothes.  
  
"It's ok. Just wanting me is enough, I guess. The last thing I want is to jeopardize our friendship. It means the world to me."   
  
From the sad tone of the secretary, Watari realised about his mistake. He sat up and slid both arms around the other man.   
  
"Of course I love you." he said warmly. "You're my best friend, after all. But..." he paused, frowning. "It's hard to explain; what I feel for you. It's like...warmth...comfort. I love you...not in a passionate way, per sei. Though, obviously I really, really want you. But...being with you, even when we're making love, it's..."  
  
Tatsumi smiled. He tucked a strand of hair behind Watari's ear.  
  
"Like coming home," he continued for the scientist. "I enjoy your company so much. I'm never tense around you, or afraid of how I should act. You never just make me laugh, you make sure we laugh together. I know you like I know myself and we fit together perfectly. Not because were alike, but because we compliment each other. It's not about burning passion. It's about companionship. I'm never alone when I'm with you." he kissed the top of Watari's nose and smiled. "You're my best friend."  
  
They hugged then; not out of desire or want, not because they were *in love*, but because they loved each other. They just hugged for the longest time in silence, memorizing the feel of the other.   
  
-----------------------  
  
Tsusuki gazed around the see of young heads, feeling like he'd never actually left that place. Last time he'd been there, everything had seemed so simple; so full of hope.   
  
In all honesty, just a week before his life was still that tedious routine; a succession of days with nothing to wait for and with so much to regret. And then the young man he was waiting for had come and gave him something to hope for, even if he'd been setting his hopes on the wrong person. Hijiri had also forced him to see his true feelings. And he'd hurt him in a way he couldn't even begin to imagine.   
  
Another thing that escaped his power of imagination was how in hell he was going to explain to Hijiri that he had used him as a substitute for the one he really loved, but that he hadn't meant it and he really was sorry. It was all so damn complicated.   
  
He spotted the black head at a distance and frowned. Hijiri was chatting with some friends with a huge smile on his face. It wasn't as if Tsusuki had wanted him to be crushed, but his pride did hurt a little seeing Hijiri seemingly unaffected by what had happened.   
  
He was even more surprised when he saw a tall, handsome boy walk towards him and the way they both carried around each other while they talked. They seemed...intimate. He was in no position to feel hurt by it, but never the less he did. Just a little bit; thinking that Hijiri hadn't had any trouble forgetting about him and finding someone new.   
  
Tsusuki turned on his heals and left. He would have to talk to him eventually, but he didn't trust himself to do it just yet. If he showed any sign of being upset by what he'd seen, then he'd just look like a son of a bitch.   
  
With a handful of new, confusing emotions, the shinigami abandoned the school yard and walked silently back to his home.  
  
He wondered why he was walking so much lately, instead of teleporting as usual. Walking soothed him, he concluded, and lately he had been in serious need of soothing.  
  
----------------  
  
Hisoka woke from a pleasant dream. Pleasant dreams were something to cherish for him and he tried as hard as he could to return to the comfort of the dream.   
  
He was resting in a very comfortable bed; nothing like his own. A bed so comfortable was an inconvenience to anyone who had a habit of rising early, he noted. No one could willingly abandon the comfort of that bed before it was absolutely necessary. And the sheets smelled wonderfully sweet. Like Tsusuki, he realised with a start.   
  
He opened his eyes immediately, hoping to find the other man resting next to him, only to be disappointed a moment later. Worried, he sat up and glanced around the room, until his eyes found a little piece of paper with Tsusuki's very own, illegible scrabbles on it.   
  
~'Soka  
  
Sleep well? *smiley face*  
  
Need to run some errands.  
  
Be back soon.  
  
Cook something tasty. *little heart*  
  
Your partner.~   
  
He sighed and laid back down. The baka would have to wait for him to cook. What was he, his maid? Still, the innocent way Tsusuki added those details to the note got a smile out of him.   
  
He took a deep breath and took in the scent of his partner. He could still remember that fraction of a second when Tsusuki had held him after making love. He craved to be in his arms that same way again. It felt like he had missed an important part of something; like what they'd done wasn't complete. But he knew if things hadn't happened the way they did, if he'd have gotten the chance to snuggle with Tsusuki afterwards with him thinking he was Hijiri, he would have felt empty.   
  
He still didn't know how he was going to come clean. It didn't matter that Tsusuki loved him, the man could very well be angry at him and end up hating him. After all, Hisoka had cheated him and toyed with his emotions.   
  
He still wanted to tell him though. He wanted to feel the same he'd felt the night before, knowing full well it was him making love with Tsusuki, and not an illusion or a deceit.  
  
He realised he'd been practically strangling the pillow and loosened his grip, burying his face in the fabric and sighing contently. He wasn't going to get a chance to be so lazy any other time. Maybe Tsusuki was right in being as he was. Just staying in bed for the fun of it was certainly nice.   
  
Eventually the sound of the lock diverted him from his musings, and he bolted out of bed. If he were to get caught idle by Tsusuki, he would never hear the end of it. He made a dash for the bathroom, realising with horror after he'd closed the door that he had forgotten all about his shoes.   
  
Tsusuki saw the blurry figure of his partner rushing to the bathroom and he got really concerned about him. Hisoka had been acting really funny ever since that morning and Tsusuki could only think that maybe he was sick. Or maybe...being in his bed had somewhat affected his empathy? If Hisoka felt sick because of him, he'd give up on his dignity and just burst out crying. You can only control your feelings of guilt for so long.  
  
He knocked on the door softly, straining his ears to pick on any sound of heaving, just in case Hisoka was throwing up and tried to hide it later.  
  
"Are you ok, 'Soka?!" he said worriedly.  
  
Hisoka looked desperately around for an excuse for him to be locked in there, until he realised he was in the *bathroom*. What excuse could anyone need, really?   
  
"I'm fine, baka! Can I pee in peace?!" he only hoped his nervousness hadn't seeped into his voice.  
  
Tsusuki blinked a few times, blushing.   
  
"Of...of course, 'Soka, I'm sorry. I'm...I'll wait for you in the living room? I need to talk to you, ok?"  
  
The sound of something large slamming against the door was heard and Tsusuki jumped.  
  
"I'm *peeing*!!!!" Hisoka spat.  
  
"Of course, of course." Tsusuki mumbled, and rushed out of there in fear.   
  
Tsusuki was studying his nails intently, sitting on his couch and waiting for his young partner to finish 'peeing'. He blushed again and cleared his throat. He certainly was taking a long time at it.   
  
Finally, the young shinigami passed in front of him on his way to the kitchen, glaring at him for a moment. Before Tsusuki had a chance to say anything he was out of sight, and he could have sworn he saw the boy blushing a little after glaring at him.  
  
'This is it,' he thought, fidgeting in his seat. 'I have to tell him now. Maybe I should leave Hijiri out. There's a better chance of him returning my feelings if he doesn't know about that.' He frowned. 'But I have to be honest or I'm going to mess up again. He's not going to return my feelings anyway. Look at Hijiri...I thought he loved me and as soon as we break up he runs and gets another boyfriend. In fact, we never actually broke up!'  
  
He shifted in his seat once more, feeling uncomfortable. He was sitting on something, he noted. Something not as soft as the pillows of his couch and it had buttons; hard, metal buttons that had ended up bothering him in a very uncomfortable place.   
  
He lifted the item up and noticed it was a jacket. Hisoka's to be precise. He was about to fold it as neatly as Tsusuki knew how, when something dark fell from one of the pockets. He stared at the dark wig confusedly for some time before picking it up. And as soon as he did, all the pieces of a puzzle he hadn't known he was trying to solve fell into place.  
  
TBC  
  
Oooooooooh!!! Next chapter is the last!!! Unless I write an epilogue? I might do that, but not right away...  
  
Contests!!!  
  
1) Someone tell me *why* I named this fic 'A devil's thrill', I can't remember it myself...o-O  
  
2) Anyone knows of a good Slam Dunk fanfic? I'll appreciate any RuHana/HanaRu recommendations!!  
  
3) I'm shameless, heh heh, I keep asking for reviews even after 87 of them!! And each of them nice!!  
  
Now to the prizes:  
  
Miyahara Yuuki, with all the time I've taken to update you've probably finished with your exams, right? I hope it went well. Just in case, I'll give you brownies. If they went well you can celebrate with them, and if not, they will cheer you up. I know you ( and everyone else) were impatient for this chappy to get here. I'll try my best for the conclusion to be ready for Sunday, but my life is so complicated right now I wouldn't dare to promise anything.   
  
Sheera's Greywolf, of course you'll love me forever!! I'm a genius!! LoL. No, seriously; thank you for the smoochies. Of course it'll be a happy ending. I don't write anything else. Here, more chocolate cake for you.  
  
*Looks curiously at Serenity* Should I give you more cake? Is Tsusuki alright? That can't possibly be good for his stomach! And Hijiri? I would pay to see him covered in cake!! @-@ Here, lots of Halloween candy for all of you!  
  
Kyraille Fade, glad I made you laugh. As I post this I'm reviewing the last chappy of your fic. And happy belated birthday!! Though you were the closest to the answer, it was a trick question. Watari actually appears on page 162 of book one for the first time for two frames. In one you can't really see his face and the other is really small, chibi like. But he does look cute on the Jouchou 101: lecture thingy. And oh, does Tatsumi look sexy on the front page of that!!! For you a piece of my birthday cake!! I saved it for you!!  
  
Dodger-chan, I'm glad the fact I didn't know about the visor thingy didn't upset you. I knew I was about to mess up writing about a character I haven't seen. But it was ok? Lets pretend I'm writing AU so I can get away with it??  
  
A bag of candy for you!!!  
  
Kiyomi, thanks for your review. Are you ok? *-* Here, have some candy. *slips sedatives into them* And a Tsusuki plushie for reviewing the first time.  
  
Madiha, so you like blueberry too? I hope you still think this is good work?? *tears up* We'll see if Hisoka spills the beans or not. Mwahahaha! Some of those apples with candy on them for you; and I think you guys put pop korn on them too.   
  
Last waltz, no you didn't scare me! *nervous laugh* ha ha ha...er, still, put that gun away. Angst is the best when there's a happy ending! And I love happy endings so don't worry!! A plastic pumpkin filled with candy for you.   
  
Cap'n Chobie!! You're full of praises! Thanks for saying I'm a god...heh heh, now give me all your money! *-* No, really, thanx, I'm glad you liked it. I'm afraid the manga has drifted and is never going to be completed. I hate when that happens. Maybe we could gather signatures and send them to Matsushita sensei so she finishes the story and gets Tsusuki and Hisoka together at last? I so want to write a FAKE fic! I love FAKE! I love JJ the most, so I might just write a JJ/Drake get together soon!! Will you read it? A Tsusuki plushie for you for reviewing the first time and Halloween candy!!  
  
Koyuki! Yes, yes, you get a plushie! Tsusuki plushie, ok? LOL at Tsusuki and the car! That made me laugh out loud. I know, I know, It's break. I don't know why I keep mixing them up. They sound the same!! Waaaaaah T-T And 'Soka-chan deserves to be happy! You'll have to wait and see if I let him though, Mwahahaha!  
  
Happy belated birthday to Tifa too! 15? You're like...a baby!! Waaaaaah! I wanna be 15 again!! Waaaaaaaah! We Libra are the best, ne? I hope you enjoyed your bd as well. Down here we make a big deal about the 15th birthday. I never got a big party though. Thank god, no big, puffy pink dress, no tons of guests and cheesy music! I had a simple, family evening and I loved it! Here, have some of my birthday cake!  
  
?, I'm so so sorry for taking sooooo long!!! Anyway, I speak spanish, I'm *not* spanish. I'm from Argentina. Do you really think my english is good? I hope you liked this chappy! I'll try not to take so long for next! Halloween candy for you!!  
  
In case I don't see you, Happy Halloween!!  
  
Ja ne!! 


	13. 13

A/N: I've noticed that for some insane reason, chapter two was mixed with chapter one. I've already changed that, since I know I do get new readers now and then. (I still don't understand how I managed such a success with this story...*humble* I really don't...)   
  
You guys have certainly been the best 'audience' I've ever had and probably will ever have. Though I must admit I suspect it has something to do with the fandom; maybe it's just that I'm a little more attuned with YNM fans than with others? *face of someone desperately trying to fit in*  
  
I may joke around and appear like my ego has sky rocketed...(heh heh I'm a super genius!!!) but I'm forever grateful to all of you. I hope you have enjoyed this ride as much as I have.  
  
And so it ends. (maybe?)  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
It was as soon as his eyes landed on the black wig and before his mind had a chance to form any idea about it, that the kitchen door flew open. It was more instinct than planning what led Tsusuki to hide the wig behind himself and make sure his emotions were in check.  
  
His eyes were focused on his partner, that walked obliviously into the living room carrying a tray with some sweets and a tea pot with two mugs. The boy settled his load on the coffee table and knelt in front of it, sitting on the floor opposite to Tsusuki. Hisoka saw the other man looking at him and had to fight the blush that threatened to appear. Hisoka gave Tsusuki a smile as sweet as he'd be able to pull out under the circumstances and handed him a little plate with the other man's favourite sweet.  
  
"Here, I thought you'd be hungry." he said in a soft voice.  
  
And indeed, Tsusuki had been hungry just a few seconds ago. After all, he hadn't eaten anything for a good 24 hours. At that moment though, food was the last thing on his mind.  
  
Tsusuki just stared at him and Hisoka was starting to feel uncomfortable under such an intense glare. The older man bored his eyes into his partner's face, as if it held the answers to all the questions that were starting to rise within him.   
  
Hisoka shifted uncomfortably on his seat and stretched his arm a little more.  
  
"It's...your favourite. Don't you want it?"  
  
The dark haired man took the pastry with two fingers slowly and carefully, never taking his eyes from Hisoka.  
  
"Thank you." he said, with not very much emotion on his voice.  
  
Hisoka was uncomfortable, yes; but not that surprised. Tsusuki had gone through a tough time and he'd expected him to be better considering he'd left the house while he'd been sleeping; but obviously he'd been wrong and Tsusuki was still affected by what had happened. That made him feel really guilty and made his resolve to tell him the truth a lot more urgent.  
  
While the silence became more and more oppressive, Tsusuki remembering things he hadn't even known he'd stored in his mind; things that didn't held any meaning at the time, but now added to his confusion. He started backwards, if you will. The first thing that came to his mind was the incident with Hijiri just a few minutes before. His behaviour now held a whole new meaning; though it didn't hurt any less. And if Tsusuki remembered correctly, the other occasion when he was absolutely sure it had been Hijiri the one he'd seen, the boy had also acted strangely.  
  
"Where did you go?" Hisoka tried to ask casually, his voice seeping concern. Tsusuki seemed to be a million miles away, but the amethyst eyes remained focused on him.   
  
Tsusuki thought about the strange way Hisoka had acted that morning. How affectionate and reluctant to leave his side he'd been. And even now, making him a snack and smiling at him so tenderly. There shouldn't be any reason for Hisoka to change his attitude towards him. Unless...  
  
Tsusuki shrugged, still playing with the uneaten pastry.  
  
"I went to see Hijiri." he said deadpan, taking the opportunity to study the boy's reaction. Hisoka stiffened slightly and shifted again on his seat.  
  
Tsusuki thought about their date, and how he'd thought Hijiri wasn't at all like he'd expected him to be; the other boy smiled a lot and was awfully friendly, yes, for Hisoka. But for Hijiri, his behaviour had actually been reserved and too quiet. And there was a different hint to his smile than to the one he'd been used to. And then there was those moments, when Hijiri seemed deep in thought; something he always associated with Hisoka, not Hijiri.  
  
"Did...did you have a good time?" Hisoka tried his best not to show his nervousness. Hijiri wasn't aware of what had happened the night before. What would Tsusuki think if he went to apologize to Hijiri, or try to talk to him about what happened, when the fiddler had no idea?  
  
"It was ok." Tsusuki shrugged.  
  
Then he remembered the night before; How 'Hijiri' had shown up in the middle of the night telling him Hisoka had gone looking for him, even though he knew Hisoka didn't like the other boy that much.   
  
Had it been a mockery? Had the two of them been playing with him? That didn't make much sense. No matter how much Hisoka disliked him, his partner would never do something so cruel.  
  
"And when are you seeing him again?" Hisoka couldn't look at him in the face anymore. He was stalling, but the moment of truth was close and he knew it. Maybe if Tsusuki confessed first, it would be easier for him, but the other man was showing no indication of doing so anytime soon.  
  
Tsusuki saw a chance to find out what had happened with Hisoka's question. A deceit to uncover another deceit, he thought. It seemed fair.  
  
"I don't think I'm seeing him again." he said calmly, noticing the way Hisoka's face lit up. That confused him even more.  
  
He remembered the time when he'd told Hisoka he was dating Hijiri, and the strange, upset way the boy had acted. And the love in his eyes the night before; that couldn't be fake. Hisoka couldn't have been the one he'd been with. But Hijiri couldn't have been either; not anymore. The fiddler couldn't have shown so much love one night and forgotten all about him the next day. Maybe he hadn't hear him? Maybe Hijiri had seen him at the school and done that to hurt him because he was hurting? Maybe he'd gotten it all wrong, and the wig didn't have to do with anything, but he still had to know.  
  
"You aren't?" Hisoka almost cheered, then blushed and lowered his gaze. "I'm...I'm sorry." This was it! Tsusuki was going to tell him he loved him, so he'd be able to confess as well!   
  
"Don't be sorry." Tsusuki forced a smug smile to form on his lips. "I'm not sad. Actually, I'm relieved! That boy is nice, but the last few times I've seen him, he's been so dense. Huff, you have no idea!" The act cost him a great deal, specially seeing Hisoka's hurt expression.   
  
What did that expression mean?!  
  
"You...I don't understand...That's the reason you're breaking up with him?" Hisoka shook his head helplessly.  
  
"Well, yes. That and something else, but I don't think I should tell." Hisoka's eyes opened wide, and Tsusuki started to doubt he was doing the right thing. But though it might have been wrong, he knew it would work. If Hisoka was one thing, he was proud.  
  
"What else?" Hisoka asked fearful.  
  
Tsusuki leaned forward. It was cruel, he knew it, but it had to be done. He had to know.  
  
"Don't tell anyone, but...well...he kinda sucks in bed."   
  
Hisoka leaped from his seat, an indignant look on his face. Bulls eye, Tsusuki thought.  
  
"That's not true!! You liked it! It was good!!" the boy yelled and immediately covered his mouth with his hand in shock about what he'd just said.   
  
His big, green eyes stared right into Tsusuki's with fear, trying to pick up the other man's feelings and to see if Tsusuki had understood what he'd said. Tsusuki just stared right back for a few endless moments and then took something from behind his back and showed it to him. It took Hisoka a while to recognise it, before he realised, horrified, that Tsusuki was holding the wig.  
  
Hisoka's eyes hurt as they filled with more tears than what he'd be able to hold back, but he couldn't speak. 'Not like this!' he thought, despair taking a hold of his being, overriding any other emotion he could be feeling. 'Not like this, he'll never believe me now!' He shook his head no, as the first tear fell down his cheek.  
  
There was one option Tsusuki wouldn't dare to contemplate. Though it would make more sense than any of the other scenarios, he just couldn't believe Hisoka actually cared for him.   
  
He felt bad, seeing how upset his partner looked, but in all honesty, he didn't feel that good either. He felt used, betrayed, and couldn't pinpoint exactly why.  
  
"I'm not going to jump to conclusions." Tsusuki tried to say calmly. "You said this morning you wanted to talk to me. So talk." He hated how cold he'd sounded, but it was either that or whimpering like an idiot.  
  
The young man fell to his knees, that soon became too weak for his weight and failed him. His tears became more frequent, as his breathing became erratic. He was starting to panic.  
  
"I...I..." he couldn't say it. He could just stare at Tsusuki and silently pray that he'd see how sorry he was, until looking at the other man started to hurt too, and he had to look away. He covered his face with both hands as he couldn't hold it anymore and begun sobbing. "Please! I..."  
  
Hisoka felt Tsusuki rising from the couch, and was sure he'd leave him there when he felt a strong arm wrapping itself around him.  
  
Tsusuki couldn't help but to react at his partner's outburst. It didn't matter what had happened, Hisoka was still the person he held dearest in his heart. He couldn't just watch the boy cry like that and do nothing, as much as he wanted an explanation.   
  
Tsusuki held Hisoka tight, but said nothing for a long while. Hisoka clung to him desperately while the other man soothed him in silence until the sobs started to subside. Then Tsusuki spoke.  
  
"Better now?" he said gently, yet somewhat coldly. Hisoka nodded and sniffed, but didn't pull away from the embrace. Tsusuki didn't push him away either, so he figured it was ok. "Please, 'Soka, tell me."  
  
Hisoka realised then; Tsusuki sounded hurt; like someone who has just been stabbed in the back; but he was still there, giving him a chance to explain. As bad a turn this had taken, he realised he still had a chance to make amends; his last chance, most likely; and he'd better get a hold of himself and use it, before everything was lost. He took a deep breath; partly to regain his breath, partly to gather his courage, and looked straight into Tsusuki's eyes once more, to show the man he was being truthful.  
  
"We...Hijiri and I...remember on Monday, when I asked to talk to him in private?" he begun. Tsusuki tensed up and nodded. He was about to say something but Hisoka stopped. "Please..." he whispered. Hisoka's voice was very soft, almost as if he was actually *begging* Tsusuki not to form any ideas yet and let him finish. Before he could voice his request, Tsusuki rolled his eyes and motioned him to continue. "We...We were both worried about you, but it wasn't until that moment that we realised the other cared about you as much. You know we didn't get along that day; that's why. The two of us thought the other was going to hurt you. We talked, and I told Hijiri that I knew...that you loved him." The older man opened his eyes big, surprised at this. Hisoka laughed humourlessly. "He was surprised too, but I didn't get it back then. He told me...he said that he was over you, or something. That he cared deeply for you but...but he had already a life of his own and that he couldn't...he wouldn't take on the responsibility of dealing with you right now." Hisoka saw the hurt on Tsusuki's eyes at this. "I know now he was lying Tsusuki. I think I knew it back then, I just didn't understand why he'd lie. He saw...he knew you didn't really love him, and so he stepped aside. He really does love you."  
  
Tsusuki shook his head in frustration.  
  
"Then you did pretend to be him? Why?! I don't understand." As it became clear to him, Tsusuki felt anger rising inside of him.   
  
"I told you! We were worried about you! I just thought..." he sighed. "You haven't been the same since...you know. I thought if you had someone at your side, someone that made you feel worthy, you'd realise you had a lot to live for. But I thought you hated me, and so I couldn't...I couldn't tell you the truth. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I just wanted to help you; be at your side the way I couldn't be as myself. I...I'm sorry, Tsusuki. Please..."  
  
Tsusuki stayed silent for a long time, letting it all sink in, and Hisoka was going blue from holding his breath. Finally, the dark haired man looked at him and sighed.  
  
"I still don't understand a lot of things, but...Hisoka, you've really made a mess of things, you know?" Tsusuki knew he was easy to forgive; he suspected he'd forgive Muraki if the other man apologized profusely enough. But this time he felt his forgiveness was deserved. Hisoka hadn't meant wrong; he wasn't sure of *what* he'd meant, but it wasn't to hurt him. Hisoka nodded, and Tsusuki sighed again. "So, you heard it?" he said finally, with a little fear creeping into his voice.   
  
Hisoka frowned.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Last...night." Tsusuki opened his eyes wide in shock as the thought struck him. "Oh god, I've just realised...I mean, I...You and I..."  
  
It was both of them blushing at that moment.  
  
"Yes, I heard." Hisoka said shyly, though he was still fearful of what was happening. "Tsusuki, if you hadn't found the wig...I still would have told you. I was going to tell you, today. You have to believe me!"  
  
"That doesn't matter now, does it?" There was still some bitterness left in his voice, but Hisoka could see Tsusuki was giving in, and that made him smile in spite himself. "What are you smiling about?" Tsusuki said defensively.   
  
"You're going to forgive me."  
  
"Probably." Tsusuki said, smiling sadly. "But still, what you did..."  
  
"I know. But I never meant..."  
  
Tsusuki cut him off.  
  
"I know that too. But why did you do it?" Tsusuki said, this time confusion was the emotion reflected on his face. An emotion Hisoka's own face was fast to imitate.  
  
"I just told you...I..."  
  
"No. That's not what I asked." Tsusuki blushed again. "We kissed...a lot. We...we had...sex..." the last word came out as a whisper. "Why? I'd thought you, of all people, wouldn't just sleep with someone to comfort them. I don't..."  
  
This time Hisoka cut him off.  
  
"I know now what you feel for me. I heard you say it when you thought I wasn't listening. Though that might be different now. But you heard me say it too. I wasn't lying, Tsusuki. I was in disguise, yes, but I never lied. Not once."  
  
A thick silence fell upon them then. Hisoka was staring at his hands. It was done. Whatever would happen now, he had no control over. He found a little hope on the fact that Tsusuki still had an arm hanging loosely around him. It was obvious he was deep in thought.   
  
Tsusuki could just stare at the blond hair in awe. Hisoka had just told him...that he...Hisoka loved him?? He'd heard his unwilling confession; he *knew* he'd used Hijiri- or so he'd thought at the time- to replace him. He knew it all and yet he loved him?  
  
All the hurt and confusion he could have felt at the beginning had melted away as soon as he'd heard Hisoka's words. Ok, he *was* confused, but it didn't matter. He wanted to kiss him. To hold him and never let him go. But it was all so complicated now!  
  
It was all out in the open, and yet Tsusuki couldn't move. It was like too much had been said. If something didn't happen soon, the awkwardness between them would never die away. And that couldn't happen. Hisoka loved him. He loved Hisoka. Sometimes, it was better not to think much and take action.  
  
With this thought, Tsusuki tightened his hold of the boy with one arm, and used his free hand to tilt his face upwards, to meet those beautiful and yes, unique eyes. He saw them filled with fear an apprehension. He wanted to say something to ease his love's worries, but words were not enough.  
  
He just leaned down and took those soft lips in his; once more, he realised, because it wasn't the first time. He could tell it wasn't too, because there was no hesitation in that kiss. Hisoka responded immediately, closing his eyes and letting out a little, barely audible squeal of happiness. It *was* different for them. The kiss was so familiar, their bodies knew the feeling of the other, but their hearts...it was as if a huge weight had been pulled off of them. Tsusuki knew, for certain, that he was kissing the one he *truly* loved, and Hisoka knew, for certain, that Tsusuki was kissing *him*.  
  
Tsusuki couldn't help the tear that escaped his eyes. All that time, pretending he was kissing Hisoka, even as his conscience told him it was wrong. Thinking that the kiss tasted sweeter because of the illusion, only to realise that those kisses were that sweet on their own right.  
  
They pulled apart for air, neither of them daring to speak, afraid they'd ruin it. It was a decision made for both of them, and one they wouldn't argue. They just kissed again, putting all that silly confusion behind them. It had seemed so serious; so hopeless, just a few seconds before. And now, now it was just that; a silly mix up.   
  
There would be a lot to talk about. Or maybe not. The important things had been said, and what was left unsaid there was no need to say it. No 'I love yous' could ever be more eloquent than that kiss. Maybe it was better not to dwell on the pain for once. To leave it behind and look forward. Tsusuki found himself honestly having something to look forward to; for the first time in his life.  
  
He was at peace.  
  
~Owari~  
  
Ok, so; yes, this NEEDS an epilogue. Badly. So wait for it soon. Besides, I'd never leave a story at chapter 13, that's just wrong. Yes, I'm *very* superstitious. But if you know it's superstition then it's ok, right?  
  
I'm posting the first chappy of my next YNM story today. Check it out if you want.  
  
  
  
No contests this time, since it's the last chappy. But here go the final prizes.   
  
On the left there's the number of reviews required for each prize, and then those who got it. I think it's sorta unfair, since some people got here later and some never reviewed again, but all the prizes are nice, so I hope it's ok. @-@  
  
1-2_A chocolate box with the shape of a heart and a picture of Tsusuki and Hisoka on the top.  
  
Sade, Cap'n Chobie, Koyuki, Pink, Kiyomi, Prudence-chan, Dementia-12, E-san, French-Fille, Kitana, Kitsune, Suzaku1, Kirei Aya, Taiyu, Firskey-  
  
Thanks for your reviews, that not for little were any less appreciated. And I think I should mention the first four on the list deserve extra credit. Sorry guys, I just couldn't think a fairer way to do this. Gomen!!  
  
3-5_A key chain with a little Tsusuki dressed as a teddy bear.  
  
Sheera's Greywolf, Cofi, ??????, Last waltz, Miko, Dib, Nakkie, Aikawa Fuuko-  
  
I was really surprised. Not that three, four or five reviews are little, but seriously, with most of you it felt like more; it meant so much to me, maybe that was it. Though some of you were lost in action, I still thank you for ever!!   
  
5-8_An Inu Tsusuki plushie that says 'I love you!' when you squeeze his belly.  
  
Kyraille Fade, Dodger-chan, Madiha, Tifa-  
  
Ah, you guys were so close!! Must say, you are ALL amongst my favourite reviewers. Yes, I'm mean, I have favourites. A review from either of you guys made my day a lot brighter!! Thank you!!  
  
9-10_A real life Tsusuki doll.  
  
Taran-taran!!! There's a tie people!!! A tie!!!  
  
Sincere Serenity and Miyahara Yuuki (neither of which reviewed the last chappy, btw :P) With an outstanding amount of ten reviews each, get a real life Tsusuki doll. You each get your own, so don't fight!  
  
I couldn't do this AND answer each review, but know I did read them all and they all meant the world to me.  
  
Sayonara! 


	14. EP

A/N: Well, here it is. The end...again...but this time it's for good. Or is it? *.~  
  
And this is a bit longer than the usual chappy. But not so long it's boring.  
  
I thank you all for your support. I'll answer your reviews now so once you're finish reading you can think about the fic and not my silly ramblings.   
  
Madiha...sequel, huh? I don't know. Tell you what, read on and tell me if you guess what I think about a sequel. I'm glad you liked the last chappy. Thanks for being there, ok?  
  
Miyahara Yuuki, no way I'm angry! I didn't mean to make it sound like I was angry!! I'm a total RuHanaRu fan. And I think you have a SD fic, so I'm proceeding on reading that. If I wrote a SD fic, would you read it? Thanks for the tips. I already checked that ML you mentioned and now I'm a member.   
  
Narisa Rei, wow even in the last chappy I got new reviewers? Here's your Tsuzuki plushie. Thanks for reading!  
  
Kara Angitia, yet another new reviewer!! Tsuzuki plushie for you! I hope I've wrote enough Tatari fluffiness in this chappy. That was exactly what I didn't like about last chapter and what made the epilogue so urgent. Thanks for reading!  
  
Nakkie? The same Nakkie? *sniff* I'm so happy to know that you were reading. I don't like reviews for the flattering. I just want people reading my fic, you know? Thanks a bunch!!  
  
Last waltz!! Yay! you've changed the gun for glomping!! I like that much better!! Glad you liked it; hope you like this and thanks for reading!  
  
Kyraille Fade, we seem like old friends now, ne? Heh, heh. Anyway, there's some Tatari here, but don't scroll to that part. you gotta read it all, ok? No cheating. It's just they are so cute together, ne? Well, I don't say by to you cuz I still have to write the answer for your review to the other fic. See you there, *-*!!  
  
Tifa, so here's the epilogue, and yes, you're amongst my favourite reviewers. Am I awful for having favs? Anyway, hope you like this! And since you're amongst my favourites, maybe you wanna stick around for "A smile..."? Ah, I'm pushing my luck. Arigatou gozaimasu!!  
  
Sheera's Greywolf! I told you; happy ending...er...so ok, yes, it's happy ending, but, you may wanna read this. And don't hate me!! And the new chappy of ASUMF is here, 'K?  
  
Thank you all forever!! I already said that, ne? Anyway...  
  
Enjoy!  
  
A DEVIL'S THRILL  
  
EPILOGUE  
  
"'Soka?"   
  
Tsuzuki's hesitant voice leaked through the young man's thoughts as they walked through EnmaChou's halls; the green eyed shinigami trying his best to appear as if nothing was different to avoid drawing attention to himself, while his partner held his hand as if his life depended on it.  
  
Morning had arrived without asking permission, as it always did. It was Friday; just five days before both their lives seemed to be stuck in a hopeless pit of despair. And it wasn't being dramatic either. If asked just five days before, they both would have either said their lives had never been more miserable, or lied.   
  
But it comes to show you, life does have it's surprises. Who'd have thought something good could have come of the past week? Seriously though; if their lives had sucked five days ago, then the past week defined the term 'sucking' into a whole new level of stratospheric proportions.  
  
And yet it was Friday, and it had all seemed to have melted away. And now it was all different; and nothing had changed at the same time. So much it was so that, if asked, both would have had to say they really didn't know what was so desperate about their situation to begin with; since they were so happy in a quiet and familiar sort of way at the moment.   
  
  
  
Hisoka didn't turn to look at Tsuzuki. What was the use? He already knew he'd find the baka staring at him with those cute puppy eyes. And he already knew what he was going to ask. It wasn't as if he hadn't already asked ten thousand times before that morning.  
  
"What?" Hisoka said, mildly annoyed. As annoyed as one could be when all one's dreams have come true; if one didn't know they had dreams to begin with.  
  
Now, that just sounded corny.  
  
"So...Are we really a couple now? I mean..." Tsuzuki asked, *again*, in his childish tone.  
  
He wanted to glare. He really did!  
  
All he could manage though, was a blush and a little smile.   
  
"Yes, we are," he whispered shyly and stopped walking, turning to look at Tsuzuki. Then he looked around, making sure there were no witnesses and brushed his lips with his partner's in a chaste kiss.   
  
He really didn't want to be dealing with all the explanations he'd have to give if everyone found out about them. An image of the Hokkaido sisters shrieking about how kawaii they looked together and about the wedding dress they'd want him to try invaded his thoughts and he shuddered. But luckily, there was no one around, so he indulged himself and kissed Tsuzuki a little more.   
  
He had to admit it; it was frustrating having to spend that particular day stuck at the office.  
  
Tsuzuki cupped his face with one hand when the kiss broke, rubbing the soft cheek tenderly and staring into his eyes lovingly.  
  
"So,...you're like,...my boyfriend?"  
  
'Wow,' Hisoka thought, dumbfounded. 'I'm Tsuzuki's boyfriend!'   
  
On the outside he just nodded. The older man opened his eyes wide, and made an outstanding impression of a puppy, with his violet eyes shimmering with happiness. 'Gods', Hisoka noted, 'I can almost see his tale wagging'.  
  
  
  
He saw it coming. He could see Tsuzuki's every move as in slow motion; and yet he wasn't able to move away fast enough. Before he even had time to say 'Eeep!', Tsuzuki jumped and took Hisoka on a fierce embrace, lifting his feet quite a few inches from the floor and knocking the air out of his lungs.   
  
Cheerfully rubbing his cheek against Hisoka's, Tsuzuki beamed.  
  
"Yay!! 'Soka, you're so cute!! And you're *my* boyfriend!!" Of course in his enthusiasm, Tsuzuki failed to notice the boy was starting to turn blue. "I'm going to take such a good care of you!! I'm gonna treat you real nice and hug you a lot and kiss you even more!!"  
  
When had Tsuzuki turned into Elmira?  
  
"Tsuzuki..." Hisoka breathed. His face was...well, lets see, blue from lack of oxygen plus red from embarrasment...yes, Hisoka's face was purple.   
  
"What?" Oblivious, Tsuzuki didn't loosen his hold.  
  
"Can't...*gasp*...breathe..."   
  
"What was that, 'Soka? Should I call you 'Soka? Or koi? Koi is nice, but 'Soka is cute! Like you!!!"  
  
"Tsuzuki..." this time it sounded more like a hiss.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"*Put* *me* *down*" Hisoka was pissed.   
  
Well, it was bound to happen, really.  
  
"But 'Soka!"  
  
"*Now*"  
  
Tsuzuki released him. *sniff*  
  
'Oh, no.' "Stop that."  
  
"Stop what?" *sniff*  
  
"The eye thing." *glare*  
  
"What eye thing?" *sniff**sniff*  
  
"Stop...*THAT!*" he motioned at Tsuzuki's puppy eyes and had to quickly look away, because the older man's bottom lip was starting to quiver.   
  
Hisoka sighed and kept on walking in spite of Tsuzuki's whimpering, even though said whimpering was quickly getting to him.   
  
'Is this how is going to be?' Hisoka thought, alarmed. 'Now that we're a couple I'm going to turn into mush every time he puts those puppy eyes for me?'   
  
Tsuzuki tugged at his sleeve pitifully, yes, you've guessed it, sniffing.  
  
"Are you mad?" the older man said, his voice shaking.  
  
'Who am I kidding?' Hisoka went on in his mind. 'This has always gotten to me. It's just that now I don't wanna be as mean about it as I used to. He knows what he's doing, sneaky bastard.'  
  
He stopped abruptly once more, and seized Tsuzuki by the shoulders.  
  
"I'm not mad. I love you with all my heart and probably will until the end of time. But if you keep glomping me and suffocating me, I'll kick you on the head, ok?"   
  
There was a few seconds of silence. Hisoka was staring right into the amethyst eyes, to his distress, with growing amusement. Tsuzuki stared right back, with a baffled expression, until his eyes turned shimmery again and Hisoka feared he'd been too rude.   
  
"You...you...'Soka..."   
  
The young man sighed.   
  
'Please don't start crying again...please?'  
  
"You really love me!!" Tsuzuki finished, taking the boy into his arms tightly again.  
  
*sweatdrop*  
  
It was useless.  
  
-----------------------  
  
It was really hard. Really, really hard, to find the right words to describe how happy he was feeling.  
  
Maybe it felt like a sugar high? A sugar high caused by all sorts of sweets, but specially those with glaced sugar on top and tasty filling of all kinds of flavours.   
  
Yup, yup.  
  
Or maybe it felt like eating strawberry cake, with whipped cream and extra, extra sugar. There had to be a sweet that identified his feelings. Or maybe he was just hungry?  
  
Never mind. Tsuzuki waltzed through the hall, quietly singing to himself his new mantra, and sure that all the birds in Meifuu had decided to join him.  
  
"'Soka is my boyfriend! 'Soka is my boyfriend!" he sang over and over again, jumping a little with each step and earning him the confused stares from the people who happened to be walking the halls at the time.  
  
He'd been properly kicked out of their office for shamelessly caressing Hisoka's leg with his bare foot while the young man tried to finish his load of files for the day. But he didn't mind.   
  
And he wasn't in the least put out for what he was about to do. After all, he was convinced 'Soka was actually some type of human sweet and he was, indeed, suffering from a sugar high. He was just too happy to care.   
  
Finally, he reached his destination and came to a stop in front of Tatsumi's door. The glass of said door graced him with a scene he was not ready for.  
  
Tatsumi was sitting behind his desk. His face was abnormally red and his eyes were clutched tight. He was gripping the edge of the desk for dear life with one hand, while the other remained hidden under the desk and his breathing seemed very harsh.  
  
It gave Tsuzuki quite a scare and he ran inside, at the same time trying to remember if shinigamis could have heart attacks.  
  
"Tatsumi-san!!" the dark haired man yelped in distress.   
  
The secretary opened his eyes -that were somewhat glassy- wide as saucers and gasped in surprise. He jumped on his seat and a loud bang was heard from under the desk, as well as a muffled yelp that Tsuzuki assumed it had been Tatsumi's. After all, he must have hit his knees horribly to make such noise. Tsuzuki was about to run to the other man's side when the secretary extended one hand, stopping him.  
  
"Tatsumi-san, what's wrong? Do you feel ok?" he asked nervously.  
  
Tatsumi took a deep, shaky breath and nodded.  
  
"Don't...don't come near me, I've a bit...of a cold. You...you could catch something."   
  
Tsuzuki took another step towards the brunette.  
  
"I don't care! Let me help you!!" he said, his voice seeping with concern.  
  
"No!!" Tatsumi shouted a bit too loudly and cleared his throat. "Seriously, Tsuzuki-san. I'm ok, I can manage!" his voice was turning desperate.  
  
Tsuzuki shook his head stubbornly.  
  
"I can take you to see Watari! You look awful!!"  
  
Now something that sounded like a chuckle came from under the desk, followed by another bang and another yelp. Tatsumi tried to cover up by kicking the side of the desk a few more times and again clearing his throat.   
  
Tsuzuki frowned.  
  
"My leg...my leg is...er..." Little drops of cold sweat started to appear on the secretary's brow. "I think I do have to go to the infirmary. Let me finish with this reports and I'll go. Don't worry about me."  
  
Tsuzuki hesitated for a moment. Now Tatsumi didn't look ill at all; just flushed and very embarrassed, which was far more worrying than the former. He could tell something weird was going on, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was better if he didn't know, a part of his brain told him.   
  
"Ok, Tatsumi-san. If you're sure..." Tatsumi nodded emphatically. "I just wanted to let you know I'll be out for an hour or two. I'll finish my work when I return, ok?"   
  
Yes, something was definitively wrong, because Tatsumi just nodded and motioned him to go away. No reprimand, no yelling. Weird.  
  
----------------  
  
As soon as Tsuzuki was out of the door, Tatsumi jumped from his seat and under the desk. Of course, he was face to face with a pair of teary amber eyes and a beautiful blond head adorned with two big bumps.   
  
The secretary took Watari's face with both hands and gently kissed the sore spot.  
  
"Sweetie are you ok? I'm so sorry." he cooed as Watari snuggled next to him, whimpering slightly.  
  
"Why'd you have to kick me?" the scientist whined.  
  
"I'm sorry! He took me off guard, I didn't know what to do. Please don't get angry with me." Watari's only response was a low grunt, but Tatsumi wasn't worried, because the scientist encircled his waist with his arms and rested his head on his shoulder while he did so.  
  
The secretary managed to get as comfortable as he could on the tiny space under his desk, pulling Watari close and comfortingly rubbing the scientist's back in circles. Though just a few minutes before they seemed to be having a lot more fun, he'd have to admit this was nice too.   
  
But something was obvious. They'd have to stop doing...'it' at the office.   
  
It wasn't as simple as it sounded though. They were two grown men...two very grown men, if you considered all the years they'd lived already, and they both had their structures and habits that would be very hard to break. Tatsumi knew it wasn't going to do to expect any of the two to change their ways. But it wasn't hopeless; not one bit. It was just a matter of using his brain; and if there was something Tatsumi was good at was thinking rationally.   
  
Though the idea that he came up with defied rationality if he thought about the possible damage to his home. But that seemed to escape him at that moment.  
  
"Sweetie?" he said softly, tucking a lock behind Watari's ear and causing the blond to sigh contently.   
  
"What?"  
  
"I have a spare room, you know?" his companion looked up and met his gaze, confusion and curiosity reflected on his features. "Well...," Tatsumi shrugged, "It's just that, when I got the place, I thought I could use it as a study. But I do all my work here, and that would have been spending money on furniture I wasn't really going to use. So then I thought about turning it into a library, but the truth is, I don't buy books. I always go to the library..." he stopped, feeling Watari chuckle.  
  
"Cheap bastard." the other man said amusedly.   
  
"Anyway,..." Tatsumi went on, ignoring Watari's words. "I was thinking...I'm not going to use that room; can't think of any use for it. And...well, the other day, when I took you back to your apartment I noticed that it's way too small for all the things you have there...Besides..." he shifted uncomfortably, "Well, my bed is bigger than yours and... It wouldn't mean anything because,...well, you could keep your stuff on that room; make it yours, and..."  
  
"What are you saying?" Watari couldn't keep the feeling of anticipation from his voice.   
  
Tatsumi locked eyes with him; he was nervous as hell and pretty sure he hadn't made any sense, but it was obvious Watari had picked up on it. The shadow master took a deep, deep breath and closed his eyes.  
  
"Would you move in with me?"  
  
He couldn't look; he just couldn't. It was too soon. Of course it was!! They had only made it official the day before and now he was asking Watari to move in with him?! What could have possessed him to say something so stupid? And Watari wasn't answering!! He'd blown it, he knew it.   
  
Watari was mildly and pleasantly shocked. Whatever had Tatsumi meant by all that rambling before was out of his grasp, but his last question had been pretty much to the point. It did occur to him that it would mean he wouldn't get to stay at the lab so late as he was used to, and that the perfect balance that the complete mess that was his house probably wouldn't fit with Tatsumi's sense of perfection. Maybe that was what the other man had meant about the other room; thought he couldn't be sure. But he was surprised to discover it really didn't matter. Tatsumi wasn't going to force his life style onto him, that was for certain. And the prospect of sharing a home with the secretary- the same man who a week before wouldn't let anyone near- was more than appealing.  
  
As amusing as it was seeing Tatsumi holding his breath, Watari felt it was time to give an answer. He just leaned over and nibbled the other man's ear viciously. He heard Tatsumi's sharp intake of breath and inwardly smiled.  
  
"Is...that...a...a...?"   
  
"Yes, silly." came the muffled reply. Those ears were just so edible!!  
  
Watari showed his disappointment when Tatsumi moved away and his ministrations to the now reddened earlobe became impossible; but the shadow master was quick to give him something far more interesting to nibble on, when he captured his lips in a heated kiss that promised them to return to their previous activities. Watari offhandedly wondered if Tatsumi knew any other kind of kiss.   
  
It wasn't long though, before Watari hit his head with the top of the desk once more. His head could only take so much, and so they pulled away, silently agreeing that it wasn't such a good idea after all. The secretary smiled sheepishly.  
  
"We can't do anything here; that much's for certain." Watari nodded his agreement. "But I promise you tonight I'll take you out to dinner and then you can crash at my...er...our place for the night, so we can continue." he said the last bit in a wistful tone, stroking Watari's cheek gently.  
  
They both crawled out from under the desk, dusting their clothes off. Watari sighed.  
  
"Well...I guess I should go back to the lab...keep pretending to work..."  
  
Tatsumi smiled knowingly.  
  
"Yeah, you make it sound like a joke. Don't think I'm not on to you. I'm still your boss, you know?"  
  
"I thought Konoe was our boss." Watari said innocently.  
  
"..."  
  
"Well, you can't blame me." Watari thought of something. Tatsumi could tell from the gleam on his love's eyes and the mischief on his face. "It's hard not to slack when you work on a lab that has no windows, a lock and a comfy, make-shift bed in it."  
  
As soon as those words left his mouth, Watari noticed delighted that he was being dragged rather forcefully towards his lab.  
  
Yes, life was *good*!!  
  
-----------------------  
  
Ah, it had all seemed so easy when he'd thought about it!!   
  
Yet again, Tsuzuki Asato found himself on a familiar school yard. He was starting to recognise some of the faces now. He was practically sure he had heard a good part of those kids' lives from their conversations as they talked to each other oblivious of him for the last three days.   
  
He even felt the urge to jump in on one of the conversations and give them some piece of advice. Well, they were talking about food, you see.  
  
This time his hands were shaking for an entire different reason than last time, but shaking nonetheless. He started to realise how awkward this meeting would be. As much as his brain- and his heart- had registered the fact that he'd been dating Hisoka all along, he'd still felt funny inside at the thought of seeing Hijiri again.  
  
But it had to be done. He had to leave all that sorry mess behind him once and for all and he did care about Hijiri. The boy had been a part on all of it; abeit not as he'd thought at first. Tsuzuki still had a thing or two to say to the young man.  
  
He steeled him self and took a deep breath as soon as he saw the young man. 'It wasn't him, it wasn't him', he repeated over and over again in his mind. Amazingly enough, now that he was paying attention, he couldn't understand how he'd mistaken the two seemingly identical boys. Hijiri carried himself in a completely different manner. Upon a closer look, he could even see physical differences!!  
  
Hijiri didn't seem to notice his presence. He was chatting happily with two friends when Tsuzuki tapped on his shoulder. He turned around and his eyes opened wide when he saw the older man. He smiled nervously and fidgeted a little.  
  
"Tsuzuki! Hi! What...? What are you doing here?"  
  
Now he could understand why Hijiri seemed so nervous when he saw him. The boy didn't know yet that their cover had been blown. And Tsuzuki knew he had a boyfriend around there somewhere. Still, his own nervousness was immediately replaced with an immense sense of gratitude; all he could think of doing was pulling Hijiri on a bear hug that made the young man gasp.  
  
"What?...What is it?!" Hijiri asked rather anxiously.   
  
From over the boy's shoulder, Tsuzuki could see the confused looks of his friends and he could feel Hijiri looking around in every direction.  
  
"It's ok, Hijiri. I know." he pulled away, gracing the young man with his widest smile. "Hisoka told me everything!"  
  
Hijiri stared at him, blinking confusedly.  
  
"*What* exactly do you know?" the young man asked hesitantly, to make sure he wasn't about to say something he shouldn't.  
  
Tsuzuki hugged him again. He was in the mood for hugging that day, it seemed.  
  
"Everything! I know that he pretended to be you, and that you were helping him!!"   
  
When Tsuzuki placed the boy back on the ground, Hijiri blushed furiously and stared at him in disbelief.  
  
"You know?" Tsuzuki nodded, smiling brightly. "And you're not mad?" Tsuzuki shook his head no. "Oh."  
  
"Actually," Tsuzuki cheered, "I'm forever thankful to you! If it weren't for you, 'Soka-chan wouldn't be my boyfriend!! Do you know what that means?! 'Soka-chan is *my* boyfriend!!"   
  
Oblivious to all the people around him, Tsuzuki begun singing his little song again. Hijiri, as well as his friends, sweat dropped.  
  
"What is that doctor doing here?" one of the boys whispered to the other, that just shrugged, flabbergasted. "Was he this crazy when he worked here?"   
  
"I'm happy for you. I'm glad everything turned out alright." Hijiri said finally, smiling somewhat sadly. "And I'm glad you didn't get angry with me."  
  
Tsuzuki noticed it; the slight sadness on the boy's eyes. He wasn't as dense as everyone thought. And it broke his heart to see it.   
  
To Hijiri's surprise, Tsuzuki pulled him into another hug but, unlike the enthusiastic, choking hug he'd received earlier, this one was awfully gentle and warm. In spite of himself, Hijiri leaned into the hug, smiling.  
  
"I know what it meant to you, Hijiri. How much it cost you." Tsuzuki whispered softly. "You have no idea how thankful I am and how much this means to me."  
  
"I love you, you know?" Hijiri whispered, closing his eyes so that fighting his tears wasn't as tenuous.   
  
Tsuzuki tightened his hold.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
"Yeah,...I know, just not the way...I wish,...you know?"  
  
"Yeah." Tsuzuki sighed and pulled away slightly. "But, if I'm not mistaken, you've found a pretty handsome guy, haven't you?" Hijiri blushed and nodded. "I guess we tall, dark haired hunks are irresistible, huh?" he joked "Does he love you? Is he good to you? Cause if he hurts you..."  
  
Hijiri's blush deepened and he waved him off nervously.  
  
"No, no! He's...he's great. I'm actually pretty happy."  
  
"Good." Tsuzuki answered honestly.  
  
After a long talk, Hijiri and Tsuzuki parted ways. Hijiri felt melancholic when the older man left. It would be a long while before he was finally over his feelings for him. But he was more than happy to know Tsuzuki wasn't going to disappear from his life. That had been his greatest fear; that upon finding out, the older man would hate him. He had thought about it and, in the end, Tsuzuki's happiness had meant more to him.   
  
Tsuzuki was moved and very surprised at the young man's selflessness. It made his heart swell. He'd make sure to make it up to him someday. After all, he owed him everything; more than what he'd ever be able to give.   
  
Remembering exactly what was waiting for him thanks to Hijiri, Tsuzuki rushed back to his office to see if he could convince 'Soka-chan of sneaking out of the office earlier and have a real first date.  
  
The incident at Tatsumi's office played back in his mind and he smiled. Yes he'd been dense; but being slow to catch up didn't mean he wouldn't catch up eventually. He couldn't wait to tell Hisoka what he'd seen.  
  
Who'd have thought? Tatsumi, of all people.  
  
Apparently, not much work would get done in Meifuu for a long while.  
  
---------------------  
  
The last bag was set in the trunk of the small car and Oriya sighed contently after closing it with a loud thud. He didn't know if it was the beautiful day, the warm air or the fact that he was finally going home, but Oriya was in a good mood.   
  
He practically ran inside the motel room to get Muraki, trying not to start singing to himself.  
  
In spite his hurry, he couldn't help to stop at the doorframe when he entered the room. He let a small smile play with his lips when he saw Muraki. The good doctor as standing next to the window; the evening light illuminated his figure in such a way, that for a moment Oriya couldn't see the bandages and the scars. For a split second, Muraki stood tall and proud, just as he'd always had. But eventually a cloud took the last rays of light away and Muraki's crumpled figure resurged.  
  
Oriya approached him and gently encircled his friend's shoulders, removing him from his contemplation. Muraki looked at him, the same fog in his gaze, and whispered.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"We're going home, Sensei. Remember I told you?"  
  
"Home..." Muraki said softly, as it trying to make sense of the word.  
  
The swordsman deposited his friend on the passenger seat and struggled to fasten his seatbelt. Muraki resumed looking at the darkening evening sky pretty much ignoring Oriya.  
  
Or at least that was what he'd thought. The dark haired man rushed his way into the drivers seat and was about to speed out of there as fast as he could when he felt a gaze upon him. Startled, he turned around to see that Muraki was, indeed, staring at him curiously.   
  
Oriya smiled.  
  
"Sensei? Is there something you need?"  
  
There was a slight surprise in the silver eyes. It was short lived though. Muraki stared at Oriya's eyes and, before the swordsman had a time to either freak out or stop him, the doctor placed a soft kiss on his lips.   
  
It was so fast that Oriya, shocked out of his mind, wasn't sure it hadn't been a product of his imagination. Oriya hadn't even blinked and Muraki was already staring at the sky again; as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Sensei?" he said weakly, unconsciously touching his lips.   
  
"I just wanted to say thank you." the doctor whispered without turning around.   
  
He wouldn't turn around; he was too engrossed in admiring the bloody red moon rising on the horizon, with a smirk on his face.  
  
  
  
~THE END~ 


End file.
